Have you tried to stop thinking about a certain man but for some reason you just can’t? Why won’t God remove your feelings for a man who’s not in your life anymore? Is there any hope of this ever changing, or will you always feel this way about this guy?
Here are 4 possible reasons you feel so attached to man even though he is no longer in your life anymore. And please note, I’m not saying all of these points apply to you. Rather, these are possibilities that will apply to different people based upon the facts of each person’s situation.
1. You Feel So Attached to This Man Because You Agreed with the Lie that You Will Always Have These Feelings for This Man
John 8:31-32 states, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” Of course, this is a reference to the gospel and being set free through Jesus alone. However, the principle that “the truth will set you free” certainly does apply in very practical ways as well.
A lie has no power over your feelings unless you agree with that lie. In other words, Satan, the world, and your own sinful nature cannot make you stay attached to this man. Rather, all they can do is lie to you that you will always feel this way. If you say, “Yes, you’re right. I will always have these strong feelings for this man who’s no longer in my life,” then your agreement with that lie will fuel your feelings to live that experience.
However, if you said, “No, I reject the lie that I will always have these strong feelings for this man. I know God would not want me to cling to a man who doesn’t love me,” then your emotions will follow your beliefs in time.
2. You Feel So Attached to This Man Because You Ran from Him in Fear and Now You Are Regretting Your Choice
Another possible reason you feel so attached to a man who’s no longer in your life is because your heart wanted to be with him but your fears pushed him away. Now the regret is forcing you to always remember him, making you feel like you will always have this deep ache.
There are a few possible solutions to an issue like this. First, you could contact the man and apologize. If he’s truly the right man for you, he will understand that you were dealing with fears and want to rekindle what you two lost.
Second, you could contact the man and he could let you know he’s truly moved on for good. If this happens, it will still help you let him go because you will know there’s no chance of getting back together.
Lastly, perhaps you know you ran in fear and you also know he wasn’t the one for you. In this case, you can simply accept that you made a mistake by living from a fear-based motive and then choose to learn from this.
Either way, if you have regrets because you ran in fear, God can either bring you two back together or he can help you have grace for yourself. No one is perfect. God can take our mistakes and still accomplish his will. Just because you made a mistake with this guy does not mean you have missed out on marriage forever. If God wants you married one day, he will pair you with the right man at the right time.
Agree in faith with Psalm 138:8, “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.”
3. You Feel So Attached to This Man Because Your Isolation Is Fueling a Fantasy
In Dr. Henry Cloud’s book called Changes that Heal, he writes:
A deep sense of isolation often leads to excessive idealism and romanticism. Isolated people do not experience the real, so they escape into the ideal. One can have a safe relationship with an ideal fantasy, but it never fulfills; only a real relationship can do that. Idealism furthers isolation. Real connection cures it.”
1 Peter 5:8 states, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Never sacrifice the real for fantasy. The real is often more painful, but it is also worth the pain too. When you only live in your thoughts, you lose out on truly living at all.
4. You Feel So Attached to This Man Because You Have Created a Soul Tie with Him
When I use the term “soul tie,” I don’t mean the same thing that many other people mean.
For my biblical explanation of how to break a soul a tie, you can read this article: 5 Signs God Is Preparing You to Break a Soul Tie.
