4 Signs You’ve Met the Right Man at the Wrong Time

Ecclesiastes 3:11

If you are a Christian woman who desires to be in a God-honoring marriage one day, is it possible to meet the right guy but at the wrong time?

Usually it’s the wrong time because it’s the wrong guy too. In other words, it will never be the right time with most men because it’s not usually a timing issue. Usually it’s a relationship issue. So don’t be too quick to assume you should just keep waiting for a guy because the timing is not right.

However, I do believe there are some instances where a woman has met the right guy but it’s just the wrong time. Here are 4 signs this may be happening to you.

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1. If the Bad Timing Is Needed to Create a Necessary Trial to Bring You Two Together, This Could Mean You Have Met the Right Man at the Wrong Time

Sometimes the obstacle is the opportunity. Sometime the barrier becomes the path. Sometimes the problem is actually the solution.

So in our context about meeting the right man at the wrong time, this could be true if God wants to use this bad timing as a means of bringing you two closer together. Sometimes a man and woman need a problem to overcome together in order for them to get as close as God wants them to be. Without fighting a problem and overcoming a difficulty together, they may never have developed into the strong couple God wants them to be.

Notice how this principle is expressed Romans 5:3-4 (NIV), “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” This verse is really about our walk with God and our Christian character. But it’s not hard to see how these principles relate so well to relationships.

What if the bad timing is meant to be a form of godly suffering that produces perseverance and which leads to needed character development? While you may wish this bad timing wasn’t keeping you two apart, it’s possible God needed to allow bad timing so he could bring you two together.

2. If He Possess the First Two Biblical Requirements for Being a Christian Spouse but Lacks the Third

There are basically three main requirements Christians must possess before entering into marriage. First, they must marry another Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39, 2 Corinthians 6:14). Second, they must marry someone who is bearing the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23, 1 John 1:6-7). And thirdly, they must be able to fulfill the role of a husband or wife based upon the Scriptural requirements (Ephesians 5:21-33).

So for example, there are people who have the first two requirements but lack the third. A man could be a real Christian, he could be bearing the fruits of the Spirit, but he might not be mature enough in his career to be a provider, or he might not be strong enough to be a spiritual leader in the home, or he may lack the willingness to pursue.

Normally, if a man lacks the biblical requirements for marriage, you shouldn’t wait. It’s possible he never matures and you are just wasting your time. However, if you’ve met a man who thrives in the first two categories but just needs more time so he can mature into being a godly husband, that could mean God wants you to wait.

This is especially relevant when you are on the younger side. There are many young Christian men who truly love Jesus but who are not yet mature enough for marriage. But they will be one day.

While an older man can mature and change, it is less common for this to be the real issue for him. If he’s had time to develop to fulfill the role of a husband but he just hasn’t, I would be more cautious and less eager to give him more time.

3. If He’s in a Relationship with Someone Else Right Now, He Could Be the Right Guy at the Wrong Time

This certainly does not apply if a man is already married (Mark 10:9). He’s off the market and you shouldn’t be thinking about any possible divorces and such.

However, Christians should have a nuanced view when it comes to other couples who are simply dating. Dating is not marriage. It’s okay to have feelings for a man who is currently in a dating relationship with someone else.

It’s not okay to interfere with that relationship. It’s not okay to have an emotional affair with this man while he’s dating another woman. So of course you need to be very careful that you don’t fall into sin. But again, it’s not immoral to hope to be with a man who is only dating another woman.

If you really respect a guy and have strong feelings for him, it’s possible he is the right man but it’s just the wrong time if he’s dating someone else. Respect the relationship he is currently in.

I would also not wait around and reject other relationship opportunities in hopes they will break up.

But if they do break up, be prepared to act when the time is right. Don’t rush it. Give him time to heal. But it’s certainly possible that they break up and then God puts you two together.

4. If You Two Want to Be Together But You Need to Wait for the Life Circumstances to Change

The most common scenario where a woman has met the right guy but it’s just the wrong time occurs when there is some practical barrier keeping the two a part (Ecclesiastes 3:11). For example:

  • Perhaps you two were connecting but then he had to move away for work; however, he’s planning on moving back next year.
  • Or maybe you are going to college and you meet a man there; however, despite your great connection, your studies and maturity level is preventing you both from progressing forward together. Perhaps after graduation things could be different.
  • Or maybe you both are older and one of you has become a recent widow. That person needs time to heal and move into this new season. However, over time, it’s possible God will open your hearts to be together.

When it comes to questions about meeting the right person at the wrong time, there are many possibilities and variables we need to consider. This is one of the reasons I’ve created AGW University. The Bible doesn’t give us exact blueprints to follow for every specific relationship question. Rather, it gives us timeless principles that can guide us in all situations, no matter how unique.

These are the principles I unpack in a very deep way through my relationship courses. If you want to explore the specific topics covered in these courses before enrolling, feel free to click here.

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