Should you keep waiting for that guy to pursue you or should you fully move on in your heart? Here are 4 things that mean God is probably telling you not to wait for that man to pursue you.
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1. If This Man Has Asked You to Wait for Him More Than Once, This Is Probably a Sign that God Does Not Want You to Wait for Him Any Longer
If he’s asked you to wait more than once, it’s no longer a one-time delay—it’s a developing pattern. Promises without pursuit show inconsistency, not commitment.
To be fair, sometimes two people want to be with each other but one of them has something going on in their life that makes them feel they cannot enter into this relationship right now. The two have openly expressed romantic interest in each other, but the one person is not ready to commit for some reason, and so they ask the other person to wait for them.
I would not consider this a red flag. At this point I would consider this a yellow flag. While I think it is best to not express romantic interest in someone if you are not willing to commit to them yet, I don’t think it needs to be an absolute dealbreaker.
However, if that first time period of waiting passes but then this man asks you to wait for him a second time, then I would see this as a red flag. This is no longer a request. This is now a trend (Proverbs 26:11). You now have a pattern of this man saying he likes you but showing you something very different with his lack of real pursuit and commitment.
2. If You Would Only Be Waiting Solely Because of Your Feelings and Not Because of Any Facts, This Is Usually a Sign God Does Not Want You to Wait for This Man to Pursue You
If your only reason for waiting is your emotions, not evidence, it’s likely not from God. Don’t build your life on “what ifs” and wishful thinking—ground your decisions in reality, not romantic imagination.
Many women end up waiting for a man longer than they should because they are waiting for what “could” happen. In other words, the wrong question to ask is, “If I keep waiting for this man, is it possible that he will pursue me one day?” The answer to that question will always be yes. But it’s a flawed question. You should never base your life decisions upon what “could” happen because there is a small chance that any number of different things could happen. You could win the lottery, you could find gold in a river, and you could get struck by lightning the next time you walk out of your house.
These types of things have truly happened to people. But while these things could happen, they are certainly very unlikely to happen and thus it would be very unwise to plan your life around them happening.
If there are good reasons to wait, then keep waiting. If your friends and family can agree that it is wise to keep waiting, then keep waiting. But when feelings are running the show and there are no facts, this is the opposite of wisdom (Ephesians 5:15-17).
3. If You Are Not in a Relationship with This Man Because of His Current Spiritual Immaturity, This Is Usually a Sign God Does Not Want You to Wait for Him to Pursue You Later
Don’t put your future on pause for someone who isn’t presently prepared to walk with God or with you.
As I said in point 1, in wisdom we must assess people on who they are right now and not by who they could be in the future (2 Timothy 2:22). The Bible doesn’t say that you should assess people on the possibility of what they might be if the Spirit one day fills this person’s heart. God doesn’t want you to look at someone living in sin and then imagine what they would be like if they were not living in sin. This causes us to live in an alternative universe that only exists in our minds.
If you are waiting for a man to turn into a completely different person than who he is right now, you should stop waiting and fully move on.
4. If You Are Waiting for This Man Only Because You Had a Sense at One Point in the Past that This Was What God Wanted, Oftentimes This Is a Sign God Does Not Want You to Wait for This Man
If you’re waiting based solely on a past “sense” that God said so—without present scriptural, spiritual, or situational support—it’s time to reconsider. Personal impressions must be confirmed by God’s word and wise counsel.
One mistake that often happens to Christians is that they only rely on one means of hearing God. They feel like God says something to them in their heart but then they do not look for biblical (Psalm 119:24) and circumstantial evidence (Matthew 10:11-14) that would confirm they heard God accurately. The danger in basing big decisions only on what you sense God saying is that this way of hearing God is easily manipulated by our own personal desires (James 1:22).
Please don’t misunderstand me. I do believe God could tell a woman to wait for a man to pursue her. My only point here is that a big decision like this should be coupled with additional confirmation rather than just relying on a personal experience where you felt God said something to you.
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