5 Bible Verses to Know if a Man Secretly Likes You (Ruth 2)

Does he like you? Is he just playing games? Have you been proactive enough to help him realize he should keep pursuing you? What are this man’s intentions?

While Scripture is clear that only God can truly know what is going on in someone’s heart (1 Samuel 16:7), the Bible also gives us many principles that can help us properly discern someone’s intentions (Matthew 7:20). One such example involves the events that took place before Ruth invited Boaz to pursue her into marriage.

While it is true that Ruth did something very proactive to encourage Boaz to pursue her in Ruth 3, it is also important to realize how many things Boaz did in Ruth 2 before Ruth and Naomi felt led to make such a bold move.

You see, Naomi and Ruth didn’t randomly pick Boaz for Ruth’s husband. The reason Naomi came up with a plan for Ruth to follow to invite Boaz to pursue her was that these women saw certain behaviors in Boaz that made it clear he would be open to pursuing her if he felt he had a chance. In other words, they felt he had good intentions for Ruth.

Boaz probably would have pursued Ruth without her bold invitation if it weren’t for their age difference. However, once he got the green light from her, it was clear that he had already thought a lot about her and already wanted her to be his wife before she said anything.

Therefore, by studying five Bible verses from Ruth 2, we can gather five ways for you to properly decode a man’s true intentions for you.

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1. Ongoing Attention on Your Well-Being Is a Sign a Man May Be Romantically Interested

Ruth 2:5-9, “Then Boaz said to his young man who was in charge of the reapers, ‘Whose young woman is this?’ And the servant who was in charge of the reapers answered, ‘She is the young Moabite woman, who came back with Naomi from the country of Moab. She said, “Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves after the reapers.” So she came, and she has continued from early morning until now, except for a short rest.

^“Then Boaz said to Ruth, ‘Now, listen, my daughter, do not go to glean in another field or leave this one, but keep close to my young women. Let your eyes be on the field that they are reaping, and go after them. Have I not charged the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn.’” 

First, Boaz asked another person about her. Next, Boaz approached her and offered provision and protection. And as you will see in the points ahead, this was not a one-time offer of kindness. Boaz continued to show great concern for Ruth’s well-being. Surely this was a huge reason Naomi and Ruth assumed that Boaz might be interested in marrying Ruth if he had the opportunity.

If a man in your life is polite, asks how your day is going, or helped you one time in the past when he saw you in need, this is not a sign he might be romantically interested in you. Some guys are gentlemen to everyone. Some men ask everyone how their day is going. And any decent man is going to stop and help a woman he knows if she has a flat tire or if he sees her trying to lift something too heavy.

On the other hand, for example, when you tell a man at church that your grandmother is sick and having surgery on Tuesday, and then he goes out of his way next Sunday to ask how her surgery went and to see how you are managing it all, that is a sign he is showing ongoing attention to your well-being.

Or, for example, if you are having car trouble and he offers to take a look at it, and then he calls his mechanic friend to get you an appointment, that is a good sign he is showing extra attention that goes beyond mere kindness.

2. Verbally Affirming How You Handled Something Significant in Your Life Is a Sign He Might Be Romantically Interested

Ruth 2:11-12, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!” 

It can be polite and a nice gesture to offer a quick statement like:

• “Hey, I heard about your dad’s cancer diagnosis. I’ll be praying for him.”
• “Hey, you did a great job giving that presentation last Sunday morning.”
• “Hey, I’m sorry things didn’t work out at your job. I’m sure you’ll find something even better.”

However, when a single woman is going through something hard in life, and then a single man goes out of his way to say something more significant than a kind gesture, that’s a strong sign he might be romantically interested.

Most men would know that to say too much when a woman is going through something hard would give her the thought that perhaps he does have feelings for her. So, to avoid giving her that impression, if he doesn’t have romantic feelings for her, he won’t offer her deeper words of comfort or encouragement. He will know that it is better left to someone else in her life.

However, if a man is romantically interested in her, he will find it hard not to show more affection for her in her time of trouble. Notice how Boaz cut to the heart and spoke about very sensitive matters. He talked about how noble he thought Ruth acted after her husband died. He recognized the incredible sacrifice she had made for Naomi by leaving her own family and the only country she had ever known. He then verbalized deep words of care, hoping that she would be immensely blessed by the Lord.

Likewise, if a man has true interest in you, in times of trials, he may say something more like:

• “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry to hear about your dad’s cancer diagnosis. I’m sure he is feeling extremely blessed to have a daughter like you by his side. I’m going to be praying for him and for you. If there’s ever anything I can do to help, please let me know. If he can’t do things around the house for a while, I’d be happy to pitch in. Seriously, just let me know.”
• “I really enjoyed your presentation last week. It was so obvious you were walking in your gifting. You were glowing up there. And I learned a lot. I love what you said about the historical context of that passage and how it relates to our times. I never thought about it like that. You should keep pursuing teaching opportunities. I can tell the Lord has really blessed you in that area.”
• “I’m not trying to be nosey, but I heard what happened at your job. I’m sorry you were put in that position. But I just wanted to say I have a lot of respect for standing your ground. You exposed a lot of unethical behavior, and now those bad actors are mad at you. I had to go through something like that at my last job. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, just let me know. I know how you’re feeling right now.”

Not only is the volume of words more in responses like these, but the depth of expressed care is also much greater. If a man shares his heart about his concern for you in a way that goes beyond politeness, that is a good sign he might be romantically interested in you.

3. Attempts at Including You in His Social Network Is a Good Sign He’s Interested in You

Ruth 2:14-16, “And at mealtime Boaz said to her, ‘Come here and eat some bread and dip your morsel in the wine.’ So she sat beside the reapers, and he passed to her roasted grain. And she ate until she was satisfied, and she had some left over. When she rose to glean, Boaz instructed his young men, saying, ‘Let her glean even among the sheaves, and do not reproach her. And also pull out some from the bundles for her and leave it for her to glean, and do not rebuke her.’”

This wasn’t just about food. This was actually Boaz making attempts at bringing Ruth into his community. In that culture, they were probably taking pieces of bread from one loaf and sharing one cup of wine. To invite Ruth to eat with them in this manner was to show everyone that Ruth was a part of their community. This was also confirmed by what he then said to his workers about allowing her to work even closer to them than was normally acceptable.

Likewise, if a guy goes out of his way to invite you to things his friends are doing, or if he knows you are new and introduces you to some female friends he already has, or if he is always calling you over so you have a place to sit near him, these could be little signs that mean he is interested.

4. If It Appears He’s Positioning Himself for Future Pursuit, This Is a Good Sign He’s Interested

Ruth 2:20, “And Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, ‘May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!’ Naomi also said to her, ‘The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.’” 

Boaz wasn’t clueless about his family relations to Ruth. He knew he was one of her redeemers; meaning, he knew he was one of the people who could marry her (Ruth 3:12). Thus, it’s not a stretch to assume that Boaz might have known his extra acts of generosity could be perceived as romantic interest.

While we don’t know for sure, it’s possible that he knew his age would be a problem for most women Ruth’s age, and yet, he also knew he was interested in her. So he could have been showing her extra kindness as a way of seeing how she responded.

This idea is supported by the fact that when Ruth did express romantic interest in Boaz, he spent basically zero seconds acclimating to the idea of marrying her. In Ruth 3:9, Ruth invited his pursuit. In Ruth 3:10-13, he verbalized a complete plan on the steps he needed to take to marry her. The very next morning, he then took those steps. The point being, it certainly appears like Boaz was chomping at the bit for a chance with Ruth.

All that to say, if a man seems to be positioning himself to pursue you, he probably is. For example, if you were dating someone else but now you are back on the dating market and all of sudden this guy is texting and hanging around you, it’s probably because he’s interested. Or if he is trying to get to know your family and build rapport with them as he is also becoming friends with you, that’s probably because he wants something more with you.

5. Consistency for a Significant Period of Time Is a Sign of Romantic Interest

Ruth 2:21, “So she kept close to the young women of Boaz, gleaning until the end of the barley and wheat harvests. And she lived with her mother-in-law.”

Unfortunately, there have been a handful of women over the years who have misapplied my advice that a woman needs to be inviting if she wants to be pursued. When they hear that idea, it can be exciting, especially when they have been oversaturated with teachings that only focus on the need to wait and be patient. When they hear they can do something to cause a man to pursue, they sometimes do too much and too soon.

Notice, however, that the events that took place in Ruth 2 and Ruth 3 took place over months, not weeks, and certainly not days. It might be easy to read Ruth 2 and Ruth 3 and assume it all happened in quick succession. But notice that Ruth 2:21 states she continued to work in Boaz’s field until the end of the barley and wheat harvest. Most scholars, therefore, conclude Ruth 2 and Ruth 3 are separated by two to three months.

All that to say, any man can act interested for a day or two. But when a godly man is truly interested in a woman, he’s willing to invest for the long haul. I’m not saying you should make him wait or play hard to get. But I am saying you need to let time be a protector for you.

Speed kills. Patience protects. If a man is getting to know you over time and not rushing things, that is a sign he has good intentions for you.

Going Forward

With all that said, let’s not forget that to confirm what they suspected of Boaz’s feelings for Ruth, Naomi and Ruth came up with a plan that involved the only sure way to know how a man feels (Ruth 3:1-5). Ruth invited Boaz to pursue her in a very clear way (Ruth 3:9).

Likewise, I would not invite a man to pursue you in a very clear way unless this man has already made his intentions known in very clear ways like Boaz did. Don’t start applying Ruth 3 before the man has started applying Ruth 2.

Yes, Ruth did boldly invite Boaz. But Boaz also did some very clear things to make it known he would be interested in Ruth if he thought he had a chance with her. When Ruth made it clear that he did have a chance with her, Boaz pursued her into marriage (Ruth 3:10-12).

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