5 Biblical Ways to Cause Someone to Open Their Heart to You

2 Corinthians 6:11-13

If you have romantic feelings for someone but this person seems guarded and closed off towards you, what should you do? In some instances, there’s nothing you can do. Sometimes the connection is just not meant to be.

However, at other times, there are things you can do to improve this connection with this person you like. I’m not telling you there are things you can do to manipulate anyone into opening their heart to you. I’m simply pointing out that there are actions you can take that will help someone open their heart more than if you didn’t take these actions.

Therefore, here are 5 biblical things you can do that will sometimes cause someone to open their heart to you.

1. By Guarding This Person’s Heart, This Will Cause Them to Open Their Heart to You

Scripture commands Christians to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). However, guarding your heart does not mean you never open it. Rather, guarding your heart is when you make wise decisions that protect yourself. Eventually, though, it is wise and loving to open your heart to someone. How will we know when this time comes?

We will know it’s time to open our heart when it seems like it’s worth the risk. Love is always a risk. So we can’t guarantee we won’t get hurt if we open our heart to someone. But to guard our hearts, we must make sure we have taken precautionary steps to ensure we are opening ourselves up to the right person.

If you are pressing them and tempting them to engage in emotional promiscuity, this will be a red flag to them that you are unsafe. Thus, one way you can help this person know you are safe to open up to is by helping them guard their heart in the first place.

How can you help them guard their heart?

2. By Going Slow and Steady, This Will Cause Them to Open Their Heart to You

One way you can help this person guard their heart is by engaging them at a cautious but consistent pace (Song of Solomon 8:4), particularly at the beginning of the relationship.

If you are a man who is pursuing a woman, this means that you want to text, call, and invite her to spend time with you on a regular basis while also not being pushy or going too deep in conversations. You have to find the balance of being forward so she knows you are not playing games while also not being forceful so she doesn’t feel hunted.

If you are a woman who is inviting a man to pursue her, this means you want to respond quickly when he texts and calls. It means you should say yes whenever possible when he initiates spending time with you. You want to show him that you want him to pursue you while also not putting pressure on him to commit too soon.

When people don’t know what to expect, they are guarded. By being consistent, you become trustworthy.

3. Make Them Feel Safe By Properly Stewarding What They Give You

We should test each other before fully trusting each other. I’m not saying you should put people through ridiculous dating games. But I am saying that your trust towards someone should correspond to evidence of trustworthiness.

In other words, you can trust someone a little when you only know a little about them. The more you know them, the more you can trust them. Thus, if this person is trying to see if they can trust you, this person will be gauging how you are stewarding what they are giving you.

Are you being respectful when this person talks about hard things from their past, or are you quickly moving on and ignoring their vulnerability? Are you learning about their desires and then using that information to love them well, or are you using that information to manipulate them into doing what you want?

Luke 16:10 says, “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” When this person trusts you with something small, make sure you steward that trust well. When you pass these smaller tests, this will cause this person to open their heart more to you.

4. Choose Your Romantic Attempts with Others Carefully

If you date everyone you can, this will cheapen other people’s appreciation of the time you give them. I’m not saying it’s wrong to go on dates with people. Most people do not marry the first person they date in life. It’s not a sin to date someone and then break up.

My point here is that you just want to be careful that you are not needlessly dating too many people because this will make others question your devotion to them once you start dating them. When you are selective in dating, it makes the people you date feel valued.

People will assess you by how you have interacted with others. When you have a history of honorable behavior, this will help someone open their heart to you when the time is right.

Proverbs 22:1 (NKJV), “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.”

5. Open Your Heart More to This Person If You Want Them to Open Their Heart to You

In 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (NIV), Paul wrote, “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.”

We must always treat others how we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). When you open your heart first, it makes someone feel safe to then open their heart to you.

Related Article: How to Know When It’s Time to Open Your Heart to Someone