Here are 5 harmful things God will warn you about if someone has a bad plan for you.
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1. If Someone Is Very Conditional Towards You, Oftentimes This Means God Is Warning You That This Person Has a Bad Agenda for You
Only God offers perfect, unconditional love. There needs to be some conditions in human relationships, especially early on. Without having standards for ourselves and mutually agreed upon rules for relationships, we will end up getting trampled on and misused by selfish people.
With that said, in selfishness we can also go too far in being conditional towards others. If a relationship is really just a business deal where two parties agree to fulfill their end of the contract, this will not result in true love.
For example, if someone blocks your calls for days if you miss one call from them, this is a sign they are being harmfully conditional. If someone becomes passive aggressive every time you do something they don’t like rather than learning to communicate and compromise, they are being conditional. If someone will only do what you want if you first do what they want rather than both of you spontaneously seeking to please each other, this is a sign of a conditional person. As Paul warned in 2 Corinthians 11:19-21, which states:
For you gladly bear with fools, being wise yourselves! For you bear it if someone makes slaves of you, or devours you, or takes advantage of you, or puts on airs, or strikes you in the face. To my shame, I must say, we were too weak for that!”
While you need standards and expectations for each other, if someone is going too far and trying to make you their slave by controlling you through a conditional relationship, this means God is warning you that this person is selfish and should be avoided.
2. If Someone Is Rushing You, Oftentimes This Means God Is Warning You That This Person Has a Bad Agenda for You
A key element to any plan is a timeline. Whenever we create goals, we usually attach an end date to when we want this goal accomplished by. I point this out because when someone has a bad plan for you, they will start to rush you when they feel like they might miss their deadline for their plans for you.
If someone just wants to sleep with you, they won’t want to spend months and months working on your relationship. Rather, they will want to rush you to come to their house, drink alcohol, and get down to business. If someone just wants to date you for the status and not because they really want to explore the possibility of marriage with you, they will rush the “getting to know you phase” and will just want the title so they can tell people and get the social praise they desire. If someone just wants to use you for your money, they will not take their time. They will take you shopping and see if you perform or not.
A healthy relationship can’t be rushed. It takes time for two people to really get to know each other and to gain healthy confidence that God really is leading you two together.
Proverbs 19:2 states, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” When someone has a bad plan for you, they will rush you because they want you to miss your way and follow their way instead.
3. If Someone Is Falsely Accusing You, This Means God Is Warning You That This Person Has a Bad Agenda for You
Satan is called the accuser of the brethren (Revelations 12:10). It should be no surprise, therefore, when Satan’s followers do the same (2 Corinthians 11:13-15).
When someone has a bad agenda for you, they will use unfair accusations in order to make you doubt yourself. If you are someone who wants to only have sex in marriage, they will accuse you and say, “Why are you leading me on? If you loved me you would have sex with me?” If you do like this person but they don’t really like you and are really just getting an ego boost off their conversations with you, they will say, “Why are you always asking me about the future? Can’t we just enjoy the moment?” If this person is using you to make someone else jealous, they will say, “Why would you accuse me of something like that? You are the one who is insecure. You don’t trust me.”
Accusations are often camouflaged in the form of a question. When Delilah was trying to get Samson’s secret to his strength so she could tell it to his enemies, Judges 16:15 states, “And she said to him, ‘How can you say, “I love you,” when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and you have not told me where your great strength lies.”
If someone questions you and accuses you in unfair ways, usually this means they are trying to steer you in a certain direction that you would not naturally go if they did not push you in that way.
4. If Someone Is Putting Unhealthy Pressure on You to Do Something You Don’t Want to Do, This Means God Is Warning You That This Person Has a Bad Agenda for You
Love is patient and kind. It does not insist on its own way (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Fake love is impatient and rude. It does insist on its own way. Notice how much pressure Delilah put on Samson because she had a bad agenda for him. Judges 16:16-18 explains:
And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death. And he told her all his heart . . . When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘Come up again, for he has told me all his heart.’”
Just as Delilah pressured Samson until she finally got what she wanted, so too will God warn you about someone who is pressuring you and nagging you until they finally get what they want from you. Don’t make the same mistake Samson did by letting this person remain in your life. Samson thought he was strong enough to withstand this evil person’s bad plan for him. Remove this person from your life and don’t let them pressure you any longer.
5. If Someone Is Making Promises to You Before They Should, This Often Means God Is Warning You That This Person Has a Bad Plan for You
Promises are powerful because they give us hope in the present for a better future. It’s been said that you can bear any “how” if you have a strong enough “why.” If someone is putting you through hell right now, they will promise you heaven in the future. They want you to suffer with them now so they need to give you a reason to remain in this bad situation; they make promises about the future because your present with them is so bad. But a promise is only as good as the person who makes the promise.
God’s promises should give us hope in the present because of the better future he is promising because God is always faithful to fulfill his word. Some promises by people can be trusted if they make those promises at the right time and have the character to deliver. But if someone is making promises too early in the relationship and lack the character to actually deliver on these promises, just know that this person is making these promises about the future so they can control you in the present.
Reject and avoid people who are simply telling you what you want to hear so you will do what they want you to do. Pray as David did in Psalm 140:1-2, 8 (NIV), which states:
Rescue me, Lord, from evildoers; protect me from the violent, who devise evil plans in their hearts and stir up war every day. . . . Do not grant the wicked their desires, Lord; do not let their plans succeed.”
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