5 Indicators Your Future Husband Is NOT Who You Think He Is

Ephesians 3:20-21

If you are a Christian woman, for many of you, God is going to bless you with an amazing man of God. Your future husband is coming. However, more often than not, this man that just came to your mind is not the man God will be sending.

Therefore, here are 5 indicators that usually mean your future husband is not the man you think he is.

1. If You’ve Been Stuck in Singleness Because You’re Waiting for that One Guy to Finally Pursue You, Oftentimes This Means Your Future Husband Is Not Who You Think He Is

Along the journey towards marriage for a woman, something happens that causes many women to get stuck in singleness for much longer than is necessary. Oftentimes, you will meet a man that has all the qualities you think you want and need in a husband, thus you assume you have met the one. While for some, this really is their future husband, for many others, this is simply a traffic jam that they need to get out of.

How will you know if you should keep waiting for this man who has all the qualities you want? Well, you have to remember the most important quality that you want in a future husband: Love. Does he love you? If he isn’t showing love for you, he’s not what you really want.

If a man is not pursuing you after a healthy time of getting to know you, it means he doesn’t like you enough to want to pursue you. If he doesn’t like you enough to pursue you, it’s safe to assume he’s never going to love you enough to be a good a husband to you. I know that can sound harsh, but it’s best to face the facts.

Would you want to be married to a man who doesn’t love you? Of course you wouldn’t. Your future husband will love you (Ephesians 5:25).

2. If You Have to Reshape “Your List” in Order to Receive the Marriage Blessing God Wants to Give You, This Is Often an Indicator Your Future Husband Is Not Who You Think He Is

Oftentimes your list of requirements for your future husband becomes a list of barriers blocking you from the man God has for you. In other words, while it’s healthy to have some hopes for a certain type of man, it can also be dangerous to imagine a man you think you need and demand God give you someone who matches what you have created in your mind (Proverbs 16:9).

Relationships are much easier when we stop trying to make people what we want them to be and we start enjoying them for who they are. I’m not saying you should settle for a man you would be unhappy with. I’m just saying that sometimes you will only be happy with a man once you relax your death grip on your expectations and allow life to happen to you instead of always trying to control everything.

Stick to the biblical requirements for a husband (Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7). After those, keep your other demands to a minimum. Get to know a guy and allow yourself to appreciate the qualities he does have. You might realize you love this man far more than the man you thought you would end up with (Ephesians 3:20-21).

3. If the Door Was Suddenly Shut that You Thought Led to Your Future Marriage, This Simply Means Your Future Husband Is Going to Be a Different Man that You Expected

Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” If this verse doesn’t capture the essence of unrequited love, I don’t know what does. It’s healthy to feel hurt if you were in a great relationship that suddenly turned south.

However, after a healthy season of grieving and healing, you have to remember that this closed door is simply a sign that God is going to open a different door for you when it comes to meeting the right man (if he’s called you to marriage).

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4. If Your Lack of Romantic Interest Has Allowed You to Connect Deeply with a Male Friend and Now Your Feelings Are Starting to Grow for Him, This Is an Indication Your Future Husband Is a Man You Didn’t Expect

For some people, there’s a curious paradox when it comes to emotionally connecting with another person. On one hand, you want to connect most deeply with the person you have the most romantic interest in. On the other hand, you are least likely to connect most deeply with this person because of all the preexisting pressure that often prevents natural beginnings to emotional intimacy.

For this same reason, people often end up emotionally connecting the most deeply with the person they didn’t have any romantic feelings for. Because there was no hidden motive, because there was no pressure, because you didn’t have any expectations, you and this man were able to connect in a way you never could have if you were romantically infatuated with him.

Allow God to change your feelings. Sometimes, for some women, God didn’t give them a strong initial connection with their future husband because he knew it would have prevented her from connected emotionally with him in the long-term. But now that she has deeply connected emotionally with him, God then gives her the romantic interest too so she can realize this man is in fact her future husband.

Notice that Ruth knew Boaz was her redeemer (Ruth 2:20), but it appears she only wanted him to marry her after she got to know him through the months of the barley harvest (Ruth 2:23 through Ruth 3:1-5).

5. If Your Views on Marriage Are Maturing, This Is Often an Indication Your Future Husband Is Not Who You Thought It Would Be

Sometimes God allows you to date a few guys who have what you think you want so you can realize that’s not actually what you want.

Some guys can be good friends. Other guys can even be good boyfriends. But to be a good husband, a man needs a Christian maturity and steadfastness that other relationship roles do not require (1 Peter 3:7, Colossians 3:19, 1 Corinthians 11:3, Hebrews 13:4).

If God is maturing your views on marriage, this is also a strong indication that you will marry a man that you never would have considered in the past.

Related Article: 4 Marks of a Man Sent By God to Be a Blessing to You