James 4:3 (NIV), “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” Is this the only verse that can explain why you are not married even though you really want a spouse? Of course not!
Motives are not always the issue. Sometimes there isn’t an “issue.” Perhaps it’s just not God’s timing for you to be married because he wants you and your future spouse to serve him in a particular way that is best accomplished in singleness right now.
With that said, it is possible that God is waiting to bless some people with marriage until they have the right motives. Therefore, here are 5 biblical motives for marriage God wants you to have so he can bless you with a spouse.
Also, if you are a Christian single woman who wants to glorify the Lord in marriage one day at the side of a godly man, my new book is for you. It’s called Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.
Price Until 10/13/2024: $5.99
Do you feel lonely? Do you desire a healthy relationship with a godly man? Does God want you to do something to meet your future husband or is he telling you to just wait? These are the types of problems and questions the book of Ruth can help a woman solve.
Sadly, many Christian women have been incorrectly taught that they should do nothing but wait for the man to pursue. While it is true there will always be an element of waiting as a woman who desires a man to pursue her, it is untrue that she should “just wait.”
God designed the man to need the woman’s help. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). This truth also applies to a man finding his future wife. He needs your help!
Invite Him is a unique Bible study for a very specific type of person. I wrote this book for Christian single women who believe in the power of God’s word and who want to obey the Lord’s guidance towards marriage.
If you want detailed biblical information on how to help your future husband find you without you leading or pursuing him, I wrote this book for you.
And to celebrate the release of this new book and to help get it into the hands of as many people as possible, I’ll be offering it for just $5.99 until October 13th. The regular price for this book will be $15.99.
So if you want to learn how to help your future husband to find you, now is the perfect time to purchase this book. Click here to learn more!
1. To Glorify and Love God Is a Biblical Motive for Marriage
If you want to glorify God in your relationships, this means you must reveal the character and image of God in your relationships. God is love (1 John 4:8). While we must reflect the love of God even when we are not married and to more people than just our spouses, it is a powerful image of God’s love when you love a spouse (Ephesians 5:32).
Not only does God want and command us to glorify him, but God has actually designed us to glorify him through bearing his image (Genesis 1:27). When we are living the way God designed us, our lives will be more ordered and effective.
Thus, not only is glorifying and loving God a powerful motive that will free God to bless you with marriage, but having this motive will also empower you to operate in a healthy marriage. When a man and woman love God and want to glorify him, they are functioning according to God’s design and things in their marriage will be much smoother for them compared to people who rebel against his design.
2. Love for Another Person Is a Biblical Motive for Marriage
Perhaps one of the most profound verses in all the Bible regarding human relationships is Genesis 2:18 (NIV), “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” The is such an amazing statement by God because he said this before sin occurred. God actually said Adam was missing something even though he and Adam had an undefiled connection.
So why was it not good for Adam to be alone even though Adam had a relationship with God? The Bible doesn’t clearly answer this question; however, it seems to me the answer is love. Without Eve, Adam would not have another person to serve and love. When we are isolated and do not have a way to give our love away to someone who needs it, this is not good for us (Acts 20:35).
God wants and deserves our love. But he doesn’t “need” our live like another human will. People are dependent on each other in ways that God is not. Thus, creating a relationship dynamic where we are needed is a gift God created through creating human relationships.
Additionally, to really love God, we must also love others (1 John 4:20, Matthew 22:37-40).
3. Desiring a Ministry Partner Is a Biblical Motive for Marriage
1 Corinthians 7 teaches us that those who can better serve Christ as singles should remain single. It also says that if you can better serve Christ as a married person, then you should seek to be married. The point of 1 Corinthians 7 is not singleness or marriage but what positions you to best serve Christ.
Each individual is made different by God (1 Corinthians 7:7), thus singleness may be better for some and marriage may be better for some. Serving God, however, is the main point for us all (1 Corinthians 10:31).
4. Companionship Is a Biblical Motive for Marriage
Since we are made in God’s image, it should be no surprise that we are made for community. Before God made anything, he has always been in the triune relationship of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
I believe this is another reason God said that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). An isolated human does not do well because we are made in God’s image and he was never alone. When someone is locked in solitary confinement for too long, they will literally go crazy. Put simply, humans crave companionship because God designed us to need this.
Marriage is certainly not the only relationship where this longing for human companionship will be satisfied. Family, friends, and the church all play a role in a healthy human community. Marriage, however, is a special place when it comes to companionship.
At the heart of a healthy, satisfying marriage is not romance, passion, economic stability, or the joys of parenting. Besides God himself, the core of a healthy marriage is companionship. When a man and a woman become a husband and wife, they are committing to being the best of companions until death do them part.
5. Emotional and Sexual Intimacy Is a Biblical Motive for Marriage
God has made humans as emotional and sexual beings. In sin, sex can be idolized or demonized in ways that are unbiblical. But when filled with the Holy Spirit and walking in God’s ways, it is very healthy for a Christian to desire emotional and sexual intimacy with a spouse because God has designed most humans to possess this gift (1 Corinthians 7:7, Hebrews 13:4).
God is the one we need most. His love must be supreme in our souls. Without Jesus, we can nothing (John 15:5). No humans can cause us to glorify God and empowers for ministry like the Holy Spirit (John 15:26).
Marriage will not completely fill you with the love your heart needs. But if you desire to honor God through marriage, then your desire for marriage is good.
And as I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I’m offering my new book at a reduced price until October 13th. So if you are a Christian woman who wants to help her future husband find her, now is the perfect time to order a copy of Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.