5 Reasons God Hates When We Complain

As Christian men, the Bible is very clear, we must choose to not complain. One way to help us stop complaining is by examining the negative ways it affects us.

Therefore, here are 5 ways complaining will ruin your life as a Christian man.

1. Complaining Amplifies the Problem and Hides the Solution

There are many differences between complaining and seeking counseling (Proverbs 12:15), between complaining and sharing your burdens (Galatians 6:2), between complaining and casting your anxiety onto the Lord (1 Peter 5:7).

You will know the difference by what fruit is being produced (Matthew 7:20). When you are doing something healthy, like sharing an issue with someone else so they can counsel, encourage, and pray with you, the solution to this issue will get clearer. You will walk away with a healthy action plan. You will feel empowered to act biblically.

However, when you are just complaining, it’s like you are digging a hole you are standing in. The more you complain, the deeper you sink. The solution becomes more distant and you feel worse about the problem the more you talk about it.

While it’s healthy to talk with others about your problems, it’s better to not talk at all if you are actually just complaining. Many times silence will allow your internal disturbance to die. The more we talk and complain, the more we magnify the issue (Proverbs 10:19).

2. Complaining Makes You Feel Weak

Complaining is a cancer that rots a man from the inside out. It steals our power and makes us believe we are weak and unable to change our circumstances. Complaining is like labeling yourself as a victim who is at the mercy of others with no escape. It’s admitting, “This person or situation I’m complaining about has beaten me. All I can do now is talk about how I’ve lost.”

This is why gratitude actually makes you so powerful. When you are grateful and positive no matter what bad thing is happening in your life, you are protecting your own autonomy. Gratitude says, “I’m thankful God has given me the power to overcome anything through Christ who strengthens me.”

Complaining, robs you of your God given independence. Complaining makes you believe the lie, “Other people, places, and things control me. I’m weak and powerless against their will over me.”

Thus, rather than complain, God commands us, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

3. Complaining Makes You Look Weak to Others

There are a few people in your life who actually care about you. The vast majority of the world doesn’t care to even hear your complaints. Thus, when you complain, not only are you making yourself feel weak on the inside, but you are also making yourself look weak to others on the outside.

You then become a target for evil people. They know you are a complainer who won’t take action. Even if it’s all subconscious, complaining puts a bullseye on your back for manipulators. While manipulators are not good people, they are proactive people. Unlike a complainer, they don’t just sit there passively feeling bad about their life. Rather, they look for weak people who they can control for their own selfish reasons.

Additionally, when we complain as Christian men, it hurts our witness. Who is going to ask for our help when all we do is complain about our problems? The world is mostly full of complainers. By simply remaining silent and not complaining when things are clearly difficult in our lives, we naturally shine brightly for Christ. As Philippians 2:14-16 explains:

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.”

4. Complaining Repels Problem-Solvers and Attracts Other Complainers

Ironically, those who complain about others end up being surrounded by other complainers. Why is that?

Complaining is like adding fuel to the fire. The more you complain, the more it triggers others to complain, which triggers more complaining from you, which attracts other complainers, and so on. Eventually you are surrounded by an inescapable forest fire of complainers, consuming each other.

As James 3:6 explains, “And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.”

Problem-solvers, however, are repelled by complainers. If you talk about your problems but then you shoot down every solution they offer, eventually they will no longer be willing to listen to you because it will be a waste of time. They will know they aren’t helping you when you always come back to complain again and again.

Solution-focused people surround themselves with other solution-focused people. They have problems and they talk about problems. But they are more interested in solving those issue compared to just voicing their issues to release their internal agitation.

Thus complaining will create an environment that attracts unhealthy people into your life and repels healthy people.

5. Complaining Pushes the Presence of God Away from You

Complaining is a sin, and sin always pushes the presence of God away from us. 1 Corinthians 10:9-10 states, “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer.”

Thus, as men, we must stop complaining. It’s a waste of everyone’s time, especially our own. Even when we’re right, complaining is still wrong.

Through Jesus, we must seek to voice our issues in productive ways with people who actually care about us and have wisdom to help. But we must remain silent when voicing a complaint is fruitless.

Powerful people avoid complaining. They pray, share in healthy ways, work hard, and surrender everything to God as they keep walking forward in faith.