John 15:5,
I’m not claiming there is a formula of actions you need to take to unlock God’s blessings in your life. What I am saying in this article is that generally speaking, God blesses us with good things once we are prepared to use those good things for his glory.
With that in mind, here are 5 things God is often waiting for people to do before he reveals the one to them.
1. Before God Will Reveal The One to You, He Often Waits Until You Have Prepared Your Mind for Action
We often think we are waiting on God, but many times God is waiting on us. The Bible is not full of characters who sat idly, just waiting for God to air-drop blessings. Rather, the Bible is full of God telling people what to do and those people either doing it and being blessed or not doing and reaping the consequences.
These principles directly apply to relationships. Of course not every person who is single and wants to be married is single just because they are not doing enough. But some are. And sometimes this passivity starts in the mind.
Notice what 1 Peter 1:13 states, “Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” If you know you are struggling with inactivity, it could be because you have not prepared your mind for action.
2. Before God Will Reveal The One to You, He Often Waits for You to Relax and Not Stress Out So Much About Finding The One
Pressure often pushes pleasure away for you. The more you want pleasure, the harder it is to attain. The more you pursue it, the faster it flees from you. Pleasure is usually a byproduct of focusing on other things. Pleasure is a result of living a responsible, meaningful life. When you just focus on seeking pleasure, you often neglect responsibility and your purpose and thus pleasure is harder to keep.
The same is true when it comes to wanting the pleasure of meeting the one God has for you. When you are stressed out and overly persistent in seeking a relationship, a relationship becomes that much more elusive to you. But when you just relax and hold it loosely, accepting that a relationship may or may not come to you but you are going to live your life the best way you can no matter what, that’s often when a relationship comes into your life.
In Luke 17:33 (NIV) Jesus said, “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” When it comes to salvation, the “trying” is actually what is defeating you. But when you stop trying to save yourself and you realize only Jesus can save you by grace, that’s when you get saved.
This principle relates to all of life. Of course we need to take action and make good choices. But if you think meeting the one depends all on you, that pressure will actually hinder you from meeting the one. But when you stop trying so hard and you accept only God can bring you to the person he wants for you, you will relax and a relationship will be much more likely to occur in your life.
3. Before God Reveals The One to You, He Often Waits for You to Become Equally Yoked with the Type of Person You Hope to Marry
When an unbeliever meets another unbeliever, they are technically equally yoked because they are both unbelievers. But when a Christian with one foot in the world and one foot out of the world meets an unbeliever, they are unequally yoked. But the issue is that they are kind of unequally yoked with other believers too because they are living a double life.
I’m certainly not saying that to get married you should just fully forsake God and marry an unbeliever. Rather, I’m saying you need to fully leave the world and stop dabbling in relationships with unbelievers.
It could be that God is waiting for you to fully commit to him so you are then equally yoked with the Christian spouse he has for you. As James 4:3-4 states:
You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”
4. Before God Reveals The One to You, He Often Waits Until You Set a Foundation of Contentment in Christ Which God Will Build Your Future Marriage On
When you are unhappy in singleness and you think marriage is the answer to all your problems, you are setting yourself up for a big letdown. Sure, marriage is a blessing and it will bring much happiness into your life. But it can never be a foundational source of happiness because marriage involves two unstable people.
The only way to be consistently happy and content in life is to have Christ as your foundation. If you don’t have a foundation of contentment in Christ, your marriage will crumble when the storms come. But when you are content in Christ and then storms come in marriage, your contentment in Christ will strengthen you through the storms so you can make it to the other side and experience joy together once more. But without Christ, this is not possible.
As Jesus said in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” If you try to make marriage your vine and happiness in Jesus the branch, everything is backwards and you will fail. But when you know Jesus is the vine and you are a branch that is dependent on him, you can keep bearing fruit in marriage through hard times because Christ is your ultimate source of power and pleasure.
5. Before God Reveals The One to You, He Often Waits for You to Live Your Life for Him Rather Than Just Waiting Around for Him to Reveal The One to You
Where are all the godly singles who love Jesus and are serving the Lord? They are out there loving Jesus and serving the Lord. If you are not loving God and serving him, you won’t see other singles who are doing this. God is often waiting for you to live your life for his glory so he can bring someone alongside of you who is doing the same thing as you.
As 2 Timothy 2:22 instructs, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
