The more we desire something, the more we worry about getting it. Sometimes the worry can get so bad, so all-consuming, so unbearable, that we actually just want to give up the desire itself so we can escape all the anxiety attached to this desire.
Thankfully, when it comes to worrying about a relationship, there is a better way. If God has called you to marriage one day, he doesn’t want you to worry about relationships and he doesn’t want you to give up your relationship desires. Rather, he wants you to have a biblically balanced view on relationships where you are open to finding the love of your life and yet not anxious throughout the process of locating this person.
Therefore, if you struggle with worrying about relationships, here are 5 things God will do to help you.
And if you are a Christian single person who enjoys learning deep, practical, and biblical principles about relationships, I made AGW University specifically for you. And for those of you who enroll before the August 23rd (at 11:59pm) deadline, I’m also giving you a bundle of bonus courses, 3 months of one-on-one email coaching with me, and a scholarship.
1. God Will Let Your Worry Get Worse So You Know You Have to Give Up Control and Find Peace Through Embracing His Plan
Sometimes our strength works against us. Sometimes our ability to endure is a curse. Sometimes we need to give up sooner.
In other words, when you use your tenacity and boldness to endure things God does not want you to endure, you are missing out on the peace that comes through submission to his will. This is why God will always allow our worry to get worse if we do not turn to him in humility. He wants us to submit to him so he can exalt us at the proper time,
1 Peter 4:6-7 states, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” If you don’t “humble yourself” and if you don’t “cast all your anxieties on him,” in love God will let you be humbled by the anxieties you are refusing to cast onto him.
If you are being utterly crushed through your worries about relationships, this means it’s time to give up control and fully trust God’s plan, whatever that is or is not.
2. God Will Help You Accept the Very Real Possibility of the Outcome You Hope Does Not Happen
“No, I just can’t accept that God would call me to singleness. No, I just don’t believe a loving God would refuse to give me the marriage I always longed for. No, I will refuse to be happy until God takes away my singleness and gives me a relationship.”
If you cannot accept God’s will, even if it is not what you want, you will always be tormented by worry. Through radical submission, even submitting to God when your hope doesn’t happen, you open your heart so the peace of God can come flooding in (Philippians 4:6-7, Philippians 4:10-13, 2 Corinthians 12:8-10).
Additionally, when you are truly willing to receive God’s “no,” this also means you are also ready to receive God’s “yes.” If you are only willing to hear what you want to hear, this means you are idolizing this desire and currently too immature to handle it.
Through accepting the very real possibility of not having a relationship, you are actually much more prepared to receive the relationship God probably does want to give you.
3. God Will Show You What Actions to Take So You Can Then Be at Peace in the Knowledge that You Did What You Needed to Do
Worry is rooted in the belief that we can do something about a desire that we have not yet done. If there is something you have not done to receive the blessing God wants to give you, then this healthy pressure inside of you is meant to motivate you to actions.
Worry, however, is when we keep putting pressure on ourselves to get what we want even though there is nothing left for us to do except wait for God to produce the results he wants to produce.
For example, a farmer will have some healthy tension and pressure inside of himself until his seeds have been planted. He can rest easy once he knows his seeds are in the ground and he’s done all the wise things he can do to receive a good harvest. If he worries about the future at this point, it’s because he’s not trusting the Lord (Matthew 6:25-34).
The sluggard, however, lacks this healthy pressure and thus is not motivated to do the right things at the right time to receive the needed blessings (Proverbs 6:6-8, Proverbs 20:4).
God doesn’t want you to be a person who lacks worry because they are lazy and just doesn’t care. And God also doesn’t want you to worry because you think it all depends on you. Rather, God wants you to be a responsible person who does what is needed and can then leave the results to him.
4. God Will Give You Unmistakable Clarity When Someone Is Not the One
Much of the relationship worry that occurs stems from the fear that you will make a mistake and marry the wrong person. If you are living in sin, neglecting prayer, and sowing to please the flesh rather than the Spirit, then you should worry about ending up in an unhappy relationship (Galatians 6:7-8).
Proverbs 1:23 (NIV) explains, “Repent at my rebuke! Then I will pour out my thoughts to you, I will make known to you my teachings.” If you are repenting of sin, spending time in prayer, and doing your best to follow the Holy Spirit, God won’t let you marry the wrong person.
5. God Will Give You Unmistakable Clarity When You Meet the One
Perhaps the deepest root to worrying about relationships during singleness is, “How will I know who God wants me to marry?”
I don’t know the exact way God will reveal the one to you. He will certainly use his word. The Spirit will certainly give you confirmation in your heart. And the circumstances will certainly confirm what you feel about this person. However, each of our stories is different. The way God reveals the one to you will be slightly different than the way he will reveal the one to someone else.
What is true for everyone, however, is that if you are genuinely seeking to follow the Lord, God will not let you miss the right person he has for you. Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
I created AGW University for Christian singles of any age and from any background. In these biblical relationship courses, I don’t give you a rigid blueprint to follow. Rather, I give you a blueprint of principles that each person can apply to their unique circumstance. And through email coaching, I’m able to personally help you apply this content to your individual relationship variables.
The deadline to enroll is August 23rd at 11:59pm. For more information about this opportunity, along with the scholarship and all the other bonuses, you can click here to learn more about AGW University.