Here are 5 things that will happen to confirm that you truly heard God correctly about that certain relationship you believe he spoke to you about.
1. When You Truly Hear God About a Relationship, You Won’t Be Confused About What He Said
I’ve gotten countless emails and questions over the years about dreams and relationships. Someone will have a dream about someone they like, they will share the details with me, and then they will ask me what God is saying through this dream.
I’m not saying that God can never speak through a dream to you about a relationship. I just believe in the principle that when God truly speaks he knows how to make us understand what he is saying. If you have a weird dream about someone and you wake up confused, it’s highly unlikely that was from God. It was probably just your brain taking your thoughts from the day before and forming odd thoughts while you sleep.
So when you truly hear God say something to you about a relationship, whether that be during your prayer time, a dream, through studying the word, or through a particular sermon – you won’t be more confused after this experience. You will have a greater clarity on what God wants you to do. “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace,” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
2. When You Hear God Correctly About a Relationship, His Personal Words to You Will Never Contradict His Eternal Words to Us All
We need to be humble enough to all admit that when God speaks to us about our personal lives, it is a subjective experience unlike when God speaks to all Christians through his word.
God may have really told you to move to a different city. Or he may not have. God really may have told you to buy that car. Or he may not have. God really may have told you to donate to that person in need. Or he may not have. These types of things are not wrong or right to do in all situations. No one can tell you if you heard God correctly or incorrectly when it comes to subjective choices like this.
But there are different types of choices in life that require us to obey what God has already clearly said to everyone in his word. God will never tell you to marry an unbeliever because he already told us not to do that in his word (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39). God will not tell you to have premarital sex with someone because God has already told us not do that in his word (1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:4).
So if you truly heard God about a certain relationship, what you heard can never contradict what God has already clearly said in the Bible.
For more on this, you may want to review my article called 5 Things that Will Happen When God Is Really Sending You a Sign.
3. When You Hear God Correctly About a Relationship, This Will Be Preceded By a Willingness to Hear What You Don’t Want to Hear God Say
Before God speaks, he often waits until we are truly willing to listen to what he has to say. This principle can be seen in how Jesus responded to the Pharisees. For example, in Matthew 21:23-27, it says:
And when he entered the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came up to him as he was teaching, and said, ‘By what authority are you doing these things, and who gave you this authority?’ Jesus answered them, ‘I also will ask you one question, and if you tell me the answer, then I also will tell you by what authority I do these things. The baptism of John, from where did it come? From heaven or from man?’ And they discussed it among themselves, saying, ‘If we say, “From heaven,” he will say to us, “Why then did you not believe him?” But if we say, “From man,” we are afraid of the crowd, for they all hold that John was a prophet.’ So they answered Jesus, ‘We do not know.’ And he said to them, ‘Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.’”
Jesus trapped them like they were attempting to trap him. If Jesus said his authority was from man, it would undercut his claim to be the Son of God and he would be lying. But if he said his authority came from God, they would kill him, which is eventually what happened. But since his time to be crucified had not yet came, he didn’t answer them.
The point I’m making here is that Jesus didn’t just answer their question plainly because he knew they had a hidden motive to trap him. They weren’t willing to truly receive what he had to say. As Luke 11:53-54 states, “As he went away from there, the scribes and the Pharisees began to press him hard and to provoke him to speak about many things, lying in wait for him, to catch him in something he might say.”
If you are unwilling to hear God’s no, it will be unlikely that God will speak his yes. Even if God wants to speak, you won’t be able to trust what you hear because you will know in your heart you are not really willing to hear anything God will say. If you are only willing to hear what you want God to say, even when God does say what you want him to, you will won’t trust it was really God.
So when you really hear God speak to you about a certain relationship, this usually happens only after you get to that place in your heart were you are truly willing to hear whatever God wants to say.
For more on this, you may want to read 3 Differences Between God’s Voice and Voice in Your Head.
4. When You Hear God Correctly About a Relationship, This Will Always Help and Not Hurt Your Walk with Him
When you hear God accurately about someone, it could assist your connection with this person. On the other hand, when you hear God accurately, this could hurt your relationship with this person – meaning that God could truly be telling you to let this person go.
But no matter what God says, you can be sure that his true words to you will always assist your walk with him. If God tells you to pursue a relationship with someone, this will be because God knows this relationship will assist your relationship with him. If God tells you to let go of a relationship with someone, this too will be because God knows letting this relationship go will help your walk with him.
In fact, when you read 1 Corinthians 7 in context, Paul’s goal is not to convince all Christians to be married or to convince all Christians to be single. He tells us all to choose singleness or marriage based upon which one will help us honor the Lord. God equips some to serve him best in singleness and God equips some to serve him best in marriage (1 Corinthians 7:7).
God will never sacrifice his relationship with you so you can have a relationship with someone else. But God could tell you to sacrifice your relationship with someone else to strengthen your relationship with him. Each situation and relationship will be different. But when you truly hear God about a human relationship, your relationship with God will always be benefited.
As Philippians 3:8 states, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
5. If You Heard God Correctly About that Relationship, What You Heard Will Actually Happen
The easiest way to know if you truly heard God accurately is to simply observe what happens next. If you heard God say something but then it doesn’t happen, God didn’t say it. As Jeremiah 1:12 says, “The Lord said to me, ‘You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.’”
God doesn’t just speak his word. God accomplishes the words that he speaks. If the words you heard are not accomplished, then God did not speak them. For, “[My word] will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it,” (Isaiah 55:11, NIV).
For more on this topic, you may want to review my article called What Does the Bible Say About Signs from God?