What makes a Christian woman want to date a man?
Of course each woman is different, but as Christians they do have a similar value system. A biblical Christian woman will not just want a long-term boyfriend; rather, she will be looking for a man she can eventually marry one day. So even if a Christian woman is attracted to you, if she doesn’t see you as husband material, she will not date you.
Therefore, if you want Christian women to want to date you, you have to exhibit husband qualities even though you are still in your singleness. If you think you can start acting like a godly husband once you meet a godly woman, it will be too late and you will miss your chance. You need to already be showing certain qualities by the time this type of woman meets you for the first time if you want her to like you.
Therefore, here are 5 things that will make Christian women want to date you.
1. You Need to Be Physically Healthy
If you are someone with a chronic illness that you can’t do anything about, then this point does not apply to you.
I’m talking to able-bodied men for this point. If you are below the average when it comes to health, you are drastically cutting your chances of finding a woman who wants to date you. Why is this true?
First off, physical health is something that is directly in your control. What you eat and how much exercise you get is a direct reflection of your personal level of discipline. Therefore, when you don’t look healthy, this is a sign to a woman that you lack discipline.
Additionally, as we will talk more about in the points ahead, a husband has a lot of responsibility once he becomes the leader of a household (Ephesians 5:25-29, Ephesians 6:4, 1 Timothy 3:4-5). Christian women who want to submit to their future husbands (Ephesians 5:22) are assessing a man’s ability to fulfill his role as the leader; and when you can’t even take care of your own body when you are single, this shows her it’s unlikely you will thrive in taking care of the family.
Lastly, most men are attracted to healthy looking women. Therefore, if you are not healthy, you will not be attractive to the type of women you are attracted to.
You don’t have to be a bodybuilder or a professional athlete. All of us have unique bodies, some shorter, some taller, some bigger, some thinner. So don’t complain about the things that are not in your control. Rather, steward well what is in your control. I’m not talking about achieving an unrealistic physical appearance that will take an unrealistic amount of time to achieve. Eat right, get exercise, don’t abuse your body with substances – and then you’ll be fine.
2. You Need to Be Financially Independent and Capable (I.E. Provider)
One of the core roles of a Christian husband is “provider” (Ephesians 5:28-29). As a single man, you don’t need to already have the income that would be necessary to provide for a full family. When God leads you to the right woman, you two will be able to work hard together and grow your income over time.
What a Christian woman really needs to see is that you are capable of providing if you two were to get married one day and have children. The first step towards that is being financially independent yourself. It’s hard to get a date with a mature Christian woman if you are still living with your parents or don’t have a job.
It’s fine if you are committed to playing in the band right now or pursuing your dreams of becoming a professional artist. Just know if that’s all you have going on right now on the career front, most Christian women will not be interested in dating you. If you’re okay with that, you do you.
Now, if you are in the band or pursuing your art while also working on a practical career path that can pay the bills while you try to generate an income in the way you would most prefer, that is respectable. A Christian women will date you.
In summary, you either need to have a good job or have evidence in your life that you are a hard worker and would figure out a way to do whatever is necessary for your family to have what they need to have when they need it.
3. You Need a Backbone (I.E. Protector)
You may have heard that a Christian husband is called to be the “protector” in the marriage and family. But what does that really mean?
Yes, there is a physical element to this protection. If you are married and there’s something happening in the middle of the night, your wife is going to want you to be able to handle that. But there’s a deeper way that a husband should be the protector.
The vast majority of our role as “protector” will occur in nonphysical ways. When the pastor at church starts going rogue and misusing church funds, will you say anything? When your mother-in-law is manipulating your wife, will you intervene? When the school is teaching your children things you don’t want them to be taught, will you know how to fight this? When the restaurant completely screws up her order and then doesn’t want to make it right, will you sit their passively?
A Christian woman wants to be with a man who has a backbone. You don’t need to have jacked biceps. You don’t need to be an MMA fighter. You don’t have to be able to snipe a target from 100 yards out. You just need to show her that you are a man who is capable of not being pushed around by a world that is constantly looking for weak people to prey on.
She wants a man who fits with 1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
4. You Need to Be an Initiator (I.E. Pursuer)
When there’s a problem in the relationship, will you wait for her to come to you? Or will you go to her? If you want to be a man who leads, you don’t get to pick and choose when you want to lead. You need to initiate whatever needs to be initiated.
The first sign to her that you have these qualities will be your pursuit of her. When you initiate romantic interest, you check the first box on her list. Almost all Christian women want a man who will pursue to get the relationship started.
But it can’t end there. Even if you two get married one day, you have to keep pursuing your wife. Of course she needs to come to you if there is an issue. She needs to sporadically let you know she enjoys you without you needing to always initiate every romantic encounter. But overall, if you want to be the leader in the relationship and you want your wife to submit as the Bible instructs, you need to lead as the Bible instructs. Leadership in the Bible is about being last and it’s about putting other’s needs above yourself (Mark 10:42-45).
Therefore, if you lack the ability to initiate things, she will not see you as a potential husband.
5. You Need Biblical Wisdom (I.E. Priest)
A Christian husband is called to lead his family spiritually. This doesn’t mean he needs to be more spiritually mature than his wife or know more of the Bible than her. Rather, it means that he is going to take it upon himself to make sure the spiritual needs of the family are being met.
And more than biblical knowledge, a woman wants a man who is biblically wise. Wisdom is not just about knowing the Bible. Wisdom is about applying the Bible (James 3:13). She wants your choices to be mature and biblically inspired.
You don’t need to be a seminary theologian to be attractive to a Christian woman. Rather, she wants to see your life is in alignment with the Scriptures.
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