A hard relationship is not necessarily the wrong relationship. Confusion is not always a sign God is saying no. And while the man is the pursuer, this does not mean you will get to sit there and do nothing while your future husband does all the hard parts of making this relationship come into existence.
With that said, sometimes a woman can press too hard to make a relationship work that is simply not God’s will for her.
So here are 5 things you will not need to do when God is revealing your future husband to you.
1. You Will Not Need to Chase Him or Play Games to Get Him to Like You
When a relationship doesn’t work out, sometimes we can look back in hindsight, critiquing all kinds of little things that really have nothing to do with why this relationship didn’t occur. For example, you might say to yourself, “I shouldn’t have made that joke about his sweater,” or “I should have texted him more” or “I should have texted him less.”
While I think it’s fine to learn from the past and make subtle adjustments, little mistakes like these are not the reason a relationship didn’t work out. If this man really was the one for you, an ill-advised joke, texting too little, or texting too much would not cause him to stop pursuing you. If something like that did stop him from pursuing you, the relationship was never going to last anyways.
When God reveals your future husband, this man will have a desire for you that will push through the normal little speedbumps that occur in real life (1 Peter 4:8).
2. You Will Not Need to Give Him Husband Privileges Before He Has Made a Husband’s Commitment
Perhaps the dumbest statement I hear most often from men when I tell people not to have premarital sex is, “Well you have to go on a test drive before you marry a woman.” If a man thinks “good sex” will keep a marriage going for the next 50 years, that man is completely unfit to be a husband. Great sex will not produce a great relationship. A great relationship will produce great sex.
A man who requires you to give him what doesn’t belong to him is showing you he is not fit to be your future husband. The man God has for you will know he needs to marry you before he will get access to the benefits that belong between a husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7:4, Ruth 4:13).
3. You Will Not Need to Change Yourself for Him
As Christians, we are all on the path of sanctification (Romans 6:19). This means we are learning, maturing, and repenting more and more as we continue our walk with the Holy Spirit. So in that sense, we should always be changing.
But when you need to change your true personality so that someone will accept you, this person is not who you want to marry. A healthy marriage is not about shaping the other person into your own image or into the idol you have chosen to worship. Rather, a healthy marriage is about helping each other reveal the trueness of who God made each other to be. A healthy marriage is about bearing God’s image more and more accurately as we are sanctified (2 Corinthians 3:18).
When you meet the man God has for you, this relationship will be a place where you are free to blossom into who you truly are. You will not be required to pretend you are something you are not.
4. You Will Not Need to Wait an Obnoxious Amount of Time for Him to Pursue You
You might need to wait a little longer than you would prefer. He might need more time than you need. But if a man truly is the man God has for you, he will not be apathetic, uninterested, or openly rejecting you.
Sometimes a woman waits too long because she has attached her hope for marriage to one particular man. Sometimes it’s not that you are truly in love with that one man you keep waiting for. Rather, you are tempted to keep waiting because you believe he is your only chance for marriage.
If God does have marriage in your future, you will not need to wait an unwise amount of time for this man to pursue you (Ruth 3:11, 18).
Related Article: 4 Signs God Wants You to Keep Waiting for That Man
5. You Will Not Need to Compromise on Your Relationship with God
When a relationship is not from God, you will be forced to decide between your love for God and your love for a man. However, when a relationship truly is from the Lord, your choice to obey God will be intertwined with your choice to be in a relationship with this man that is pursuing you. It will be God’s will for you to be together because this relationship will help both of your walks with God.
1 Peter 3:7, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”
Here’s a related article called 4 Biblical Ways God Will Show You Who Is Not Your Future Husband.
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