Are you single because you are too accomplished, too educated, and too intelligent as a woman? Are men intimated by you?
Here are 5 signs your success and smarts as a woman are keeping men away from you.
1. If You Are Around Insecure, Weak Men, Then It’s Possible Your Intelligence and Success Are Scaring These Guys Away from You
In point 1, I’m going to affirm that it is very possible that some of you are struggling to find a good relationship because you are so smart and accomplished that men are intimated by you. I do believe some men do feel threatened by a woman who is intellectual, educated, successful in her career, makes good money, and has personal goals.
While I do absolutely believe you might be struggling to find a relationship because you intimate men, I will say that this will not be an issue if you are around the right type of guys. I’m not saying you need to find guys who are just as intellectual, educated, and accomplished in their careers. Rather, I’m saying you simply need to avoid weak men who are not validated in their masculinity (1 Corinthians 16:13).
In other words, a man would only be threatened by you for superficial reasons like this if he was already insecure with himself.
Contrary to what you might have been taught about men, they actually don’t even look at things like your education or career success as variables when they are considering dating you. It’s not a negative to have these qualities. But it’s not much of a positive either when it comes to men assessing their romantic interest in you.
Women are often shocked by this because they do partly assess men by these standards. But men don’t really care about your education or earning capabilities because when it comes to the roles in marriage, they feel like it’s their job to provide (Ephesians 5:25-30). They are not looking for a co-provider. It’s a bonus if you can contribute. But it’s not a deal breaker if you can’t. Rather, they are looking for a wife who can offer the emotional comfort, feminine beauty, and motherly qualities for future children that men are incapable of adding on their own.
So your intelligence or career success are not going to scare a godly man away because those things are not major variables that he even looks at in the first place when looking for a wife. Rather, he is scared away if he feels like you can’t fulfill what he’s hoping his wife will fulfill in his life.
If you want more on this topic, you can read my article called Men Go Crazy for Women Who Do THIS!
In summary of point 1, I do really believe some men will be scared away by your achievements as a woman. I know many of you really have met men who are scared away by your success. However, a strong, godly man who knows who he is in Christ will not be threatened by you.
So in the next 4 points, I’m going to talk about some other ways that your intellect and accomplishments might be keeping you single.
2. If Your Knowledge and Money Are Making Your Prideful, Then You Are Pushing Men Away from You
1 Timothy 6:17 (NIV), “Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.”
I’m not saying all smart, financially successive women are prideful. However, I have noticed a general trend when comparing the sexes as a whole when it comes to the motivation for financially success: Men usually try to earn enough money so they can provide for a woman. Women, however, often try to earn enough money so they don’t need a man. Men are usually motivated to get more money so they can be depended on by a woman. Women often try to get more money so they don’t need to depend on a man.
Therefore, when a woman does accomplish financial independence, sometimes she can become prideful towards men in general because she feels like she doesn’t need a man. And to be clear, I think it’s great that we live in a society where women can provide for themselves. I’m not saying a woman should need to depend on a man. I have no issue with a woman being financially independent and successful!
My point here is that women need to be careful that their acquisition of more education and money is not giving them a superior attitude towards men. Would you want to date a man who felt like he was better than you because he was more educated and made more money? A man doesn’t want to date a woman who feels this way towards him either.
Your intellect and money will not be an issue for a strong man unless you make it an issue.
3. If You Are Assuming Men Are Intimated By You Because of Your Abilities and Achievements, You Are Probably Pushing Men Away from You
1 Corinthians 8:1-3 (NLT), “But while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church. Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.”
What if a man had an inner belief that he was going to intimidate you because he was so good looking? What if he said, “I know I’m extremely handsome and I know some women can be threatened by that. So I hope that isn’t an issue for you?” The fact that he thought that this would be an issue for you would actually be the real issue.
Likewise, if you have an inner belief that a man is going to be threatened by you because you have a doctorate degree or because you have one of the “C” level titles at your company, the belief that you think he would be intimated by you is actually the real issue.
Ironically, a woman’s belief that a man will look down on her because she is so smart and wealthy is sometimes rooted in her tendency to look down on him because of his lack of education or wealth.
4. If You Believe You Could Never Be Attracted to a Man Who Is Less Educated or Who Makes Less Money, You Are Probably Pushing Men Away from You
While some women have a subconscious superiority over men because they are more educated or make more money than the average guy, some women just consciously embrace this belief and say, “I will only date a man who makes the same or more money than me.”
This is called hypergamy, which is “the action of marrying or forming a relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background.”
Likewise, when a woman reads her Bible and sees that a man should lead in marriage (Ephesians 5:22-24), she sometimes believes this means the man must be a better leader and be more spiritually mature. But that’s not biblically required. A man is not called to lead a woman because he is better than a woman. Rather, the roles of a husband and wife are both equally important and God has simply delegated them to the man and woman through his design (Genesis 1:27).
All that to say, if you believe a man has to have more skill than you, this could keep you single. Skill and character are two different things. Look for a man of character. Skill won’t stand up to the fires that life will throw at you in marriage. Godly character will (Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4).
5. If Your Career Goals or Current Career Commitments Are Causing You to Be Unable to Fulfill the Role of a Wife and Mother, You Are Pushing Men Away from You
As I said in point 1, your career is not going to be a major positive or a major negative when it comes to a man assessing his romantic interest in you. The one caveat to that statement is if your career is preventing you from having the time and energy to fulfill your womanly roles in the church and the home.
Biblically, it is not wrong for a woman to have a career. The Proverbs 31 woman, for example, clearly had entrepreneurial abilities that she was commended for (Proverbs 31:13-19). However, as we discussed earlier, the roles of the husband and wife are equally important but different. Barring some uncommon variable that would prevent the man from working, God has made the man to work for the family (Genesis 3:17-19) and the woman to manage the home life for the family (Titus 2:3-5).
Of course they are a team (1 Peter 3:7) and thus there will certainly be overlap (Galatians 6:2). Much more could be said about the roles in marriage. The point here is that there are roles in the church and family according to the Bible. Thus, if a woman’s career is hindering her from having the time or energy to fulfill her roles, a man is not going to be attracted to her and want to marry her.
A man wants to be with a woman who can add those things to his life that he cannot do himself. He can do what a man is called to do without you in his life. He cannot, however, have the benefits of a wife for himself and the benefits of a mother for his children unless he marries a woman.
Thus, even if it’s something good like education or careers goals, if anything would prevent you from fulfilling the role of a wife and mother, this will keep men away from you.
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