Here are five undeniable signs that mean God does want you to pursue a relationship.
1. If You Possess the Biblical Signs that Align with Having the Gift of Marriage Rather than the Gift of Singleness, This Means You Should Pursue Marriage Rather than Singleness
I can’t promise you what will happen if you try to be in a relationship. I’m not telling you these are undeniable signs you will get the exact person you want, when you want, and in the way that you want. You may get to be with that man or woman if you try, or you may be single the rest of your life.
However, in Scripture, there are clear signs that mean you should try to pursue marriage rather than intentionally rejecting all relationship opportunities so you can remain single. For example, Paul wasn’t single because he never met the right lady. Rather, he intentionally tried to remain single and felt called to be single on purpose. But he also knew not everyone had the same desires and gifts as him (1 Corinthians 7:7).
So if you possess the biblical signs that you should pursue marriage – like a strong sexual desire (1 Corinthians 7:1-9), a desire to be married (1 Corinthians 7:36), and a sadness about being single (1 Corinthians 7:40) – then this means God does indeed want you to at least try to be married rather than intentionally trying to remain single.
For more on this, here’s a related article: 3 Signs God Is Calling You to Pursue a Life of Marriage Rather than Singleness
2. If You Have the Faith to Hope for a Relationship that Might Not Come True, You Should Pursue It
When it comes to receiving good blessings from God, there is a false idea among many Christians that you must know before it happens to receive it. For example, people feel like they need God to tell them, “That person you just met today is your future spouse.”
This is not how God usually operates. Rather than tell you the future, he will usually give you a healthy hope for a particular future that will empower you to pursue it even though it might not come true.
As Proverbs 13:12 states, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” It seems these two outcomes always come packaged together in the realm of possibility. If you want the possibility of being with someone, you also have to open yourself up to the possibility of it not happening.
Rather than give you an unbreakable promise that someone is going to be your future spouse, God will give you a healthy hope that maybe this person could be your future spouse and it’s worth the risk to try to find out.
3. If It Would Not Be Sinful to Pursue This Relationship and You Really Want to Pursue It, You Should Pursue It
It’s very important to recognize the need for personal desire when it comes to biblical romantic relationships. Marriage is a biblical option for those who want it and not a biblical command for all Christians. So God will speak through your personal desires when it comes to romance.
If you don’t want to be with someone, God doesn’t want you with that person. Of course God may lead you to give someone a chance so your feelings may change. But if you never want to be with someone, then this is a sign you should not be with this person.
If you really want to be with someone and the relationship would not be sinful, then you should try. It’s not wrong. Of course if you know this person does not feel the same way then you don’t need to try. But oftentimes God will just give you a strong feeling for someone and then he will let that strong feeling motivate you to pursue something more.
As 1 Corinthians 7:36 states, “If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.”
4. If There’s No Other Way to Know God’s Will About This Relationship Besides Pursuing It, Then This Means You Should Pursue It
Those who wait to act until they know God’s will about the future are those who are always frozen in the present.
Many people think that it’s a sign of faith when they are passionate about knowing what God’s will is for a particular relationship. They meet someone they like and then they cry out to God, “Lord, please tell me if this person is the one or not?” In one way, however, this is actually a sign that you lack faith. When you need to know the outcome before you take any actions, this is a sign you don’t trust God enough to step into the unknown with him.
Remember what faith really is, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1, NIV). If you see, you can’t have faith for it. You can only have faith when there is a lack of visible assurance for the thing you hope for.
Therefore, if you really want to know God’s will about a particular relationship and God is not revealing that will to you, this usually means he wants you to take a step forward so he can then show you his will through what actually happens in reality.
5. If You Meet Someone that You Love, They Love You, and You Both Want to Honor the Lord in Marriage Together, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Pursue Marriage with This Person
Every now and then I get emails saying something like, “My boyfriend and I are both Christians. We love the Lord and we love each other. We really want to get married and serve the Lord together. Is this God’s will or not?”
I will never tell someone what God’s will is for them unless it’s plainly written in Scripture. I’m not a fortune teller. However, what I do say to people like this is that you’ve basically answered your own question. If you love someone, they love you, and you both are prepared to obey the Scriptures about the rules for marriage, why wouldn’t God want you to get married?
Yes, God sovereignly brings you to the person he has for you. And marriage is going to be your choice. If you want to make the choice to marry someone and the relationship is biblical, do it. Marriage pleases the Lord, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
