Matthew 19:4-8
Here are five unusual things that often happen when God begins to join a Christian man and woman together.
I also wanted to quickly let you know there is only one more week to enroll in AGW University. This is where I offer in-depth biblical relationship training courses specifically designed for Christian singles who want to prepare well for their future marriage while they are still in their season of singleness. In addition to these 4 relationship courses, which is a total of 33 individual classes, all with video and written material, I’m also offering 3 months of one-on-one email coaching with me as a free bonus for anyone who enrolls before the 8/30/2020 deadline, which is next Sunday at 11:59pm (EST). Here’s what one of my most recent students said as his email coaching experience with me was coming to a close:
As always, I’d love to hear if you have any thoughts on anything I’ve typed out here. But, my main goal is to share what I learned and say thank you for making this course. As someone who didn’t have many of these conversations with my dad and not having believers in my family I could talk with, it was valuable for me to hear this, especially the practical advice, from you.”
If you would like to learn more about this unique experience, along with the $50 scholarship opportunity, feel free to click here to visit AGW University.
1. When God Is Joining a Christian Man and Woman Together, Their Desire Will Be to Experience God’s Original Design for Marriage
Notice that I’m using the phrase, “When God joins a man and woman together.” The covenant bond of marriage is authenticated by God himself when a man and woman commit to being a husband and wife to one another. But unbelievers can also choose to make this decision. What I am talking about in this article, however, is that process God puts a Christian woman and a Christian man through when he is the one leading them to pursue marriage together.
Not every relationship that leads to marriage was done God’s way. And there are always consequences when we disobey the word of God. But when God is the one joining a Christian woman and man together, one unique trait they will possess is a desire to reject the world’s ideas for relationships and rediscover God’s original design for relationships.
Sin has corrupted everything good God made, but through the gospel God seeks to redeem what has been lost (Romans 8:19-22). Primarily this means he has come to redeem sinners, but through the redemption of the human heart God also seeks to restore the other good things that have been tainted because of sin, like marriage. Notice in Matthew 19:4-8 what Jesus said:
[Jesus] answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to him, ‘Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.’”
Notice Jesus’s emphasis on going back to the “beginning” to rediscover what God originally wanted before the fall took place. God allowed Moses to create laws to deal with the corrupted human heart. But through Jesus God’s solution is no longer to work with the brokenness caused by sin but to restore everything back to the way God first intended it to be.
As Jesus said, “from the beginning it was not so.” When God is joining two Christians together and preparing them for marriage, he will put a desire on their hearts to go back to the beginning and learn what God originally wanted for relationships so they can experience God’s best together.
To the watching world this will look unusual, but this couple will know they are called to follow God and not man.
2. When God Is Joining a Man and Woman Together, They Will Have a Growing Desire to Serve One Another Out of Love and Not Duty
The usual relationship pattern for people who are not following Jesus is to strike a deal with the person they are with, “Let’s do what we can to both get what we want. I’ll give you this if you give me that.” But when God is joining a man and woman together, he will empower them to a much higher form of love and commitment. They will have a willingness to mutually sacrifice and serve one another.
Notice what Proverbs 31:10-12 states, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” A Christian wife loves her husband by making sure she is doing him good and not harm.
Likewise, a Christian husband is called to sacrificially love his wife like Christ loves us. For in Ephesians 5:25 it states, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Jesus did not strike a deal with us and say that he will only love us if we do this or that. Rather, as Romans 5:10 explains, “For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.”
Marriage requires an immense amount of sacrifice, but a godly couple will gladly and willingly sacrifice for one another out of the genuine love they have for each other. The Bible does lay out specific roles and tasks a husband and wife are required to do in marriage so they do not break God’s commands, but this obedience to God’s command to sacrificially serve one another is their joy to obey.
When God joins you to the one he has planned for you to marry, your duty to serve your spouse will be your delight.
3. When God Joins You to Your Future Spouse, You Will Willingly Let Go of the Former Healthy Attachments You Once Had
Marriage is meant to change your other relationships in life. A Christian husband and wife still need other people, they are still called to honor their father and mother, and they must never try to make their spouse their everything in life. But Genesis 2:24 does say, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
The joining of a man and woman includes the separation of that man and woman from others in certain ways. Traditionally on a woman’s wedding day, her father symbolically walks her down the aisle and “gives her away” to her husband. When God joins you with your future spouse, there is a “leaving and cleaving” process that must occur.
While it is normal for there to be some sadness about the changes that will occur in other relationships in your life, ultimately it will be your joy to prioritize your spouse when God finally joins you two together. Your relationship with your friends, with your brothers and sisters, with the opposite sex, and especially with your parents must change once you get married. Of course these people are still important people in your life, but they must no longer be your first priority. They must no longer be the first person you go to when a need or concern arrives in your life. Now your spouse must play that role if you hope to live as one like God intends.
In Proverbs 31:28-29, we see an example of how a godly husband sets his wife apart from all others. It states, “[Her husband] praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” Notice how a godly man will only have eyes for his wife. When he marries, his relationship with every other woman changes.
Obviously this man’s wife is not literally the best woman who has ever existed. Rather, to him, because she is specifically his wife, she is the best woman. He views her with the most value and worth and desire because God has joined them together.
In the process of forming that special union meant only for that one husband and that one wife, God has separated them from everyone else.
4. When God Joins a Man and Woman Together, Their Main Affection for One Another Will Flow Out of Their Relationship with God
When the world looks at a godly couple, they should think it is unusual and odd because unlike the world, this couple will not make each other the center of their relationship with each other. Rather, a godly woman and man know that Christ must be at the center of everything in their life, including their relationships.
Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) states, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” A godly couple loves the other person’s personality traits, their physical appearance, and their inner character – but what they love most about the other person is that person’s walk with God.
5. When God Is Joining a Man and Woman Together, They Will Know It Was “a God Thing” that They are Together Now
It doesn’t happen often, but as Christians we will experience those moments in life where we know it was God, and God alone, who arranged these perfect set of scenarios that caused the exact outcome God wanted to happen. Oftentimes Christians call this “a God thing.”
When God joins a man and woman together, it will be unlike when unbelievers are making choices on their own instead of being led by the Spirit like God calls Christians to do. When you meet the one God has for you and he begins to join you two together, you will know it is “a God thing.”
As Proverbs 19:14 explains, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, open enrollment for AGW University will close next Sunday at 11:59pm (EST). I’m also giving everyone a $50 scholarship who enrolls before this deadline. You also get access to the private Facebook group, which is where all the Christian single men and women in AGW University can connect and get to know one another in a supportive community environment. There are 500 AGW University members in this private group thus far.
Here’s another snippet from an email I got from one of my current students. She said:
Hey Mark!
Well, I took your advice to give online dating another shot. I was very surprised to find a really solid Christian man that I connected with. We have a lot in common and have been talking for the past couple of weeks (video and text). I feel more peaceful and secure than I typically do at the start of a new relationship, which I take as a good sign.”
For more information about all the courses, email coaching, private Facebook group, the $50 scholarship, and my newest course all about online dating which I’m adding in completely for free, click here to visit AGW University.
