Proverbs 29:1
Here are 4 common signs God will use to tell you to stop trying to date someone even though you really want to date this person.
1. If This Person Keeps Allowing Your Relationship to Get Right Up to the Point of Commitment But Then Keeps Pulling Away, God Is Probably Telling You to Stop Trying to Date This Person
It’s normal for relationships to hit speed bumps along the way. But there’s a difference between a relationship speed bump and a relationship roadblock.
A relationship speed bump is when a man and woman have to deal with an issue before being able to proceed. When an issue like this comes up, it’s kind of like God saying, “Hey, slow down a little bit and deal with this issue first before proceeding.”
A relationship roadblock, however, is when a man and woman get to a point where they get stuck and there’s really no solution to the issue they are having together. When this is happening, it’s like God is saying, “Hey, I’m glad you tried but it’s time to turn around. This is not the road I want you on anymore.”
It can be tricky to know whether you are dealing with a roadblock or just a big speed bump. One sign this is a roadblock is if you have tried multiple times to get past this issue together but nothing seems to work. One common expression of this type of issue is when a man and woman are connecting a lot and growing, but then once it’s time to actually start dating in an official relationship one of them keeps getting cold feet.
If someone keeps letting you get close to them but then keeps pushing you away every time you are both close enough to actually start dating, this is not a good sign and often means God wants you to completely stop trying to date this person because it is never going to happen.
As Song of Solomon 2:7, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” This verse is often used to counsel people to slow down, but we also need to recognize that if love between a man and woman never awakens when it is aroused, this means it’s not going to happen. Relationships are meant to be progressive, meaning that if you are not moving forward with someone, usually this means it’s not God’s will for you.
2. If Your Thoughts Are the Only “Evidence” that You and This Person Will Date One Day, This Is Often a Sign God Is Telling You It’s Time to Move On
While the Holy Spirit certainly does speak to us in our hearts, so often people cling to something they felt they heard God say about a particular relationship they desire but then there is a complete lack of other supporting evidence that would need to be present to validate what they feel they heard.
You should sense the Holy Spirit leading you to date or marry someone before you proceed into that relationship season with someone. But just because you do feel you heard the Holy Spirit say something does not mean you actually heard that and that it is actually going to happen.
Therefore, if your thoughts and internal desires are the only evidence you are relying on that this relationship will progress into a dating relationship one day, this is often a sign God is telling you to stop trying to date this person. When God does truly tell you something, this will be confirmed by God causing the circumstances to occur that he said would occur. As Isaiah 55:11 explains, “. . . so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” If something is not being accomplished, God did not say it.
For more on this topic, you can read What Does the Bible Say About Signs from God?
3. If You Already Clearly Expressed Your Feelings for This Person and They Did Not Reciprocate, This Almost Always Means You Should Now Stop Trying to Date Them
One of the best reasons to be more proactive and less passive in relationships is that you get a much better sense of the other person’s feelings for you once you are more open about your feelings for them. I’m not saying you should rush things or run around pursuing everyone as soon so feel remotely interested. I’m just saying that when you are so passive that you never send any type of signs to this person that you are interested in, it is likely they too will be very guarded about their feelings towards you.
Being more open will not always result in this person liking you as much as you like them, but it usually does result in you becoming more aware of what their feelings are towards you. If you let someone know that you are interested in them either by just telling them verbally somehow or by sending them an obvious signal with your actions that you are interested, but then they respond in a way that clearly communicates they are not interested, it is a mistake to keep trying to pursue this person. Perhaps a little extra pursuit is needed sometimes when someone is more guarded than the average person, but oftentimes it’s best to just move on.
You can’t force people to do what you want. Just because you really want something to happen does not mean it will happen. Every now and then it could be wise to try a second time, but after that I highly recommend you just move on because God is probably telling you to stop trying to date this person.
Proverbs 29:1 states, “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” If God is telling you to go one way but you are stiffening your neck and being stubborn, you will end up being broken. We must obey God quickly when we know what he is saying.
4. If You Feel Like You Are Rebelling Against God Every Time You Pursue This Person, This Is a Sign God Does Not Want You to Date Him or Her
When you pursue a relationship, this relationship should help your walk with God and not hurt it.
Therefore, when you are with this person or trying to be with this person and you feel like you are rebelling against God, this is a sign the Lord does not want you to try to date this person anymore. As Hebrews 3:15 states, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” Rather, may we do what Jesus told us to do in Matthew 22:37, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”