When you meet the person God wants you to marry one day, it will be different than any other relationship you’ve experienced. How?
Here are 5 major differences God will use to lead you to your future spouse.
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1. When You Meet Your Future Spouse, It Will Be Different Because It Will Be Both Biblical and Emotional Rather Than Just One or the Other
There are two main requirements in the Bible that must be met before God will release you into marriage.
First, the relationship must be biblical. But just because a relationship is biblical does not mean this is the person God has for you.
Therefore, the second biblical requirement for marriage is a personal desire for a specific person. Marriage is a biblical option for those who want it and not a biblical requirement for all Christians (1 Corinthians 7).
Many times in your life, you will meet people with whom it would be biblically acceptable to marry, but emotionally you won’t want to. At other times, you may meet someone you emotionally connect with, but a biblical problem will make it clear this is not God’s will for you.
But it will be different when you meet the person God wants you to marry. It will be biblical and emotionally satisfying to you.
2. When You Meet Your Future Spouse, It Will Be Different Because You Will Be Attracted to Their Spirituality, Personality, and Physical Appearance
Let’s go back to point 1 and focus on the second biblical requirement: a personal desire to marry this person.
What factors form a healthy emotional desire to marry someone? For those in the world, this is usually reduced to physical attraction and a few desirable personality traits. But for Christians, this emotional desire to marry someone will focus on at least three things: the spiritual, their personality, and their physical appearance.
When talking about a spiritual connection, it’s important to note that while the Bible provides the skeleton for a healthy walk with God, there is ample room for personal expression. All Christians are required to obey the Bible. But the way we express our obedience will be unique (1 Corinthians 12:4-11).
For example, when it comes to spiritual gifts, two people can have the same gift but express it very differently. If you are an encourager, you may also be an extrovert who enjoys offering words of affirmation. Another person could be an encourager, but they may be more introverted and encourage others through writing.
Since there are so many different ways to express the same biblical lifestyle, you will naturally have spiritual preferences you enjoy more than others. When you meet the person God has for you, you won’t just be equally yoked. You will also be spiritually attracted to each other due to how you both express your biblical beliefs.
The other two factors to attraction (personality and appearance) are pretty self-explanatory. The only caution I would give is to hold these preferences loosely. Sometimes you begin to appreciate personality traits you didn’t realize you would enjoy when you spend more time with someone. And sometimes attraction grows when emotional connection increases. You can easily get misled when you put too much value on superficial things (Proverbs 31:30).
But big picture, God won’t command you to marry someone you don’t enjoy or find attractive (Proverbs 5:18-19). They don’t need to have every desirable quality you ever dreamed about in a future spouse. But you must want to be with them.
3. When You Meet Your Future Spouse, It Will Be Different Because the Relationship Will Be Desirable and Achievable
Some relationships in your life will not work out due to circumstances beyond your control. Work, family commitments, different seasons of life, varying goals, and many other variables can get in the way.
However, when you meet the person God has for you, you will not only want to marry them, but the circumstances will also allow it.
This was one of the signs God used to lead Isaac and Rebekah together. When you read Genesis 24, you will see that, in God’s sovereignty, he arranged the circumstances so that it would be clear they were to get married. Notice that in Genesis 24:14, God “appointed” Rebekah to be Isaac’s wife. They knew she was “the one” for Isaac because there was both a desire to be married (Genesis 24:58) and the circumstances allowed for it.
4. When God Shows You Your Future Spouse, It Will Be Different Because It Will Be Mutual and Long-Lasting
Proverbs 19:2, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.”
God’s path involves both desire and knowledge, and this requires patience. Therefore, when this mutual desire for each other persists and does not fade even after a healthy season of dating, this is usually a sign that God is leading a couple toward marriage.
5. When God Shows You Your Future Spouse, It Will Be Different Because the Relationship Will Be Both Hard and Easy in Healthy Ways
The reason I tagged on that little line “in healthy ways” is that a relationship can be hard in bad ways and it can be easy in bad ways too.
If a relationship is just hard because you two fight all the time and tear each other down, that’s more likely a sign that you part ways.
Healthy relationships have hard times too, but these hard times cause the couple to grow stronger rather than weaker. God uses the challenges to fortify the unions he is building (James 1:2-4).
On the other hand, when you meet the one, it should be easy too. Of course, there will be fights sometimes, hurt feelings, and issues to work through. But when you meet the one that God wants you to marry one day, it will be easy to be around them. You will naturally connect and just “fit” together (Genesis 2:18).
However, some relationships are easy because they are superficial. Some people stay together because it’s fun, or they just don’t want to be alone. That is not the healthy “easy” I’m talking about.
So you will know you met the person God wants you to marry when you experience that different type of relationship that is both hard and easy at the same time in healthy ways.
And if you’ve been enjoying this content for a while and want to go even deeper with me, feel free to click here to learn more about my relationship training courses, the current scholarship, and the free one-hour coaching session with me.
The scholarship and bonuses are only available to those who enroll before the November 23rd deadline. Click here to learn more!
