4 Reasons God Will Let You Fall in Love with the Wrong Person

Here are 4 reasons God will let you fall in love with the wrong person.

And please note the language I’m using here. I’m not saying God will make you fall in love with the wrong person. Rather, I’m saying that God “will let you” fall in love with the wrong person. He doesn’t cause this, but he does permit it sometimes.

I’m also not saying this will happen to you, as though I’m predicting the future. Rather, I’m saying God “will let you” fall in love with the wrong person if you do or don’t do certain things.

1. God Will Let You Fall in Love with the Wrong Person If You Are Not Rightly Using the Relationship Desires He’s Given You

Sin is a corruption of God’s good gifts. The sinful nature in us takes what is God-given and good and then misuses it in unholy ways (Romans 7:13).

Take hunger for example. God blesses us with the feeling of hunger so we know when we should eat. Food is a blessing that is meant to nourish our bodies and to bring enjoyment. However, if you ignore your hunger, it can drive you to eventually steal food, eat too much of it, or sin in some other way.

In Genesis 25, Esau asked Jacob for some stew because he was exhausted. Jacob then tempted him and said he would give him some stew if he sold his birthright to him. In Genesis 25:30, Esau responded, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Genesis 25:34 says, “Thus Esau despised his birthright.”

His hunger wasn’t the problem. The real issue was his lack of self-control and his devaluing of his birthright. Notice that when Jesus was fasting in the wilderness and Satan tempted him with food, he resisted this temptation and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone’” (Luke 4:4).

Likewise, when it comes to relationship desires, a strong passion for marriage is not the problem. God has given people these desires so that they have the motivation and energy to do the hard work necessary to pursue a holy relationship.

Sin occurs, however, when these strong relationship desires are mismanaged or ignored for too long. Like someone who has refused to eat healthy food and then is tempted by the unhealthy, so too are those who allow their relationship desires to rule over them rather than ruling their relationship desires through the power of the Holy Spirit (Hebrews 12:16-17).

2. God Will Let You Fall in Love with the Wrong Person if You Are Trying to Deny Your Desire for Marriage Rather than Being Honest About It

Many Christian singles want marriage so bad that they are afraid to admit it. To protect their heart, they feel it would be better to pretend they want to be single rather than be honest about their marriage desire and be disappointed if it doesn’t happen.

The problem with this approach is that it leads people to fall head over heels for the first person who shows them romantic interest. If a man has been lying to himself about wanting to be married but then a woman shows interest in him, he will often overreact and do whatever he can to be with this woman even if he knows she is not a godly choice for him. If a woman has been lying to herself about being content in singleness but then a man starts to pursue her hard, she will find it nearly impossible to resist his pursuit even if he has none of the Christian qualities she desires.

There’s always a consequence to lying to yourself (Galatians 6:7, 1 Peter 5:8). You will never be able to deny the truth forever. Eventually, your passivity and fear will lead you into a painful situation. While it’s uncomfortable to admit you want marriage when there is no one in your life, it’s best to be honest with God.

If you want a godly spouse who loves the Lord, lay that desire before the Lord and reject all the false lovers that will come your way. It’s better to be alone than to fall in love with the wrong person.

3. God Will Let You Fall in Love with the Wrong Person If You Are Lukewarm for Him

Two unbelievers will have trouble without the Lord (John 15:5), but they are equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). Two believers who both love the Lord will have the power to truly love each other and they are equally yoked. The type of person who will always be in an unequally yoked relationship is the Christian who is lukewarm (Revelation 3:15-16).

The lukewarm Christian loves the Lord and so they are different than a nonbeliever, but they are not loving the Lord as they aught and thus they are different than a faithful Christian. Relationally speaking, a lukewarm Christian doesn’t fit with anyone. Sure, technically speaking they would be equally yoked with another lukewarm Christian; but since two lukewarm Christians are both divided individuals, they will never be able to experience the unity God desires for a married couple.

Thus, being lukewarm for Jesus is a sure way to end up falling in love with the wrong person.

4. God Will Let You Fall in Love with the Wrong Person to Teach You How to Use Your Love Properly

Love in the Bible is a multifaceted thing. It is a feeling and an action. There are romantic forms of love and then there are charity forms of love that should be given to all people. One of the main underlying traits of all true love, however, is that love is a choice.

If you love someone who you know is not a healthy person to be in a relationship with, you have to choose to love them in an appropriate way. If you choose to become unequally yoked with them or you choose to stay with them even though they are abusing you all because you think this how you have to express your love for them, God will teach you this is not true.

You can love someone without choosing to love them as the person you want to marry. If you choose to fall in love with the wrong person, God will use this painful experience to discipline you so you know how to rightly use the love he’s given you.

As Jesus said in Revelation 3:19, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”