How to Dress to Attract a Christian Woman

Should a Christian man even care about how he dresses? Isn’t it vain to think about what clothes and apparel would be most appealing to a Christian woman? And shouldn’t godly women care more about a man’s heart than his appearance?

While I think it could be vain of a man to be overly concerned with how he looks, and while a woman should care more about a man’s heart than his appearance, I also think it’s foolish to assume a godly man should not think about his appearance at all. Like it or not, the way we present ourselves has a direct impact on how effective we are in achieving the goals God has given us.

For example, if you are a missionary, it would be wise to consider the culture so you are not putting stumbling blocks in your efforts to spread the gospel by the clothes you wear. If you are going to be speaking at a church, it is a sign of respect if you dress in an honorable way that shows you value the opportunity to speak with those Christians.

Likewise, pursuing a woman into marriage is a high calling that is glorifying to God. Thus, it is wise to think about how your appearance plays into this. Yes, worldly men and women do worldly things when trying to attract each other. But as Christians, we should not ignore our appearance. Rather, we want to be thinking biblically about our appearances.

Therefore, if you are a Christian man and you want to appeal to a Christian woman, here are 3 biblical principles to consider.

1. Dress in an Orderly and Intentional Way

1 Corinthians 14:40, “But all things should be done decently and in order.”

In context, the above Bible verse is in reference to how the church should gather during service. However, the principle of being orderly certainly applies to all of life, including in how a man should present himself.

Throughout the Bible, you see a pattern: Whenever the Holy Spirit is absent, chaos ensues. Whenever the Holy Spirit is present, order is created. As a Spirit-filled man, you want to express the order God has brought to your life by how you present yourself. When your shirts are all wrinkled, when your shoe laces are all long and flopping around everywhere, or when your shirts are all stretched out around the neck, this subconsciously makes a woman feel like you don’t have your life together.

On the other hand, when you present yourself in an orderly and intentional way, this makes a woman feel like you have leadership capabilities. The first thing a woman needs to see before she wants to submit to you is that you can at least lead yourself. And one of the simplest ways for you to show her this is by presenting yourself in a put-together way. Here are some examples:

• Make sure your clothes fit you well. When your pants are too long or too short or when your shirts are too big or too tight, you look disorderly.
• Retire those clothes that have seen better days. Wear whatever you want around the house. But when it’s time to go out, don’t wear that old, grungy shirt just because you’ve had it for years and it fits you like a glove.
• Accessorize your clothing with quality items, like with nice leather boots and belts that complement each other.

2. Never Try to Buy Respect By Being a Walking Billboard

Matthew 23:5 (NLT), “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.”

While the above verse is about not wearing things just to make yourself appear holy to receive praise from people, the principle of being careful to not wear things for bad reasons is relevant for our conversation.

Remember, I’m not talking about dressing to attract a worldly woman. I’m talking about godly women. And when it comes to a mature Christian woman, the more effort you put into highlighting the brands of clothing and accessories you wear, the less real strength you are projecting to her.

It may be subconscious, but when a Christian woman notices a man who is intentionally using a brand or company to give himself status points, that woman demotes that man in her mind, thinking to herself, “He’s insecure. He’s trying to increase his reputation through borrowing status from a brand.”

Again, most Christian women aren’t consciously demoting a man in their minds due to that man flaunting name brand apparel, but internally they feel the man’s inner weakness that is leading him to try so hard to get other people to notice him. Therefore, here’s a few practical tips:

• Stay away from shirts that have big prints of a brand on them. Prints aren’t always bad if you like the design. The big turn-off is to have a name brand slapped across your chest like you’re a walking billboard.
• Avoid brands that are obviously overpriced and ridiculous. If you’re wearing a $50 dollar cotton t-shirt, you’re not projecting the qualities of a godly man. You’re showing that you love money and you want people to see you as wealthy.
• Never allow your identity to get wrapped up in a brand. Some guys only wear one brand and always need that emblem visible somewhere on their outfit. This shows a dependence on a symbol rather than being your own man.

3. Dress to Fit the Occasion

1 Corinthians 9:19-20, “For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.”

While Paul was talking about a practical application point of how he tried to reach different people with the gospel, the principle of being intentional about the goal you have relates well to our topic here.

If you’re going to the gym, you obviously don’t need to dress like you’re going to church. And likewise, when you’re going to church, don’t dress like you’re going to the gym. If you work in a business casual environment, you probably don’t need to wear a suit. But you also don’t want to press the limits and start wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

All that to say, a woman will be more likely to be attracted to you when you dress to fit the occasion because it shows you are a thoughtful and in-tune person.

Style is very personal and that’s good. I don’t think we should all dress the same. Rather, I hope these principles can help you present yourself in the best and most authentic way you can.