3 Things God Is Saying If You’re Tired of Waiting for Marriage

Have you ever said something like: “I just want to get married. I wish it wasn’t so complicated. I just want the one God has for me. I’m tired of being alone and having to resist my ever-constant hunger for intimacy. I just want marriage the right way, not singleness or celibacy anymore.”

What might God be saying to statements and feelings like this? Here are 3 possible answers.

1. If You’re Tired of Being Alone and You Just Want to Get Married, God May Be Saying, “Your Desire Is Good”

When you have a strong desire for marriage, the enemy will often try to make you feel guilty about this. Satan knows if he can make us feel bad about good desires, we won’t do anything proactive to pursue those desires in godly ways. Instead of using our loneliness as motivation to walk forward on the paths God may have for us that lead to marriage, we will just stand there, feeling guilty for being discontent.

While we can certainly put too much hope into marriage, it’s not a sin to really want to be married. Remember what God said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Your desire for a godly companion doesn’t come from yourself. This desire actually comes from God.

Thus, if you really want to be married and you’re tired of being alone, just know that God is not mad at you for feeling this way. It’s good. God made most of us to thrive best in marriage rather than in singleness (1 Corinthians 7:2, 7).

2. If You’re Tired of Being Alone and You Just Want to Get Married, God May Be Saying, “Your Desire Can Be Used Against You”

While the desire for a godly partner is biblical and good, the Scriptures also teach us that good things can be used in bad ways. That’s really what most sin is – using something good in a bad way. Thus, if you have a strong desire for marriage, you must not only protect this desire and know that it is good, but you must also be aware that it can be used against you.

How? For one, desperation makes you vulnerable to manipulation. Satan knows this. Thus, if you really want to be married, Satan will tempt you to think that marriage is the main source of joy in this life, which leads to idolatry. Marriage is not the main source of joy in this life. It is a blessing. But if you are not full of joy in Christ first, and then you meet the person God wants you with, your marriage with that person would still be miserable.

Additionally, this strong desire for marriage can be used against you by tempting you to compromise and end up with people God doesn’t want you with. This, however, only keeps you from your godly spouse even longer. The more you mess around in the wrong relationships, the longer it will take for you to be ready to be in the right relationship.

Lastly, an unmet desire for something good can be used against you by tempting you into giving up. Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Hoping for something good is risky business. But there’s no way around it. If you want a godly marriage, you have to expose yourself to the possibility of being let down. The only way to avoid this pain is to not hope for marriage at all, which will lead you to resist opportunities and run from love.

3. If You’re Tired of Being Alone and You Just Want to Get Married, God May Be Saying, “I am Your Greatest Desire”

Let’s go back to Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” While it’s true that a deferred hope for marriage will be painful, the key is to make sure marriage is not your main hope in life. If it is, you will lose heart. God is our main hope. He is the one we need most. This isn’t to say that it’s wrong to want marriage. Rather, this is just highlighting the simple truth that we are made primarily for God and not just for a spouse.

And when God is your hope, your heart will be full of life because that hope will always be fulfilled. Romans 5:5 (NIV), “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

So if you are tired of being alone and you just want to get married sooner rather than later, allow this pain to push you closer to Christ. Never let it pull you away from Jesus. As you follow the Lord and delight in him, he will give you the desires of your heart. As Psalm 37:4 explains, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

And if you’re a Christian single woman who wants biblical and practical advice on how to invite a godly man to pursue you, my newest book is for you! It’s called Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.