Does God want you to date that guy? In many of my articles, you just need a few of the points to relate to you to know what God may be saying. However, in this article, I’ve placed these points in a particular order and I believe you need all five points before really knowing what God is saying.
So, here are five things that will be very clear when God wants you to date a man.
1. When God Clearly Wants You to Date a Man, It Will Not Be a Sin to Do So
In other words, before you can know if God is telling you to date a particular man who has a particular personality and will affect your life in a particular way that would be different than other men, you first need to ask more general questions that can be answered biblically.
Dating is a personal decision. Therefore, you’re not going to be able to look up a Bible verse that directly tells you that you should or should not date a particular man. However, you can look up many verses that will be able to help you decide if it would be right or wrong to date a certain type of man.
For example, Christians are to only be equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), we are to avoid sexual temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18), and we are to seek to pair with people who are calling on the Lord from a pure heart (2 Timothy 2:22).
Therefore, never allow yourself to debate dating a guy before you make sure he checks the minimum biblical boxes. It doesn’t matter if you’re attracted to him, enjoy his company, or like the way he’s pursuing you if the relationship would be sinful.
2. When God Clearly Wants You to Date a Man, You Both Will Want to Date Each Other
After you have decided that the relationship would not be overtly sinful, the next step is to figure out if the relationship would be mutually desirable. While we must start with the objective truth that would determine if a relationship is biblical or not, the Bible itself does not lead us to only look at truth when it comes to choosing singleness or marriage.
Rather, the choice to be single or married involves a person’s desires. Scripture makes it clear that when a Christian is looking for a spouse, they should really want to be with the person they are choosing to marry (1 Corinthians 7:36). If they don’t want to marry someone, they should remain single (1 Corinthians 7:37).
While dating is not the same thing as marriage, this principle of needing to want to be with someone does help you know if God is leading you two to date. Not only will you want to date this man, but this man will also want to date you, which leads us to point 3.
3. When God Clearly Wants You to Date a Man, You Both Will Respond Positively to the Other Person’s Efforts to Connect
A lot of Christian women will know that if God is clearly leading her to date a man, one sign that will be present is the man’s pursuit of that woman. And this is true. If God clearly wants you to date a man, that man should be pursuing you somehow.
However, a lot of Christian women make the mistake of thinking the only way for this to happen is for the man to start the initiating process. And sometimes, a man does pursue the woman, but she is so passive in her response to him, he receives it as rejection; she, on the other hand, may be expecting him to keep pursuing in bolder and bolder ways. She then perceives his withdrawal as God’s sign that he’s not the one for her.
It’s my belief that the best application of biblical principles to the dating process involves the man’s pursuit and the woman being inviting. Thus, while he should be doing most of the initiating, she should do some initiating too to spark his interest or to encourage the pursuit he’s already done.
He needs to be proactive, and she needs to be proactive (Ruth 3:9-11). The way they will be proactive will look different. Nonetheless, the only way to clearly know if God wants you to date a man is to let the man pursue you and also invite his pursuit through your activity.
For more on this, you may want to read my book called Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.
4. God Clearly Wants You to Date This Man If You Need to Date This Man to Know the Next Steps to Take
Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” While dating will eventually be a needed season once you meet the man God wants you to marry, there are also other seasons that will be needed to help you know what men are not right for you.
In other words, if you don’t need to date a man to get certain questions answered that you would need to know before marrying a man, you probably shouldn’t date him yet. For example:
- If you want to marry a godly man who loves the Lord, you don’t need to date a guy to figure that out. You can learn that from friendship or from simply going on some dates with him before entering into an official relationship.
- If you want to marry a man who could join you on the mission field, you don’t need to date a man to figure that out. You can learn that through going on dates with him or from just being friends.
- If you want to know if he actually produces the fruits of the Spirit, you don’t need to date him. Again, you can spend time with him and get to know him first before entering into an official relationship.
Eventually, however, before you can know if God wants you to marry this man, you will need to enter into a dating or courting phase, which leads us to point 5.
5. God Clearly Wants You to Date This Man If You Really Like Him But You Are Unsure If He’s The One
Many Christian women struggle to date a man because they are asking God about marriage. Rather than asking God, “Is this the man you want me to date right now?” they are asking God, “Is this man you want me to marry one day?”
God does not usually tell you to marry someone through a voice in your head. He’s going to speak through his word, through the Holy Spirit in your heart, and through the circumstances in your life. In other words, God will answer your questions about marriage through a process, which usually includes dating. God tells us to be wise (Proverbs 28:26). It’s not wise to make a big decision without many forms of confirmation (Proverbs 15:22).
When you know God does not want you to marry someone, don’t date them. When you know God does want you to marry someone, marry them. If you are unsure if God wants you to marry someone, date them. Dating is one means through which God will reveal the one to you.
