What does Matthew 6:33 mean? And how should Matthew 6:33 be used by Christian singles who are seeking a spouse?
Last week I wrote an article called 4 Reasons You Should Not Put God First to Find a Spouse. In that article, I explained that when we put God first to get something from God, we’re not actually putting God first.
When you put God first “to get a spouse,” you’re actually putting your desire for a spouse before God. While putting God first does result in many blessings, including when it comes to relationships, we have to be careful we aren’t trying to manipulate God by “loving” him just to get something from him, which wouldn’t actually be loving him.
I said a lot more, so feel free to study that topic by reading that article. However, one question that kept coming up in the comments on that video was about Matthew 6:33, which states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Many Christian singles have been taught to use this verse to “put God first to find a spouse.” So in this article, I will explain 5 ways many Christian singles are misusing Matthew 6:33 in their desire to get married.
1. Some Christian Singles Misuse Matthew 6:33 By Missing the Context of Anxiety
When you read Matthew 6:33 in context, you will quickly see that it is surrounded by conjunctions and transition words like “Therefore,” “for,” “and,” “but,” and “yet.” So what are these words connecting?
The paragraph Matthew 6:33 is found in starts with the word “Therefore” (Matthew 6:25), and the verse that precedes this paragraph says, “You cannot serve God and money” (Matthew 6:24). Matthew 6:25 then states:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
Thus, it’s clear that the real point of Matthew 6:33 is not about getting food, clothing, and material blessings on earth. Jesus did say this verse in the context of, “Hey, want to know how to get everything you need in life?” No, he said Matthew 6:33 in the context of, “Hey, want to know how to stop worrying so much about the things you need?”
So rather than using Matthew 6:33 as a way of finding a spouse, a better application that relates more to its actual context would be to use Matthew 6:33 as a way of not worrying about finding a spouse.
2. Some Christian Singles Misuse Matthew 6:33 By Using It to Justify Not Being Proactive to Get Into a Relationship
Again, by remembering the true context of Jesus’ main theme surrounding Matthew 6:33, we can correct this common error.
When people read “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you,” they wrongly hear that Jesus tells us not to work for the things we need. Matthew 6:33 doesn’t mean that if you are hungry and need clothing, all you should do is seek God and put his kingdom first. It says not to worry. It doesn’t say not to work.
Let’s go back to Jesus’ analogy about the birds: “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26). But how does our heavenly Father feed the birds? Are the birds just sitting in the trees, praying, and then God sends an angel to drop worms into their mouths? No! God does feed the birds, but he does so by designing them to make certain choices that lead them to the food God has created for them.
And again, the verse directly after this states, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Matthew 6:27). So it’s clear that Jesus point in bringing up the birds was not to highlight just putting God first and then waiting for the blessing. Rather, Jesus point was to ease our anxiety. He basically said, “Hey, look at the birds. They fly around, and God supplies food for them. Don’t worry! God loves you more than birds! He’ll bless your efforts too!”
Regarding food, nowhere in Scripture are we commanded to just pray and put God first. Rather, we are to pray and put God first, but to find food, God expects us to play our parts (James 2:17, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Proverbs 19:15).
Thus, it is a bad application of Scripture to say that to find a spouse, all you need to do is put God first. You do need to put God first, but you also need to do what God tells you to do so you can receive what he wants to give you. If you just pray and wait, you will be single forever.
Psalm 127:1, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” Without God’s blessing, your efforts will be fruitless. But this truth doesn’t mean God wants you to stop putting in effort to build the things you want. Building without God’s blessing is done in vain. But building (with God’s blessing) is still needed!
3. Some Christians Misuse Matthew 6:33 When Looking for a Spouse By Becoming a Mercenary
A mercenary is a soldier who was hired by a foreign nation. They work for pay, not for the cause. Likewise, when you put God first because you think he will then give you everything you want, this is a mercenary mindset.
Notice that in Matthew 6:33, Jesus uses the word “and” rather than “so”. He said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” If Jesus said put God first “so” all these things would be added to you, that would completely change the meaning.
Rather, Jesus was saying that your main goal in life is to love God and put him first. And then you don’t need to worry about your other desires because the God you serve cares about you. He knows your desires and wants what is best for you.
In just a handful of verses further in the text, Jesus then states, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11).
4. Some Christian Singles Misuse Matthew 6:33 By Using It to Highlight Earthly Blessings Rather than Eternal Ones
I’m in no way denying the biblical truth that God blesses his people with many good things on earth, like food, clothing, and marriage. However, in context, that is not the ultimate promise Jesus is seeking to highlight in Matthew 6:33. To gain greater context, let’s read a few verses that come before it:
- Matthew 6:19-21, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
- Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”
- Matthew 6:25, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
After saying things like this, it would be odd for Jesus to then give us a formula on how to get all the earthly stuff we want. My point is, the emphasis of Matthew 6:33 is not “and all these things will be added to you.” That’s what our earthly motivations focus on. But Jesus added that part to simply say, “Don’t worry! God will take care of you.” The real point Jesus was making is “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.”
So rather than using this verse as a formula to find a spouse, it is better used as a reminder of what is most important. To use Jesus’ language, “Is not life more than finding a spouse? For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
God promises to supply every need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19), but God defines “need” differently than we do. Paul, for example, experienced hunger, thirst, sleeplessness, and homelessness (1 Corinthians 4:11-13, 2 Corinthians 11:27) while genuinely seeking God’s kingdom first. This wasn’t God’s failure; it was God’s will. Paul’s hardships on earth were actually used by God for eternal blessings and spiritual strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
The New Testament makes clear believers should expect suffering and affliction; promises about physical provision will be fully realized only at the consummation when there will be no more tears, death, mourning, crying, or pain (Revelation 21:4)
Thus, in the life of Paul, there was no contradiction to what Jesus promised in Matthew 6:33. Rather, Paul’s life is a demonstration of what Jesus did promise in this verse. By putting God first, Paul overcame anxiety and found all of his needs met in God, even when he had little or much (Philippians 4:11-13)
Therefore, God promises to supply every need, but his understanding of what constitutes genuine need often differs from ours, and his timing may diverge from our expectations. Sometimes, God’s promise of provision will only be fully met in heaven.
It’s not wrong to want a spouse. But the promises of God are not ultimately about marriage. Ultimately, Jesus came to give us everlasting life with the Father.
5. Some Christian Singles Misuse Matthew 6:33 By Misunderstanding God’s Sign of Pleasure with You
When we use Matthew 6:33 as a formula to get earthly blessings, eventually we will end up feeling like we must be failing God and he must be mad at us. You will end up making that conclusion because if putting God first is supposed to equal getting what you want, then if you don’t have what you want, that must mean you aren’t putting God first.
But that is not a biblically consistent conclusion to make. Scripture never states that those who have what they want on earth are pleasing God and those who don’t have what they want are displeasing God. For example, in Luke 16:25, in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, Jesus said, “But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish.”
The point is, Matthew 6:33 should never be used to say that those who don’t have what they want must not be putting God first. Life isn’t that transactional. In love, God will allow us to go through many hard things because he has a greater purpose that serves his glory (Hebrews 12:7-11).
A lot more could be said here, but I believe I would be repeating much of what I already wrote in my previous article. So if you haven’t read that one, I would encourage you to do so since it adds more layers to the points being made in this article.
Related Article: 4 Reasons You Should Not Put God First to Find a Spouse
