We all have free will; so, obviously, we can choose to date anyone we want to date. Thus, when I say you must pass these three tests before God will “let you date someone,” what I’m really talking about is the confirmation God wants to give you.
In other words, if you don’t pass these three tests first, you won’t have peace about entering into a dating relationship. God wants to lead you and give you the green light about the person he wants you with.
Therefore, here are three tests you and someone need to pass before God will let you date each other.
1. Before God Lets You Date Someone, You Will Have to Pass the Test of Fear
When two people are not meant to be, the little fears that always come for everyone in the beginning of a connection will be too much for them to overcome. However, when a man and woman push past these fears and start connecting on a deeper level, this can be used by God to let them know they should proceed into a dating relationship together. For example:
- When you sense chemistry with someone due to eye contact or little conversations that occur because you were in mutual places, eventually you two will have to overcome the fear of trying to have a deeper, more significant interaction. One of you will need to approach the other, you both will have to get through the awkward pauses, and you will have to risk the social embarrassment of others asking about you two once they see you interacting in public.
- Once you have started interacting with each other in casual but more significant ways, you will then have to overcome the fear of rejection when you want to experience something more with this person. One of you will need to invite the other to spend more significant time together. One of you will need to accept this initiation. And both of you will need to be open to the possibility of things not going as planned.
- Perhaps the biggest fear you both will have to overcome is the fear of the unknown in the future. Will your heart get broken? Will this person turn out to be someone totally different from what they were pretending to be? Will you waste your time by opening your heart more to each other? Some people allow these questions to prevent them from even trying to be together.
The point is, somehow, God will let you both experience some fears before you start dating. However, if it’s truly meant to be, God will also give you the courage to push past these fears and give it a shot. If the fears are just too much and the risk doesn’t seem worth it, this is a sign God is not in it.
And to be clear, sometimes you shouldn’t push past the fears. Sometimes the fears are legitimate and warning signs from God. My point, however, is that when it is from God, he won’t spare you of fears but he will give you the power to push through whatever is blocking you from his will. As 2 Timothy 1:7 states, “. . . for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
2. Before God Lets You Date Someone, You Will Have to Pass the Test of Exclusivity.
In many cases, Christians start dating each other much too early. There’s no reason to date when you can gather unknown facts about someone without dating them. For example, you don’t need to date someone to find out if they are a Christian. You don’t need to date someone to find out if you are headed in the same general direction in life. You don’t need to date someone to see if you two enjoy each other’s company and have personalities that mesh well.
Eventually you will need to date to make sure you can pass these tests on a deeper level. But in many cases, if you were to be friends with someone a bit longer without dating them, you will save yourself a lot of heartache by discovering facts that will help you know God does not want you to two together.
But, there certainly does come a time where you two need to become an exclusive couple to learn the necessary facts to gauge whether or not you should get married one day. It’s not wise to jump from “just friends” into marriage. Rather, you want some sort of season in-between there where you two are an exclusive couple but not yet fully bonded in marriage.
While the Bible doesn’t specifically promote dating or courting, wisdom leads us to give God time to send us the needed confirmation before making a huge commitment like marriage. As Proverbs 19:2 states, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.”
3. Before God Lets You Date Someone, You Will Have to Pass the Test of Biblical Consistency
It’s easy to say the right things. It’s even possible for a fake person to do the right things. However, no one can pass the test of biblical consistency other than those who are truly following the Lord (1 John 1:6-7).
In other words, just as true Christians persevere and keep following the Lord rather than turning away after a short season of obedience, so too must you give yourself time to actually see if you and someone are biblically consistent Christians who are prepared to enter into a godly relationship.
As Proverbs 21:5 (NLT) states, “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”
Here’s a related article called 3 Signs God Sent Someone to Test You.
