Matthew 6:9-10
Here are 5 things God will show you in a person who is good for your heart.
1. They Have a Good Awareness of Healthy Timeframes for Relationship Milestones
All Christian relationships should have a similar appearance to one another because the Bible gives us all biblical principles to apply (2 Timothy 3:16-17), but Christian relationships should not all look exactly the same because the Bible does not give us relationship formulas to be followed in precisely the same way.
A mature, healthy Christian who is good for your heart will understand this. They will seek the Spirit’s leading on how long to be friends, when to start dating, when to become an official couple, and when to get engaged (Song of Solomon 8:4).
We will all have different opinions on what is the perfect timeframe for relationship milestones, but if someone is going way too fast or way too slow for you personally, this person is not good for your heart.
2. They Respect Your Boundaries for Guarding Your Heart and They Express Their Own Boundaries as Well for Guarding Their Own Heart
What do I mean when we say that someone is good for your heart? What I mean is that this person is seeking to contribute to your hearts ability to honor the Lord and follow his leading. This is the point of Proverbs 4:23, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
To do this in the dating context, the man and woman must both seek to guard their own heart and the heart of the other. Again, this does not mean they don’t open up and resist their growing feelings for each other. Rather, it means you are opening your heart up in a safe way that leads to life flowing out of it rather than hurt flowing into it.
It means you both seek to open your hearts for each other in a mature, healthy way that corresponds to commitment. You will open up more as more commitment is offered, thus fully opening up when the full covenant bond of marriage is offered.
3. They Are Just as Concerned with Your Spiritual Beliefs as You Are About Their Spiritual Beliefs
If someone is just trying to shape-shift into what you want them to be spiritually rather than putting just as much effort in finding an equally yoked partner as you, they are not good for your heart. Someone who is good for your heart will also be following 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NLT) like you are:
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”
4. They Are Close to Other People Before They Even Met You
If you’ve ever done any weight training, you know that you should not expect to lift as much weight as someone who has been weight training for a long time. Your muscles grow the more you do it.
The same is true when it comes to having close, healthy relationships. Someone will not be able to lift the load required in marriage if they have not been training their relationship muscles in other spheres of life.
Galatians 6:2 applies to all Christians, not just husband and wives, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Of course there will be a learning process in dating and marriage, but someone who is good for your heart will have close friends, close church members, and other people in their life that they have actually learned some valuable relationship lessons with before having met you.
5. They Are More Concerned with Following God’s Will for You Both Rather Than Shaping God’s Will for You Both
Forcing God’s will is not how you follow God’s will. God has a plan and it’s our job as Christians to follow that plan.
Certainly God has given us freedom and God’s plan includes our free choices. But unhealthy people think it’s their job to make God do what they think God should do while healthy Christians know it is their job to seek and follow God’s will in humility.
Someone who is good for your heart will have a submissive attitude towards God. They will want to discover God’s will with you rather than forcing their will on you. As Jesus taught us to pray, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven,” (Matthew 6:9-10).