5 Reasons God Might Put You in an “Opposites Attract” Type of Relationship

The term “opposites attract” can be biblical or unbiblical depending on what you mean when you say it.

For example, throughout Scripture, God makes it very clear that he wants believers to marry people that they are spiritually compatible with (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39, Deuteronomy 7:3-4, Ezra 9:1-15). And on a practical level, we know that when people are too different, they can end up being miserable together in relationships.

And yet, in another sense, there are massive benefits to being paired with someone who sees things differently than you. Additionally, no two humans are exactly the same; thus, there will always be characteristics that are “opposites” in a man and woman.

With that idea in mind, here are 5 signs that happen when God is putting a man and woman together who could be characterized by the phrase, “opposites attract.”

1. When the Masculine and Feminine Are Attracted to Each Other, This Is One Way God Causes “Opposites to Attract”

In Genesis 1:27, we are told that both men and women are made in the image of God. However, since they are different entities, this means that they display the image of God differently. If God meant that a woman and man both displayed God in the same way, he would have just made them male and male or female and female. The female and male differences are real and yet they also work together to form a more complete picture of God’s image.

You can see this in the effect that can only occur when a man and woman come together – children. When the differences in a man and woman are joined together, new life is formed. This was God’s plan, for after he made them in his image, he said to them both, “Be fruitful and multiply . . .” (Genesis 1:28).

The masculine in the man will be attractive to the woman, and the feminine in the woman will be attractive to the man. And when they come together, their opposites will actually enhance and bring out the good in each other.

So one reason God will always put you in an “opposites attract” relationship is because there will always be an “opposites attract” element in biblical relationships between men and women.

2. When Someone’s Strengths Help You in Your Weaknesses, This Is One Way God Causes “Opposites to Attract”

When God leads a Christian into a romantic relationship, there will be many elements in that relationship which could also be seen in non-romantic relationships as well. If all you have is romance, the relationship will not be biblical. A biblical romantic relationship combines romance with Christian love and affection that we should have for all our brothers and sisters in Christ. Notice how we are routinely called to use our strengths to help others in their weaknesses:

• Romans 15:1, “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”
• Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
• Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

In a healthy romantic relationship, in some ways we will be the strong one who can help the other person and in some ways we will be the weak one who needs the help of the other person.

God often puts you with someone who is weak where you are strong and strong where you are weak. When you come together, you help each other immensely.

3. When You Two Have Different Gifts that Work Together Really Well, This Is One Way that God Causes “Opposites to Attract”

Many times Christian singles imagine God pairing them with someone who will have the same ministry gifts. If they are able to teach, they imagine being paired with someone who also likes to teach. If they are gifted in serving, they imagine that their spouse will also have this ability. If they are generous, they imagine their spouse being a lavish giver as well.

In most cases, however, this is not what God does. You don’t need your spouse to serve God in the same way that you serve God. You don’t even need them to have the same ministry passions. You just need them to not pull you away from what God is leading you to do and you need them to support you as you do what you feel called to do. Don’t require them to be a clone of you.

Additionally, by pairing you with someone who has a different spiritual gift than you, oftentimes you form an even better team because you can do different things. As 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 explains, chaos happens when the different body parts want to all be the same body part.

4. When You Two Have Very Different Upbringings and Experiences that Actually Make You a Better Couple Together, This Is One Way that God Causes “Opposites to Attract”

Someone who came from a two-parent household will have different experiences than someone who came from a one-parent household. Someone who grew up with a lot of resources will have difference experiences than someone who grew up with fewer resources. Someone who grew up in a Southern Baptist church will have had different experiences than someone who became a believer as an adult. Someone who was an only child will have different experiences than someone who grew up with many siblings.

While these types of differences can also create disagreements and miscommunication, God can use the differences in our past to also help one another. The key is allowing God to shape and mold us through the way in which other people challenge us.

Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

5. When Someone Has a Different Love Language Than You But It’s Causing You to Get Better at Loving, This Is One Way God Causes “Opposites to Attract”

When we begin trying to love others, we tend to express love in the ways that we would want to be loved. This is a great start. But as we mature in our ability to love others, we will learn how to love others in the way they best receive love, rejecting the assumption that they are just like us.

Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). At first, this would lead us to love others in the exact way we would want to be loved. But what is love? The deepest forms of love are when we do what the other person needs no matter the cost to ourselves (John 15:13). To love your neighbor as yourself means to love your neighbor in the way that they need to be loved.

For example, if you marry an introvert but you are an extrovert, you will want to show them love by talking and going out in public together. However, you will also need to learn how to love them by giving them alone time and silence. And if you are and introvert who marries an extrovert, you will have to learn how to talk even when you don’t feel like it and go to public events that your spouse wants to go to even when you wish you could just stay home.

When you are becoming a better lover through serving someone according to their needs and not your own, this is a sign God has put you in an “opposites attract” type of relationship.