What I’m about to say is going to come off as blasphemous at first. So please read this whole article to get the full context of this statement. If you do, I believe you will better enjoy your Christian singleness and be better situated to find a Christian spouse. Alright, here it goes:
Stop trying to put God first as a way of finding your future spouse.
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.-2 Corinthians 4:15
Let’s be honest. As Christians, sometimes we just don’t feel like worshipping God. It’s tempting to give some comforting words like, “And that’s okay.” But frankly it’s not okay. Throughout the Bible, we are told to glorify and worship God all the time (1 Corinthians 10:31, Colossians 3:17).
So when we don’t feel like worshipping God, this is a huge problem for us. But what can be done? The answer: dwell on the gospel, meaning the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:1-4).
(This article was also published on ChurchLeaders.com)
Recent statistics show that every year in the US, 4000 churches close their doors while only 1000 new churches are planted. Among existing churches, half did not add any new members to their ranks in the last two years. From 1990 to 2000, the combined membership of all Protestant denominations dropped by almost 5 million members, while the US population rose by 24 million.1
These are alarming statistics!
Each church that shuts down represents real people who have lost their church family. So if you are someone looking for a new church, someone wondering if their church is built to last, or someone who would love to help their church improve, here are 24 signs of a super healthy church.
Finding someone to marry seems like a mysterious process. And in some ways it really is. God has a plan for you full of twists and turns, and if you are called to marriage, God knows just how he is going to bring your future husband or wife into your life.
While Christian singles certainly must trust and submit to the sovereignty of God, that doesn’t mean God has not outlined specific actions that will increase your chances of getting married. While finding the one will always have elements of mystery to it, there are always reasons for everything, including why you are not married.
What follows is not an exhaustive list of reasons you’re not married. These are just some of the most common reasons, or roadblocks (depending how you look at), for why many Christian singles are not married.
Loyalty and love. Are these not one in the same? When loyal you are loving and when loving you are loyal. Love remains because it’s loyal, and loyalty exists because of love. Who can separate these two?
Sequels are usually not nearly as good as the original film or book in a series. Most sequels fail to live up to the greatness of the original story because they are trying to recreate the magic that happened the first time rather than building on the story. They try to go through the same plot progression as the first story, the characters end getting into the same trouble, and the whole point of the movie is simply to redo the first one under a different title.
Do you know that we can do that in our lives too? It’s good to look back at our past with fond memories. But there are countless dangers that come with idolizing our past.
There’s been a lot said to Christian singles who desire to find a spouse. “Just pray about it.” “Just serve Jesus and he’ll take care of it.” “Stop desiring to be married and then God will bless you with a Christian spouse.” “Just get on a Christian dating site already and stop talking to me about this all the time!”
When it comes down to it, there seems to be two camps in the “How to find a Christian spouse” advice market. One group says just serve Jesus and it will take care of itself. The other group says God only helps those who help themselves.
So which is it? What’s the best way to find a Christian spouse?
Most Christians desire to give biblical counsel to those in need. Christians have been given amazing insight to humanities’ problems through the wisdom of God found within the Bible. But knowing the truth and counseling other people to understand the truth are entirely different.
So here are 3 tips for Christians who desire to offer biblical counsel to those in need.
Tip 1: Christians Must Show They Care Before They Offer Biblical Counsel
During my years as a pastor, I had a reoccurring experience while counseling people at public places like coffee shops or restaurants. I would be right in the middle of offering biblical counsel to someone and a nearby Christian who neither of us knew would over hear our conversation and chime in with their thoughts.
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you deeply? Sadly this is a question every human will have to answer if they hope to keep their heart healthy.
If you have close friends, relatives you love, a spouse, children, or any other significant relationship, the possibility for hurt will never leave and thus forgiveness will always be deeply needed.
Therefore, the first step in forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply is to prepare in advance before the hurt even happens.
Expectations and desires are such a beautiful and yet dangerous part of life. To have a dream, let alone seeing it fulfilled, creates a feeling in your heart that is essential for a meaningful life. To have desires is to have a heart that is alive. If you feel nothing, hope for nothing, never have a dream, it probably means you have lost your heart and passion for life. But how do we maintain joy when we have unmet expectations, for as the Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”