How can you have a blessed Christian relationship? How can you have God’s favor on your Christian dating relationship? Why do some Christian marriages seem so happy while others seem to always be struggling
When God is pleased with us, this does not mean our lives will be perfect. Hard relationship seasons of life are not an automatic sign that a couple is living in sin. Rather, those who truly find God’s favor in a Christian relationship will be those who still love and respect one another even when life is not perfect.
While we cannot ensure the details of our lives will be one way or the other, there are biblical principles that Christians should respect if they want God’s blessing on their relationship. Here are 4 ways to have God’s favor on your Christian relationship.
If You Want God’s Favor on You Christian Relationship, You Must Obey God’s Word
If you want to know how relationships are supposed to work, you must start with how they were designed. You won’t know how humans were designed if you ignore the words of the Designer. James 1:25 explains:
But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. “
If you want a blessed relationship you need a biblical relationship. God won’t place his favor on you if you are not living faithfully by his instructions. I don’t mean that God will reward you with a great relationship if you glorify him. He may bring you into a relationship or he may not. What I mean is that it is impossible for relationships to work correctly if the people in those relationships don’t live biblically.
The word of God is a path to favor with God. Again, not because you are earning something through good works but rather because the works God calls us to do will naturally produce good in our lives. God’s word is for our benefit (Proverbs 3:3-8).
If You Want God’s Favor on Your Christian Relationship, You Must First Be Willing to Be Single
The Bible does not say that singleness is better than marriage for everyone. However, when you read through 1 Corinthians 7, for example, you can see that the Bible does emphasize a special value on singleness because it allows us to better focus on God.
So I do not believe every Christian needs to want to be single. I do not believe you should feel bad if you want to be married. I do, however, believe that every Christian would be better off if they came to a place in their heart where they would be willing to be single if God called them to this. You don’t have to pretend you would like being single your whole life, but would you do it if God called you to singleness? Or would you be mad at God and turn away from him if he never gave you a Christian relationship?
The reason this is important if you want God’s favor in a Christian relationship is because God will not bless you with an idol. If you are idolizing relationships God cannot bless you with a Christian relationship. But when you are free to love God regardless of whether or not he will bless you with a Christian marriage or with Christian singleness, then you are in a position to receive God’s best for you.
Lastly, if you never come to this place of following God joyfully even if you remain single forever, you will have less confidence that a relationship really is from God when he does bring someone into your life. If you want a relationship more than you want God, then you will always wonder if you are just forcing a relationship to happen because you want it so bad or if the relationship is happening because God actually wants it for you.
Recently someone left a comment on by article called “Unwanted Christian Singleness.” Here’s what she said:
I will never accept singleness. I served God for years. So here I am at age 70 and still alone. I do not go to church anymore and I don’t plan on it. This is a punishment from God. . . . I am bitter and hopeless and depressed. I hope I die soon.”
This is sad and an extreme example of what can happen when we refuse to be joyful in God unless he brings us a relationship. Sometimes the more you want something the further you get from attaining it.
So if you want the favor of the Lord on your Christian relationship one day, it starts with finding your joy in God first and foremost. When you are ready to be joyful in him even if you remain single forever, you are much readier to have a successful relationship one day than if you refuse to love God unless he gives you the relationship you desperately crave.
Pray Together If You Want God’s Favor
The more you both connect with God together in prayer, the more the two of you will be connected to one another as well. Pursuing the Lord with someone will draw you closer to that person.
You should certainly pray that God would grant his favor on your relationship, but that is not the most important way prayer will bring God’s favor on you both. When a husband and wife pray together, they are allowing God to soften their hearts about the things they are praying for.
My wife and I learned early on that if we did not pray together we fought a lot more. Now we try to make it our regular practice to pray when we first come together. Whether that be when we see each other in the morning or when we get home from work, we ask God to refresh us from the day and to bless our time together.
These types of prayers are so important because through our prayers God blesses us with his presence which in turn brings his favor on our relationship.
Use Your Relationship to Honor God, Don’t Try to Honor God So You Have a Successful Relationship
Lastly, the motivation for your relationship will be one of the most important factors over the long-haul. Many times people try to love God so that he will give them a great relationship. However, this is not really loving God. This is a love for a relationship and you are trying to manipulate God to give you what you really want.
As Christians we know that God created us to glorify him. So we know that God wants us to glorify him. Sometimes we use this knowledge and internally say something like, “If I glorify God he will bring favor on my relationship.” Again, this is using the glory of God as a means to an end rather than an end goal in and of itself.
Rather than try to glorify God to have a successful relationship, the best motive is to seek to have a successful Christian relationship to glorify God. Rather than use the glory of God to get a relationship, Christians are called to use their relationship for the glory of God.
If you want God to bless you with his favor, you must learn that the best possible life is the life totally focused on glorifying God. This does not mean you don’t pursue other things like a career, friendships, or a Christian marriage. Rather, it means that you use these other things all for the same purpose – for the glory of God.
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