Here are 5 things the Holy Spirit will do in your life to protect you from getting into a hurtful relationship.
1. The Holy Spirit Will Protect You from a Bad Relationship By Directing Your Thoughts
So much of the good and bad in our lives actually starts in our minds. Our thoughts are like the steering wheel on a car. The twists and turns we make in life start in our minds. Our minds literally control where we are headed. As Romans 8:5-6 states:
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
If you want to stay out of a bad relationship that will end up hurting you, you must keep your mind in-step with the Spirit’s leading. When we let our minds get set on fleshly relationships, we will then let our bodies get into these worldly relationships too.
2. The Holy Spirit Will Protect You from a Bad Relationship By Opening Your Eyes to God’s Will
Perhaps you are wondering if you removed someone from your life too soon. Or perhaps you are wondering if you should have removed someone from your life a long time ago already. Or perhaps you really like someone but you are just really confused about what God wants.
If you want to know God’s will, it starts by seeing God’s word accurately through the Holy Spirit’s power to illuminate Scripture. As 1 Corinthians 2:10-15 (NIV) explains:
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments.”
If you want to know God’s thoughts about something, you need the Holy Spirit’s help to rightly apply God’s word to the questions you are asking. God has revealed his thoughts to us in the Bible, and the Spirit will help you rightly apply his word to all aspects of your life, including your relationships.
3. The Holy Spirit Will Protect You from a Bad Relationship By Lovingly Convicting You of the Preliminary Sins that Will Lead You Into This Hurtful Relationship
There are almost always red flags before the major wounds occur. One of those red flags are the little temptations coming into our lives through someone. Big sins are almost always preceded by smaller sins. As Romans 6:19 states, “For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.”
Note it states, “lawlessness leading to more lawlessness.” This is what happens in bad relationships. There are always precursory sins that lead to more hurtful sins. The Spirit will protect you from getting hurt in a bad relationship by convicting you of the “little sins” you are starting to commit with this person which will always lead to more hurtful sins down the line (John 16:8).
Additionally, the Spirit will help you not overlook the unrepented “little sins” being committed against you by this person which are really warning signs for the greater hurts in your future if you stay with this person.
4. The Holy Spirit Will Protect You from a Bad Relationship By Helping You Rightly Assess People’s Character Through Biblical Discernment
So many Christians have been wrongly taught that all judgement is sinful. This is just not true.
In the Bible we are told to not judge people’s motives because as humans we don’t know people’s hearts (Matthew 7:1, 1 Corinthians 4:5, 1 Samuel 16:7). But we are told to assess people’s actions and judge them accordingly (1 Corinthians 5:11-13, Matthew 7:6, Galatians 6:1). Assuming the best of everyone even though they are showing you red flags is not wise. It’s foolish. It’s not unloving to be real with yourself about what you are actually seeing in someone.
There really are people out there with bad intentions for you. As 2 Peter 2:18 states, “For, speaking loud boasts of folly, they entice by sensual passions of the flesh those who are barely escaping from those who live in error.” 2 Timothy 3:13 also says, “. . . evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.”
Therefore, we must rightly judge people’s actions through a biblical lens. As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 states, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”
5. The Holy Spirit Will Protect You from a Bad Relationship By Causing You to Pursue and Obey God More Than Anything Else in Life
God designed the human heart to function properly only when God himself is at the center.
Without following God’s design, our hearts will always get hurt. Therefore, if you want to have a healthy, loving relationship, it starts with loving God more than anything else. Through the Spirit, we must always fan into flame our passion for God. As Paul said to Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:6-9 (NIV):
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.”