Every Christian single who desires marriage eventually faces a crossroads: you can either cling to your romantic ideals or submit your love life to biblical truth.
If you want to meet the one God has for you, here are 12 hard biblical truths you must accept.
1. You’ll Never Be Totally Ready for a Godly Relationship
James 1:16-17, “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
When you deserve something, it’s not a gift. Ultimately, everything good is a gift because we don’t fully deserve it.
If you run from relationships until you feel completely ready to be in a relationship, you will always be running from relationships. The truth is, no one is ever perfectly prepared to meet the love of their life.
In fact, a biblical marriage is meant to help us continue to be sanctified. It’s not meant to be for perfect people. It’s for a man and woman who want to keep growing in the Lord together.
I’m not saying everyone is ready for a relationship. However, many Christians put too much pressure on themselves. Remember, marriage is a gift from God. And gifts are not deserved. They are expressions of grace.
2. God’s Will for Your Life May Involve Long Seasons of Waiting
Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him . . .”
Waiting is not wasted time; it’s spiritual training. Waiting teaches you to trust God’s wisdom over your feelings. Think of Joseph in prison or Ruth gleaning in the fields; both were in waiting seasons when God was preparing divine appointments. If you want a marriage built on God’s timing, you must first radically accept God’s leading, no matter how long or fast it takes.
3. You Must Kill the Idol of Marriage Before You’re Ready for It
Exodus 20:3, “You shall have no other gods before me.”
When the desire for marriage outweighs the desire for God, he often delays the blessing until the order is right. Many singles pray for love but secretly worship it. God doesn’t compete with idols. He won’t give you something that will take his place in your heart. Until you can say, “Even if I stay single, Jesus is enough,” you’re not ready for marriage that glorifies him.
4. God Will Prioritize Character Over Compatibility When Giving You a Spouse
1 Samuel 16:7, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Culture tells you to make a list of preferences—height, career, personality—but God’s priority list is different. He’s shaping you into someone who loves sacrificially, forgives quickly, and walks in humility. Compatibility without character always crumbles. When your heart reflects God’s heart, you’ll attract someone who values what God values.
5. You Might Have to Walk Away from Someone You Deeply Care About
Proverbs 14:12, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
Sometimes the hardest obedience is letting go of a relationship that feels right but isn’t God’s will. Emotions can deceive you. Many Christians hold onto relationships out of fear of being alone, but God calls you to trust his “no,” which leads you to his “yes.” Walking away may hurt now, but it saves you from years of future regret.
6. Attraction Isn’t a Reliable Foundation for Marriage
Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Physical and emotional chemistry matter, but they fade fast if there’s no shared faith and maturity beneath them. Praying together, serving together, seeking God together – these are the things that will fuel your marriage for decades. If your relationship is built only on feelings and chemistry triggered by physical images of each other, you’re building a house on sand.
7. God’s Path to Love Often Involves Pain and Refinement
James 1:2-4, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
There’s always a purpose in the pain God allows us to go through (Hebrews 12:7-11). Never waste your suffering. The refining process isn’t punishment; it’s preparation. Without it, you’d sabotage the very relationship you’ve been praying for. Oftentimes, the faster you learn the lessons, the quicker the painful seasons will pass.
8. Your Spouse Will Not Complete You
Colossians 2:10, “And you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority.”
Hollywood sells the lie that love is about “finding your missing half.” But if you’re a real Christian, you’re not a half. You’re already complete in Christ!
A godly marriage is not two halves becoming one whole; it’s two complete people uniting to glorify God. When you expect another person to fulfill you, you’ll crush them under the weight of a need only God can satisfy.
9. You Must Forgive Those Who Hurt You Before You Can Love Someone New
Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger . . . be put away from you . . . forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Unhealed bitterness from past relationships poisons future connections. If you’re still replaying what someone did to you, you’re not emotionally free to love again. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. It means releasing the person to God and allowing Christ to pay the penalty they deserve. Until your heart is free from resentment, you’ll project old wounds onto new people.
10. You Can’t Rush God’s Plan
Ecclesiastes 3:11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
When you try to force God’s timing, all you are really doing is creating chaos in your life. Think of Abraham and Sarah. They wanted God’s promise, but they didn’t wait for God’s timing; as a result, they created a whole lot of chaos when they tried to use Hagar for their own purposes.
11. God’s Path for Each Person Will Be Unique
Galatians 6:4, “But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.”
Comparison is one of Satan’s most effective weapons against contentment. Watching your friends marry can stir jealousy and despair. Thus, you have to remember that their timeline isn’t yours. God writes unique love stories with unique pacing. The moment you compare, you lose sight of the personal story he’s creating for you.
12. You’ll Never Find “The One” Until You First Become the One
Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Everyone wants a godly spouse, but fewer people focus on becoming a godly spouse. God often withholds the right person until you’ve learned how to give true love, which is all about sacrifice. Only when a husband and wife are able to serve each other can true love take place.
If you’re a Christian single woman who wants to be pursued into marriage by a godly man, my newest book is for you! It’s called Invite Him: 16 Rules from Ruth to Help Your Future Husband Find You.
