If you are a Christian man, one of the ways God will show you who to marry is by leading your wife to identify herself to you.
How will she do this? Here are 3 biblical ways your future wife will identify herself to you.
1. Your Future Wife Will Identify Herself to You By Inspiring You to Be a Better Man
I’m not saying that you should wait for a woman who you want to marry before you get your act together. As Christian men, the main motivation for developing is so we can glorify God and enjoy him forever. Even when you do meet the woman you want to marry, ultimately your motivation for pursuing her must be rooted in wanting to glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31).
With that said, in a secondary type of way, when you meet the woman you will marry, she will motivate you to want to be a better man than you currently are. In other words, she will inspire you to take on more responsibility, to work harder, to take your faith even more serious, and to realize your actions have real consequences on other people God has called you to care for. She will enhance your seriousness in living your life in a meaningful and responsible way.
After God made Eve for Adam, Genesis 2:24 then states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The “therefore” here is directly linked to Adam meeting Eve.
In other words, when a man meets his future wife, she will inspire him to reach another level of biblical masculinity. He will leave immaturity behind and seek to be the mature man God has called him to be.
2. Your Future Wife Will Identify Herself to You By Rejecting Other Men and Accepting Your Pursuit
The man is the pursuer. So in a way, he is the one who usually first identifies himself to the woman when it comes to romantic interest.
However, the woman has an equally important role in that she must either reject or accept his pursuit. Not only that, since men are the pursuers, she will not only need to accept one man’s pursuit but she will also need to be rejecting any other pursuers as well.
In short, if she’s allowing another man to pursue her, that’s a strong sign she’s not the one for you. Of course if that relationship doesn’t work out and then you pursue and she accepts, that certainly can be healthy. But in general, when a woman could have waited for you or she rejected you and accepted another man’s pursuit, this is a clear sign she’s not your future wife.
While that might seem overly simplistic and thus unnecessary to point out, I’ve talked to far too many men who get overly attached to one woman in their past and hold onto a slim hope that somehow she will come back on the market and then they will get married one day.
Keep it simple. Pursue the woman you like and then accept the facts about how she responds. If a woman doesn’t like you, she will reject you and accept others. If a woman does like you, she will accept you and reject others. It really is that simple.
As Boaz said to Ruth, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich” (Ruth 3:10).
3. Your Future Wife Will Identify Herself to You By Complimenting Your Masculinity with Her Femininity
Many men look at the biblical requirements for romance as a barrier to finding love. They wish they could date non-Christian women because they think this would increase their chances of making a connection. However, when used properly, God’s word will not slow you down in meeting a woman. Rather, it will increase the speed in which you can find your future wife.
In other words, one of the great relationship advantages of being a Christian is that we have the word of God to give us very clear standards to fulfill in relationships. These standards are not overly complicated and the list is not long. But when you read the Bible passages about the marriage relationship (for example, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7), it’s very clear that the man and woman have equally important roles that are different and that compliment each other.
If a woman wants to play the man’s role in the relationship, she’s not the one for you. If a woman can’t play the woman’s role in the relationship, she’s not the one for you. Your future wife will identify herself to you by first identifying herself as a godly woman who is spiritually prepared to fulfill her biblical role as a wife.
When you two come together, her femininity will compliment your masculinity and you two will display a more complete picture of God’s image than you could by yourselves (Genesis 1:27).