Here are 3 signs God is showing you that someone is just not right for you.
1. If the Two of You Can Never Seem to Get the Timing Right, This Is Usually a Sign It’s Just Not Meant to Be
In one sense, the timing will never be perfect in life for anything. When we wait for perfection, we are often paralyzed and left frozen in time. I love how C.S. Lewis put it when he was talking about getting our work done. He said:
“If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come.”
So before we can talk about the importance of timing in a relationship, I think it is first wise to emphasize the need to be flexible and to push through the imperfections of our situations. There will always be something in life making it hard to be in a relationship, but if you wait until your circumstances are perfect, you might completely miss all your opportunities to be in a relationship anyways.
With that said, while I don’t believe “timing is everything” as many people say, I do believe timing is something really important if the relationship is meant to work out. Sometimes someone likes you but you don’t like them at that moment. But then you start to like them but now they don’t seem to like you anymore. When this seems to be going on and on with no end in sight, usually this means you should not keep trying to make this work.
When the timing just never seems to work with someone, the most probable reason for this is because the two of you are just not meant to be. When God truly wants you with someone, eventually the timing will align and that game of constantly missing each other will just stop and you two will be in a relationship.
When the game just keeps going on and on, it’s time to let it go and accept this person is just not right for you. For as Psalm 31:14-15 states, “But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hand . . . .”
2. If There’s a Disparity in the Level of Your Desire for One Another, This Is a Sign This Person Is Just Not Right for You
Not only do two people both want to be with one another, for the relationship to progress into a healthy Christian relationship headed towards a biblical marriage, eventually both the man and the woman need to want to be with each other with the same intensity level.
Unhealthy relationships are marked by a power struggle. In problematic relationships, one person withholds love as a way to control the other person. Oftentimes the roles switch back and forth and whoever seems most detached holds the most control in the relationship because this makes the other person so insecure he or she obeys the other person more.
Healthy relationships don’t work like this. When a Christian relationship is meant to be, both the man and the woman will be vulnerable enough to fully open up and love the other person. Just before Paul goes into the specific roles for both the husband and the wife in Ephesians 5:22-33, in Ephesians 5:21 he states to both of them, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
So if there is a continual disparity in the level of love you both are willing to give one another, this is a sign this person is just not right for you.
3. If Your Beliefs About God and Your Lifestyle Choices Are Drastically Different, This Is a Sign This Person Is Just Not Right for You
The most basic biblical requirement for any godly marriage is that both the husband and wife be godly people who love the Lord through Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39). But two Christian can still be so different that the relationship will just never work.
While I believe it can be wise to sometimes try to date a Christian man or woman who differs than you in certain beliefs and lifestyle choices just to see if it can work, you don’t want to try and force this type of relationship to work either. The fact that two people both believe in Jesus and love God is not an automatic guarantee that their beliefs and lifestyle choices are close enough that a relationship will work for them.
When arguments, dissatisfaction, and frustrations just keep coming and coming because of your differences when it comes to God and your lifestyle choices, this is a sign this person is just not right for you.