It shouldn’t be our normal practice to block people from our lives in an extreme way. If, for example, you like a man but it doesn’t work out, you may need to distance yourself for a bit so you can move on; but it’s not necessary to go to severe lengths so there is no evidence of his presence at all in your life.
However, at certain times, there are men who will come into your life that God will tell you to have nothing to do with. Therefore, here are 3 signs the Lord is leading you to remove a man from your life.
1. If This Man Is a Link to Your Old Life that God Is Telling You to Give Up for Him, You Have to Block This Man from Your Life
Maybe you got sucked into worldliness during your college years but now the Lord is helping you repent. You’ve found it easy to let all that go except for this one guy you always really cared about. The only problem is, this man loves worldliness. Every time you are with him, you end up around all your old friends and you start living in that sinful way you know you have to let go of. 1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) explains:
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.”
If this man is linking you to your old love for the world, you have to remove him. As Jesus said in Luke 9:62, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
2. If This Man Is Fleshly and He Has No Interest in Repenting, You Have to Block Him from Your Life
People are not content to live in sin themselves. They will always try to include you in their sin. So even if you really want to please the Lord but you are spending time with a man who just wants to gratify his flesh, eventually he will wear you down and you will get sucked into fleshly desires as well. As Galatians 6:7-8 explains:
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
I find it interesting how 1 Corinthians 15:33 starts the same way, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” Paul warns us not to be deceived because this is an issue we so easily get deceived about. We say things to ourselves like:
- “I know this man is not a Christian. But he seems open. I’ll just be really careful around him.
- “I know he wants to have sex with me, but I know I will never have sex before marriage again. I’ll just spend time with him but keep telling him no when he makes a move on me.
- “Even though this man is showing zero evidence of being a Christian, he said he was. Who am I to judge? What if this is my godly husband?”
Never gaslight yourself. When you know what is right, don’t use mental gymnastics to convince yourself otherwise. God’s laws are not meant to restrict our joy but to increase it. Remember, if you seek to please the Spirit instead of the flesh, the word of God promises that the Lord will reward you (James 1:25).
3. If This Man Is a Placeholder Until You Meet the Man You Want to Marry, You Have to Remove Him from Your Life
If you are a Christian woman who longs to be in a godly marriage with a Christian man, this is a good desire. God gave you that desire (1 Corinthians 7:7). It pleases the Lord for his daughters to be married for his glory.
However, sometimes this desire becomes the focus of our life. When that happens, we start making poor choices in hopes of getting what we want as soon as possible. Sometimes a woman wants to be married so bad that she entertains relationships with men that she knows she will never marry so she can get little sips of romantic joy.
While spending time with a placeholder type of guy might feel good now, it is really just delaying you from experiencing what you really want. The fastest way to an enjoyable Christian marriage is obeying the word of God from your heart.
When you let go of marriage and put God first, you are then free to pick that desire back up but to keep it in its rightful place. As Jesus said, “For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:32-33).