Christian purity is not something you are born with. In fact, the Scriptures teach us that every human was born with a sin nature (Psalm 51:5). Thus, we do not sin and become sinful. Rather, we sin because we are sinful.
Therefore, if you are a Christian who wants to be a pure bride or groom, you must turn to Christ alone for your purification. Even if you are virgin, that type of purity is not enough. Only through the purifying process of the gospel can you be made pure.
Here are 3 signs God might be saying, “I’m purifying you now so you will be ready for your future marriage.”
1. You Are in a Season of Purification if You Are Becoming Aware of Your Own Sinfulness
Perhaps you just got out of a bad relationship that involved sexual immorality. Perhaps you have been struggling with porn or masturbation. Or maybe you know your thought life has been out of control for some time. In love, God will bring a heavy conviction on your heart that is undeniable.
When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, he was not immediately repentant. To purify him, God had to humble David and make him aware of his wrongdoings. In 2 Samuel 12, God sends the prophet Nathan to rebuke David. Only then does David come to his senses and realize how far he had strayed from God.
This is what leads us to Psalm 51, which is David’s prayer of repentance regarding his sin with Bathsheba. In verses 1-3 it states:
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.”
The “For” at the beginning of verse 3 shows us that David’s awareness of his sin is the reason for why he is calling out to God to cleanse him. You cannot be purified from sin without first receiving God’s loving conviction of sin.
2. If You Are Turning Away from the Opposite Sex for Your Validation and Turning Towards Jesus, This Is a Great Sign God Is Purifying You for Marriage
One of the sneakiest ways Satan ruins marriages is by tempting the man and woman to ask too much from each other. Yes, marriage is a good thing. Yes, human love is very good. But if you turn to a man or woman to find your validation as a person, you will always end up feeling lost and alone. You will bounce from person to person, always asking, “Am I lovable? Do I have value? Am I worth anything?”
Only when you have those questions answered by God first can you then enter into a relationship and function properly. When your identify is not rooted in Christ as God’s son or daughter, you will ask too much from other people, giving them too much power over you, which never turns out well.
When David was repenting of his sin with Bathsheba, he prayed in Psalm 51:4-6, which states:
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”
David actually sinned against many people, not just God. However, David said “Against you, you only have I sinned” because he was coming back to the root of every sin – forsaking God. While we sin against others in our lives, those sins always stem from our rebellion against God. David was saying that he knew he had to get right with God before he could be right in any other part of his life.
Likewise, if you want to be right for your future marriage, you have to get right with God.
3. If You Are Turning to God for the Joy and Purity Your Heart Needs, This Is a Great Sign the Lord Is Purifying You, Which Will Also Make You Ready for Marriage
Once you’ve been convicted and turned from your idols, you have to cry out the Lord for what you had been looking for in all those false lovers. You pursued all those relationships because you lacked God’s joy. You slept with all those people because you lacked God’s purity. You wasted so much time because you did not know your God-giving purpose.
Notice how David continues his prayer of repentance in Psalm 51:7-12, which states:
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”
Like David, the purifying process starts with asking. Just ask for Christ to forgive and purify you and he will. And then as time goes on, the Holy Spirit will keep sanctifying you through helping you apply his word to your life (Ephesians 5:26).
As you grow and mature in these ways, God will also be preparing you for marriage if that is his will for you.