Proverbs 31:10
Is she the one? Does God want you and her to date one day? Or is this just wishful thinking?
While we certainly cannot know the future, God does give us evidence to follow in the present. In other words, God will lead you towards the right relationship with a woman through certain signs.
Therefore, when God is leading a man and woman to be together, here are 3 signs God will use to help the man know what to do.
1. If the Necessary Preliminary Stages to Dating/Courting Are Occurring, This Is Good Evidence God May Want You and This Woman Together One Day
What do I mean by “the necessary preliminary stages to dating”? Just as human development always progresses in a crawl-walk-run progression, the same thing must occur in relationships.
Many times men get confused about the will of God regarding a woman because they are living in their heads too much. If you’ve never talked to a woman but you feel God is saying you two will date, you should not take this feeling very seriously until you get more evidence.
I’m not saying you should ignore what you feel God is saying to you about a woman. However, I do think you need to be extra cautious because it is more likely you are mishearing God when you lack external evidence that confirms the internal suspicions you are having about this woman.
Examples of “the necessary preliminary stages to dating” would include things like:
- Talking to her and you both enjoying the conversation.
- Connecting emotionally with each other in a way that goes beyond politeness.
- Spending time together outside of mutually shared places like work, school, or church.
Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
The world’s way of dealing with relationships includes wishful thinking and being fueled by your fleshly desires. God’s ways will lead a man to be wise, to live in reality, and to do things that are pleasing to the Spirit.
2. If You Two Are Connecting Spiritually and Share Common Christian Beliefs, This Is Good Evidence God May Want You Two Together
When God is truly involved in a connection there will be at least two elements present: First, there will be a unity over core biblical beliefs. Second, there will be a personal willingness and enjoyment in connecting with each other.
Some men find a woman that they connect with spiritually but this woman has extremely different core beliefs. To be equally yoked, a man and woman, at minimum, must believe the same thing about Jesus – that he is truly the Son of God who came to take away the sins of the world (John 1:29). As 1 Corinthians 15:3-5 explains:
For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve.”
However, when God wants a man and woman together, there will be more than a shared belief about Jesus. All Christians are called to have unity about the truths of Jesus. But for a Christian romantic relationship to occur, a man and woman must be able to connect spiritually in a way that goes beyond being a brother and sister in Christ. For example:
- They should enjoy talking to each other about their beliefs
- They should be an encouragement to each other on their Christian walk.
- They should be able to help support each other through hard times.
- They should be able to compliment each other’s masculinity and femininity.
In other words, they should want to be something more than fellow Christians. As Paul said when talking about Christians choosing to marry, “if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin” (1 Corinthians 7:36).
3. If You Are Feeling Like the Loving Thing to Do Is to Offer More Commitment to This Woman, This Is a Good Sign God Is Probably Leading You Two Together
When a man is walking with God, one of the guiding questions in his life will be, “What is the best way I can love this person?”
If, for example, your life is a mess right now and it would be unloving to invite a woman into it, God is probably not leading you to pursue this woman. If, however, you are growing with the Lord and you feel like God is telling you it’s time to be more intentional about finding a wife, perhaps God is leading you to pursue her.
Additionally, many times a man and woman start connecting naturally in friendship, which is very good. However, eventually a man and woman always reach a limit of what is healthy. To keep things honoring and truthful, if they want to keep connecting and growing, they usually need to increase the level of their commitment to each other.
In other words, eventually a man and woman who are just friends need to become a boyfriend and girlfriend so that they can go to the next level together. Likewise, eventually a boyfriend and girlfriend either need to break up or get married.
So rather than looking for a religious formula (Galatians 5:6) to know when God is leading you to date a woman, instead ask yourself, “What is the most loving thing to do in this situation?” If you know it’s time to step up and offer more, usually this is a good sign God is leading you to date this woman.
