1 John 4:7-8
A foundation is the most important part of any building. Likewise, when it comes to God building your future marriage, the foundation is one of the most important parts.
Here are 4 signs God is building a strong foundation for a man and woman so they can have a healthy marriage together one day.
1. God Builds a Strong Foundation for Marriage By Teaching the Man and Woman the Meaning of Life
When we think of having a biblical marriage that pleases the Lord, we often think about romantic love like in the Song of Solomon, the roles of husbands and wives as outlined in Ephesians 5:21-33, and how to honor the Lord with our sexuality as described in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5).
While all of these parts of Scripture certainly are very important if you want to have a biblical relationship, before we get to the specific relationship principles in Scripture, we have to place those principles in their larger context. While the Bible certainly does have many powerful, practical principles that will aid us in living a strategic and wise life, the main theme of Scripture is much larger than personal happiness.
According to Scripture, the meaning of human life is to enjoy God (Philippians 4:4) and glorify him forever (1 Corinthians 10:31). This is accomplished in many ways, but the primary way we accomplish our mission is by receiving God’s love and loving him in return (1 John 4:19, Matthew 22:37-38).
This lesson has to come first because marriage has to serve your overall purpose of loving God if you want to have a healthy relationship with your spouse one day.
2. God Builds a Strong Foundation for Marriage By Teaching the Man and Woman to Love Each Other Out of the Love God Has Given Them
When Jesus was asked what the most important law in all of God’s word was, in Matthew 22:37-40, he answered:
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
It’s important to highlight how Jesus linked these two commands even though he was only asked, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36). Jesus was teaching us that you can’t really accomplish the first commandment without the second and you can’t accomplish the second without the first. In other words, if you love God, you will express this through your love for people. And if you want to love people, you have to first love God. Only when you are rightly aligned and filled with God’s love can you serve others as God desires us to do.
Notice how this link is again expressed in 1 John 4:7-8, which states, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” Why must we love others? Because we are supposed to have the love of God. If you really have the love of God, you will always have love for people.
Therefore, when it comes to having a loving marriage, God will give you a firm foundation by teaching you both to receive God’s love first so you can then love God and your spouse for his glory.
3. God Builds a Strong Foundation for Marriage By Teaching the Man and Woman How to Go Through Hard Things in a Christ-Honoring Way
If you do not know how to swim, you could die if you fall into the water. What’s the best solution to this problem? It’s not realistic to avoid all bodies of water for your whole life. Rather, the best way to safe from drowning is to learn how to swim.
Likewise, if you want a healthy marriage that is enjoyable and full of love, it’s not realistic to try to accomplish this goal by avoiding all difficulties. Eventually hard things will happen. Two sinful people will always make mistakes together. Therefore, the real way for a man and woman to have a healthy relationship together is for them to learn how to get through hard times in a Christ-honoring way.
You can’t expect to never sin against each other. But you can learn to forgive one another when you do sin (Ephesians 4:32). You can’t expect to always communicate perfectly. But you can learn how to work through misunderstandings (Ephesians 4:15). You won’t always know what the best path is. But you can learn how to seek God’s wisdom so he can guide you (Proverbs 3:5-6).
4. God Builds a Strong Foundation for Marriage By Teaching the Man and Woman How to Truly Love Someone
Love is the foundation of a biblical marriage. God is love, thus you can’t have love without God (1 John 4:8).
However, what does it mean to actually express love for another human? It means you sacrifice yourself for them. It means you put their needs above your own. As Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12-13).
