Here are 3 signs that mean Satan is trying to deceive you and make you believe someone is the one God wants you to marry when they are actually not the one God has for you.
1. An Over Dependence on Very Debatable Signs Is Itself a Sign that Satan May Be Trying to Trick You that This Person Is The One
When it comes to knowing God’s will about a particular relationship, he can speak in many ways. Some of the ways, however, are much easier to know for certain it really is God and not just wishful thinking or a coincidence.
God’s word, for example, is very clear. The actual events that occur in our lives are very clear. So if someone says they hate God and the word of God says not to join with people who hate God (James 4:4), this is obviously a sign God does not want you with this person. Or if this person marries someone else, that is a clear circumstantial piece of evidence God is saying this is not the one.
Satan, however, will try to deceive you by tempting you to be overly dependent on other forms of signs which can be much more easily misunderstood or debated. Can God give you a dream to help you know this person is the one? Yes. But can that dream also just be your own mind manifesting the thoughts you had throughout the day? Also yes. Can God be telling you in your heart that this is the one he has for you? Yes. But can that feeling in you also just be your own wishful thinking. Of course it can.
I’m not saying to ignore what you sense during your prayer times or to ignore the sense you have about this person being the one. Just also be aware that you can be deceived and it is wiser to put more weight on the clearer signs like God’s word and the actual real-life events that are happening.
Relationships are confusing, but God’s signs are not confusing. When God really speaks, it will be clear. Sure, there might be some confusion as you mature in learning to hear the voice of God. There might be some confusion when you are in the process of really interpreting the evidence God is sending. But sooner or later, if you are listening and submitting to God, he will absolutely make his will clear to you about a particular relationship.
1 John 1:5 states, “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” Satan, on the other hand, thrives in the darkness. Things are clear when the lights are on. But when you are walking in the dark, that’s when you start tripping over everything and getting disoriented.
Therefore, it’s not a good sign when you are confused because you are overly depending on what you sense God is saying compared to what the evidence is telling you God is saying.
For more on this topic, I encourage you to read my article called 3 Confusing Things God Will Use to Reveal The One to You.
2. An Unhealthy Attachment that Causes You to Minimize and Endure Abuse from This Person Is a Sign Satan Is Trying to Trick You Into Believing This Person Is The One
If you’ve ever had a friend or family member in a relationship with someone who abuses them, either physically, emotionally, or verbally – you know how frustrating it can be when your friend or family member keeps giving this person chance after chance even though the abuse keeps occurring.
One reason this occurs is because people can form unhealthy attachments with people that completely warp their perception of reality. An attachment can be so strong that it overrules someone’s ability to logically look at an abusive relationship situation.
While this is easy to see when it’s not you, it can be extremely difficult to see this negative pattern when you are the one getting repeatedly abused because you have an unhealthy attachment keeping this person in your life. One common way Satan tries to form these attachments in people’s lives is to tempt them to believe this person is “the one.” When you believe this person is the one God has for you, your desire for the one can cause you to stay in this dysfunctional relationship far longer than you should.
You know this person is not good for you, but your heart craves to be married to the one. Your heart’s desire to be married to the one God has for you is not bad. God made certain people to want to be married. The problem in this situation is that you believe this person is the one when in fact they are not. Your desire for the one combined with your belief that this person is the one is causing you to put up with things you should not endure.
Don’t let Satan deceive you. If someone is continually verbally, physically, or emotionally abusing you, this person is not the one God has for you. As Proverbs 4:23 famously counsels, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
3. If You Are in a Relationship with Someone Because You Are Following Your Flesh Rather Than the Spirit, This Is a Sign Satan Is Tricking You About This Person Being The One
Satan cannot make you do anything. Whenever we disobey God and sin, there’s no one to blame but ourselves (James 1:14). But Satan can tempt us into sin (Luke 4:2), and the way he does this is by appealing to our flesh – the sin nature that is within us. As Galatians 5:19-24 teaches us:
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
If your relationship with this person is described by verses 19-21, this is a sign Satan is deceiving you. This is not the one God has for you. When God is leading a relationship, it won’t be perfect but it will be described by verses 20-24.
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