If you want to make perfect relationship decisions, this is not the article for you. Why? Because that’s impossible since we are not perfect people.
However, as Christians, we should always try to make better and better choices as life goes on. Therefore, here are 3 biblical things you can do that will help you make really good relationship choices.
1. Make Decisions Now that Prevent You from Needing to Make Unnecessarily Hard Relationship Decisions Later
Yes, hanging out with that unbeliever a little bit before it gets too serious may seem innocent. But what happens once you two start sharing more with each other and become emotionally attached?
Sure, you may have gone to the club recently and not hooked up with anyone. But what happens next time once you’ve had a few drinks and someone starts hitting on you that you find really attractive?
Yes, you may have been able to watch a movie with your boyfriend or girlfriend late at night and you avoided sexual sin that time. But what happens when you do this so much that your guard gets dropped, you both are tired, and your hormones are raging?
In Proverbs 5, we are warned about the dangers of a promiscuous person. Notice one solution given to us to avoid these bad relationships, “Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house” (Proverbs 5:8). In other words, it will be a lot easier to avoid this kind of temptation if you keep your distance from the beginning.
You are far more likely to make good decisions if you think ahead and try to avoid putting yourself in situations where it’s going to be very hard to make the right choice.
2. Accept the Principle that “a Little Almost Always Turns Into a Lot”
Have you ever noticed that whatever seat you pick on the first day of class, usually that is the seat you will sit in the rest of the semester? Some people wake up and read their Bible while other people wake up and start scrolling; but most of us do the same thing every morning whatever that may be. Why can’t you eat just one potato chip?
We are habit forming creatures. When we experience something we like, we almost always try to experience more of this. This is evidence of the principle that “a little almost always turns into a lot.” For example, Proverbs 6:10-11 states, “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.”
If you want to make good relationship choices, learn to make the right small choices, because those always lead to bigger choices later on. Yes, you want to marry the right person, but who are you texting with when you are single? Yes, you want to raise a family in the Lord. But how often do you read your Bible when you are unmarried? Yes, you want to be equally yoked in marriage, but are you equally yoked in your friendships?
If you want to make good relationship decisions, start by making good small relationship decisions, because for better or worse, a little almost always turns into a lot.
3. Accept What Is Rather than Searching for What Could Be
Perhaps the easiest way to get into a bad relationship is by thinking of what you hope this person will be rather than learning to accept the truth about who this person really is.
You may have wanted to marry a virgin who lived for the Lord their whole life. But this person that you’re falling in love with is not a virgin. Rather, they are someone who lived sinfully but has now repented and is committed to living a sexually pure life now. If you want them to be someone they are not, you may miss out on choosing to be in a great relationship.
You may be falling in love with someone who is a virgin but they are not really following the Lord in other areas of their life. If you want to be with someone who loves the Lord, you will get into an unequally yoked relationship if you are unwilling to see the truth that this person is not spiritually mature enough for you.
There are a million examples like this. Many times we get into relationships and then blame this person for not being who we thought they were. But in reality, this happens more often not because this person lied to us and showed us a false version of themselves but rather because we lied to ourselves and we saw the version of this person that we wanted to see (1 Peter 4:7).