When God reveals the one to you, this process will include both patience and action, waiting and moving forward, doing and letting God move on your behalf.
So here are 3 ways you can wait for the one without waiting in the wrong type of way.
1. God Wants You to Wait for The One Not By Remaining Still But Rather By Following Jesus
Waiting often implies sitting, stopping, and relying on others to come to you. But this is not a biblical view when you are waiting for a blessing that only God can give you.
Rather than interpreting “waiting” to mean “just standing still,” we should look at biblical examples of waiting to see how it also includes action. For example, in Psalm 27:14 David prayed, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” But when David stepped on the battlefield, he understood that waiting on God did not mean doing nothing. When he spoke to Goliath, he said, “This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head” (1 Samuel 17:46). After a different victory, David said in 1 Chronicles 14:11, “God has broken through my enemies by my hand, like a bursting flood.”
Notice how intertwined David’s “waiting on the Lord” was with “doing for the Lord.” David didn’t see God’s intervention as something that would happen apart from David’s participation. Rather, David waited on God to produce the right results through David’s participation in the story. The Lord delivered Goliath into his hand, but he did it through David striking Goliath down. God broke through his enemies like a bursting flood, but he did it through David’s hand.
Likewise, God’s not going to bring the one into your life apart from your actions and without your participation. Rather, God will bring the one into your life through your actions and participation in the story he is writing. Like David said: God will do it, but he will do it through your hands.
One way God will help you meet the one is by helping you follow Jesus and then seeing who else is with you as you follow Jesus. You are not alone in your desire to please the Lord. If you want to marry a spouse who will serve the Lord, you need to be serving alongside of other singles who are serving the Lord. Start running towards the Lord, and then look to the left and right to see who the Lord may have running beside you.
2. God Wants You to Wait for The One By Choosing Not to Date Someone You Already Know Is Not The One
Waiting on God is not about literally putting all of your life on hold and doing nothing but waiting for your future spouse to walk through your front door (James 2:17). Rather, waiting on God means you aren’t rushing into relationships that God is clearly telling you not to be in.
Dating is meant to be a tool to help you find the one. You are using this tool improperly if you are dating someone you already know you will not marry. If you know it’s fool’s gold, you don’t need to wear that fool’s gold ring for three months to see if it turns your skin green. If you’re unsure if the gold is real, then get it tested.
Likewise, if you aren’t sure if God wants you to marry someone, then perhaps God is telling you to date this person. But don’t date just to date. All you are doing is wasting your time and putting more distance between you being ready to date the person God will lead you to marry one day.
3. God Wants You to Wait for The One By Abstaining from Emotional and Sexual Promiscuity
Most Christians know the importance of waiting to have sex before marriage (Hebrews 13:4). Additionally, most struggle to obey this command. If you’ve had premarital sex, this does not mean you will never have a godly marriage. God’s grace is sufficient. We should repent of sexual sin because it’s harmful and it delays a healthy relationship from forming.
What is thought of far less, however, is the emotional promiscuity that often happens before marriage. Sex is not the only thing that is different between being boyfriend and girlfriend compared to being husband and wife. Sex is supposed to be a physical representation of the internal love and commitment that this husband and wife are giving each other.
Sadly, many Christians resist sexual sin but they cross healthy emotional boundaries, entering into places in the heart that should only be opened to your husband or wife. So God wants you to wait for the one not only by resisting sexual promiscuity but also by resisting emotional promiscuity.
What is emotional promiscuity, why is it so damaging, and how can you avoid it? I answer those questions in this article, Emotional Promiscuity: 5 Ways to Avoid Crossing Emotional Boundaries Before Marriage.