Psalm 51:1-2
Are bad things happening to you because of your past sexual sins? While God does forgive us our sins when we confess and repent, there are often still consequences for our bad choices.
So if you want to avoid bad things from happening to you, here are 5 reasons you should not have premarital sex.
1. God Allows the Pain of Walking Away from His Presence After You Have Premarital Sex
One reason God commands people not to have premarital sex is because God wants people to be where he is and God will not go where unholy acts are being practiced (1 Peter 1:14-16).
God’s commands are not random rules picked out of thin air. Rather, they reflect his character. When God states that sex should only be between a husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7:1-9, Hebrews 13:4), he says this because he is a covenant God. God made marriage and all that goes with marriage (like sex) as a way of reflecting the love relationship between Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
When we misuse our bodies sexually, we are walking away from the presence of God in our lives. I’m not saying God removes his Spirit from true Christians who sin. But I am saying that your fellowship with God is damaged when you sin, which then causes pain in your heart since you were made for fellowship with God (1 John 1:5-7).
So one reason God allows inner pain when you have premarital sex is to make you aware that you are distant from God’s presence. You can come back through grace, but you must repent and turn from your sins. As Galatians 5:24-26 states:
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”
2. God Allows a Decreased Motivation for Marriage After Premarital Sex
Certainly some people get married even when they are living in sin and practicing premarital sex. But these people will not be having the healthiest relationship possible and will suffer because they are not following the Lord (Galatians 6:7-8).
Many times, however, people who have premarital sex are notorious for remaining single for longer than they want. This occurs for multiple reasons:
- When a couple has premarital sex, they often act like they are married and thus don’t see the point in actually getting married.
- When individuals have premarital sex, especially when they are Christian, they know this is wrong and they know they want a holy marriage one day. So they know they are in a state unfit to have a healthy marriage, thus they do not actively seek marriage and remain single because they feel unworthy for a healthy Christian marriage.
- When you have premarital sex, you end up having more and more premarital sex because you feel like it doesn’t matter now anyways since you are no longer a virgin. This then causes you to play games and waste time in more sinful relationships which are not concerned with marriage.
When you abstain from premarital sex, however, you are more likely to take steps towards marriage because your healthy hunger for marriage will motivate you forward. As Proverbs 16:26 (NIV) states, “The appetite of laborers works for them; their hunger drives them on.”
3. People Who Have Premarital Sex Often Waste Their Youth and Thus Miss Out on the Prime Years to Find a Spouse
I’m not saying everyone who gets married later in life has done something wrong. And I’m not saying it’s hopeless for you if you are older but want to be married still. What I am saying is what we all know if we are being honest: It’s easier to meet someone when you are younger because more people are still unmarried.
Premarital sex causes people to waste their youth by messing around in godless relationships. By the time they come to their senses and feel they are ready to get married in a Christian relationship, they find it much harder to meet someone because so many people have already paired off.
Thus, those who choose to resist sexual sin in singleness are more likely to experience a godly marriage sooner. It’s counter cultural to marry young, but marrying young is certainly a healthy biblical option (Proverbs 5:18-19).
4. Premarital Sex Leads to an Undisciplined Life Where You Lack the Ability to Practice Delayed Gratification
God allows people to make choices that are not good for them. And one consequence of making bad choices is that you are training yourself to make more bad choices (Romans 6:19).
Temptation lures us by promising us immediate pleasure. And it often delivers on this promise of quick pleasure. But you have to read the fine print. Yes, you get a moment of pleasure, but then you get more pain after the pleasure. Not only will you feel bad about your sin, but your character is being corroded with every bad choice you make, thus making it easier and easier to make worse and worse decisions as life goes on.
Simple things like going into financial debt, being physically unhealthy, being lazy in your career, and many other parts of life will be harder and harder to succeed in the more you give into sinful sexual pleasure because you are training yourself to be weak-willed.
The more you practice delayed gratification, the more you are storing up good things for yourself in the future. As Galatians 6:9 states, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
5. Premarital Sex Causes You to Be Your Own Enemy
1 Corinthians 6:18 states, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” You are degrading yourself as God’s son or daughter when you give into premarital sex. As 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 continues to say:
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
No one is perfect. Premarital sex is not the unforgivable sin. But the reason God tells us to not have premarital sex is because it’s harmful to us. God loves us and wants the best for us. If you confess your sins and repent, he is faithful to forgive (1 John 1:9), he can make us pure in Christ (1 Corinthians 1:30), and he is able to empower our sanctification (1 Corinthians 6:19).
Do you want help controlling your body when it craves sex? Here’s an article called 3 Biblical Ways to Control Your Body When It Craves Sex So Bad.