Proverbs 13:12
If you really like someone that you can’t be with right now, it’s natural to pray, “Lord, if you don’t want me with this person, please take away my feelings for them.”
If God does not take away your feelings for this person, does this mean he wants you with them one day? Or is there some other explanation?
Here are 4 possible reasons God is not removing your feelings for someone.
1. If It’s the Right Person But the Wrong Time, God Won’t Remove Your Feelings for This Person
There’s always the possibility that you will be with this person one day but just not right now. An unmet desire often makes the fulfillment of that desire that much sweater once you finally do get to experience what you have been hoping for.
Proverbs 13:12 states, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” As you can see, this can be a dangerous situation because it’s also always possible this relationship will never happen and then your heart will be sick.
One way you can know if this is truly the right person but it’s just the wrong time is by looking at the facts and not just your feelings. If this is the right person, eventually it will be the right time one day too. If the right time never comes, this is not the right person. God will make the relationship actually happen one day if you two are supposed to be together.
2. God Is Allowing These Feelings to Remain So You Are Motivated to Do Something About Them
When you feel hungry, it means you need to eat. If you feel tired, it means you need to sleep. If you feel pain, it means your body needs healing. The same principle applies when it comes to relationship feelings.
If you are just ignoring your feelings, you are misusing the point of why God has given you these relationship feelings. If the feelings are not going away, this means you should explore a relationship with this person. You will then see that this relationship will never happen and then you can let your feelings go; or you can see there is potential and then you can pursue something more with this person.
But if you just waste your feelings for this person by doing nothing, you are misusing the reason for why God has given you these feelings. As Proverbs 13:4 explains, “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.”
3. He Is Taking Away These Feelings, It’s Just Taking Longer Than You Thought It Would
Now we need to address the possibility that your feelings for this person will never be satisfied through a relationship with him or her. So why would God allow these feelings to remain in a situation like that?
One possibility is that God is actually removing these feelings, it’s just taking longer than you want it to. Just like physical pain because of a broken bone, the pain will go away one day but it will take a long time because there are things that need to heal and mend before those feelings can go away.
This is one reason why it’s so important to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23) and not awaken love until it so desires (Song of Solomon 8:4). If you let your feelings go too far for someone, it can take twice as long to get them back if the relationship never progresses beyond hopeful thinking.
Be patient. If God has shown you this is not the person for you but you still have feelings for him or her, do your best to not think about them anymore, avoid spending time with them, and start pursuing healthy relationships with other people. Over time, your feelings will change.
4. He’s Using These Feelings to Help Train Your Heart for a New Relationship You Know Nothing About Yet
God is our loving heavenly Father. Even when we feel he is holding out on us, we have to keep the faith that his plan is always better than our plan (Matthew 7:7-11). This is true when it comes to having feelings for someone that you wish God would just take away. One day he will remove those feelings if you are not meant to be together; but in the meantime, there is a reason for these feelings.
Pray about what God is teaching you. As Proverbs 13:1 states, “A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” Be a wise son or daughter who is seeking to listen to the Father’s instructions. The sooner you learn what God is teaching you, the sooner he will help you move forward in life.
Here are 3 things God is saying to you through your thoughts about someone.