James 1:2-4
1 Corinthians 14:33 states, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” This means God is not going to cause confusion in your life when you are seeking to follow him. However, this does not mean God always prevents confusion.
God could stop anything he wants to stop. Since we are confused at times, this is clear evidence God does “allow” confusion in our lives even when he’s not the one directly causing it. Scripture also states that God has a good purpose for everything he allows (Ephesians 1:11).
Therefore, he are 4 reasons God allows confusion in a man’s life when he meets his future wife.
1. God Will Allow Confusion When You Meet Your Future Wife Because He’s Teaching You How to Lead
The Bible says the husband is supposed to sacrificially love his wife through servant leadership (Ephesians 5:25). Unlike worldly leadership, this means the husband will not be leading through commanding his family what to do; rather, this means his leadership starts with sacrifice and service (Mark 10:42-45).
Yes, the wife is supposed to submit, respect, and follow him (Ephesians 5:22, 33). She is supposed to be his helper (Genesis 2:18). However, he must lead in a biblical way that reflects Jesus, thus causing her submission to be a natural response to his love. She is to submit to her husband “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).
To train you to be worthy of your future wife’s submission, God will use confusion in your life (James 1:2-4). Through confusion, you will have to dig in even deeper with the Lord. You will be forced to hone your skills in hearing the Holy Spirit, applying his word, and interpreting the circumstances biblically.
All of this will help prepare you to be the servant leader the Lord has called you to be to your future wife and kids.
2. God Will Allow Confusion When You Meet Your Future Wife Because She Needs You Take a Risk for Her
Ultimately, a Christian wife is called to respect her husband not because of the type of man he is but rather because that is the type of woman she is (1 Peter 3:1-6). Her love, respect, submission, and help flows from the Holy Spirit working in her. If she only respects her husband when he is the perfect leader, her respect will not last very long.
With that said, God has also called her to choose her husband wisely. Before she gets married, a godly woman must do everything she can do to make sure she is marrying a godly man who desires to do the right thing. He won’t be perfect, but he needs to be humble and repent when he makes mistakes. Submitting to a man is very vulnerable. Thus, to protect her own heart (Proverbs 4:23), she must see certain qualitied in this man before she should agree to follow him in marriage. She can leave a man at any point before marriage. It’s not that simple once she commits in marriage.
This is why she needs to see the man take risks for her before they get married. Is he willing to get rejected? Is he willing to open up before she opens up? Is he actually worthy of her respect?
If God removed all the risk by removing all the confusion, this would erase the man’s opportunity to show this woman he’s willing to sacrifice for her.
3. God Will Allow Confusion When You Meet Your Future Wife Because Real Life Is Confusing
The only thing you can expect is that the unexpected will happen. Get used to it. Confusion is usually apart of everything in life! If you are waiting for baby angles dancing in the clouds to point out your future wife, you will always be single.
If God expected us to never be confused, he would not have commanded us to call out for his wisdom. But he has called us to do this very thing because God knows real life will always have elements of confusion in it (James 1:5).
Your relationship with your future wife will be the same as every other part of real life. It won’t be magical but it will be beautiful. It won’t be sprinkled with fairy dust but it will have the aroma of something amazing.
The difference between a boy and a man is that a boy wishes for better circumstances and a man works with God to improve his circumstances (Proverbs 14:23, 1 Corinthians 13:11).
Truth be told, the messiness of real love is far better than the manufactured Hollywood images of romance that have filled our modern minds. When you go through confusion, this intensifies the joy you will experience when God gives you the clarity you seek about this woman.
4. God Will Allow Confusion When You Meet Your Future Wife to Enhance Your Bond with Her
Confusion will be just one of the many trials God will use to enhance your connection with your future wife. If God spared you both of anything difficult, he would be robbing you of the closeness he wants you two to have.
The strongest of bonds are formed through the hardest of challenges (Philippians 2:19-24 Proverbs 17:17, 1 Corinthians 13:7). Through good times and through difficulties, God will unite your future wife’s heart with yours.
