4 Things God Does Not Want You to Do When Someone Loves You So You Can Keep Them

Romans 12:9-11

Just because someone truly loves you does not mean the relationship will last forever.

If you want this to be a healthy relationship for the long-haul, here are 4 things God does not want you to do with this person.

1. When Someone Loves You, God Does Not Want You to Ask Things of This Person Only God Can Give You

It can be exhilarating when you finally feel true love from another person. However, like all good things, we can misuse this blessing by taking it too far. While human love is a blessing from God, there are still things we must not ask of another person. Some things can only be given to us from God.

For example, no one can make you feel totally loved and worthy of love other than God. When you ask another person to make you feel worthy of love, you will put too much pressure on this person. You will push them away because they will feel like they can never do enough for you.

1 John 4:9, “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 

When it comes to your identity and your core needs as a human, always turn to Christ and not another person.

2. When Someone Loves You, God Does Not Want You to Rush the Relationship

When something is good, we want more of it. There’s nothing wrong with this desire for progression, but without patience we often ruin the good thing that we want more of.

• Proverbs 19:2, “. . . whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.”
• 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love is patient and kind . . .”
• Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV), “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

When someone loves you, they still need to get to know you more before fully committing. They too are trying to follow the Lord and do their due diligence in making sure they are making a wise decision. When you push them for a commitment even though the relationship is not ready for that yet, it makes them uneasy and they begin to doubt.

Treat this person how you want to be treated. Even if they love you, they might need more time before making a deeper commitment.

3. When Someone Loves You, God Does Not Want You to Play Games in an Effort to Keep This Person Interested

There’s never a place for immature games when it comes to true love. True love doesn’t worry about waiting three days before responding to this person’s text so you don’t seem too desperate. True love is not going to pretend to be interested in other people to make this other person jealous. True love is going to be honest and open.

Therefore, if someone truly loves you, they are going to treat you in a mature way that is honoring to you. You won’t need to do all the extra stuff to keep them interested. If they lose interest, they didn’t truly love you. Just be yourself and love this person in the same respectful way that they are loving you. As Romans 12:9-11 states:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.”

4. When Someone Loves You, God Wants You to Do What Is Best for This Person, Whether that Be to Let Them Go or to Commit to Them More Deeply

Just because someone truly loves you does not mean you must have the same love for them. It’s actually unloving and deceitful to pretend you have the same level of love for someone that they have for you if you don’t really have that same level of love.

Rather, the truly loving thing to do when you know someone loves you but you don’t love them back is to tell them the truth. Speaking the truth in love is a requirement for all Christians (Ephesians 4:15). If someone is investing in you and showing you a love that you know you cannot match, the right thing to do is to let them go and find another.

But when you do meet that person who truly loves you and who you love to that same level, the right step to take is to offer more commitment. Love without commitment is not real love (Mark 10:7-10, 1 Corinthians 13:8).

When you truly love someone and they love you, you show loyalty to each other through thick and thin.

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