Perhaps you feel like God is telling you to just keep waiting for the godly spouse you desire from him even though you have no idea who this person is. Or maybe you even feel called to wait for a specific person that you are not currently with but you believe you will be with one day.
In either case, if you feel like God is saying, “Wait for the love of your life,” it’s important to know “how” to wait in the most biblical way possible.
So here are 5 biblical things God wants you to do if you feel led to wait for the love of your life from the Lord.
1. Seek Confirmation that You Are Truly Hearing God Properly and Not Just Following Your Own Thoughts or Personality Traits
“Waiting on the Lord” is clearly a very biblical thing to do. However, when it comes to applying this biblical principle to the area of relationships, it’s very easy to misunderstand what the Bible is saying. Oftentimes “waiting” becomes are default position because we are afraid. For example:
- If you are afraid you will mess God’s plan up by taking matters into your own hands, you might want to “just wait” in an unhealthy way.
- If you did something active in the past and it went very poorly, you might be tempted to “just wait” and do nothing because you are living in fear from that past situation.
- If you are naturally more introverted or shy, you could be tempted to ignore all the commands in the Bible about being active, only focusing on the commands to “wait” because these make you feel comfortable and safe.
The point is, there are both good and bad reasons to wait. We need to be careful we are not just picking and choosing the biblical principles that our personality traits or past experiences are causing us to feel drawn to. God often leads us out of our comfort zones in faith.
But again, “waiting on the Lord” is absolutely biblical. We just need to be careful we apply this wisdom properly when it comes to relationships. James 5:7-8 states:
Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.”
How are farmers patient? If they “wait for the Lord” to plow the field, plant the seed, and harvest the crops, they will be very disappointed because God isn’t going to do these things for them. No, they are patient because it takes time to see the fruit of their labors. They must plow, plant, and harvest. God must supply the seed, make the plants grow, and bring the necessary rains.
Likewise, when God calls you to wait for something in life, like a relationship, this won’t mean you are to sit and watch God do everything. You have to plow, plant, and harvest, so to speak. You have to do what God is saying and then wait on God to do the parts only he can do.
So seek confirmation from the Lord to make sure you are actually following God’s leading and not just your own desires or personality traits.
2. Clearly Identify the Purpose God Has for You During This Waiting
If you can’t clearly articulate what you are waiting for, this is not biblical waiting. Yes, “waiting on the Lord” is certainly biblical, but again, when we apply this wisdom to relationships we often get off track. For example:
- Sitting at home, going to work, and going to the same church and thus only seeing the same people over and over again is not a wise way to wait for God to bring someone into your life.
- Waiting for someone to change their mind after they already clearly expressed they are not romantically interested in you is not biblically wise.
- Hoping someone will change when they have shown no biblical evidence of real repentance is unwise.
When God is really telling you to wait, there will be a clear reason for this waiting rather than a vague, cloudy hope that just sitting still will somehow lead you to the person God wants you to marry one day.
For example, when Jesus told his disciples to wait in Jerusalem after his ascension, he gave them a clear purpose for this waiting, “But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high,” (Luke 24:49). Jesus told them to wait until they received the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:4-5).
Likewise, when God is telling you to wait, there will be a specific, clear reason for your waiting.
3. Actively Wait Rather than Passively Wait
Oftentimes we associate waiting on the Lord with standing still. But this is often the opposite language used in the Bible. For example, Isaiah 40:31 states, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Notice all the active things happening in this one verse. When you wait in the biblical way, you will be renewed, you will move upwards, you will run, and you will walk. If your waiting is resulting in a weakening, a lowering, a standstill, or moving backwards, this is not the biblical type of active waiting that God wants for you.
Yes, wait on the Lord. But don’t wait on life, don’t wait for others to do everything for you, and don’t wait to live. Wait with the Lord but also walk with the Lord into the plans he has for you.
4. Keep Walking with God and Adjust Your Path as He Gives You New Information
God says different things to us at different times in our life. As we already discussed, at one time Jesus told the disciples to wait in Jerusalem so the Holy Spirit would come on them (Acts 1:4-5). But at other times he said, “Go” (Matthew 28:19-20). As Jesus said in Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” They were to wait, but then they needed to go.
So it’s possible God tells you to wait for someone, but then it’s also possible God tells you to stop waiting for that person. Perhaps God wanted to use your waiting to show you this person was not the one for you. Or perhaps God told you to wait so you could mature and heal.
God may tell you to wait for someone, but he will not tell you to wait forever for this person. Someday God will give you a new marching order. Your waiting will need to end because you are now with this person or you have accepted you will never be with them.
So make sure you are actively walking with him and not relying on past things you heard. Keep listening as God is always speaking.
5. Use Your Waiting for the Love of Your Life to Increase the Love You Have for God
How can you really know if God actually told you to wait for this person? How will you really know if you are being too passive or being too active as you seek the love of your life?
Whenever God says something to you, it will always positively affect your love for him. If your waiting is causing you to drift further from Christ, this type of waiting is not what God wants for you. Whenever God truly tells you to wait for the love of your life, your love for God will actually increase through this season of waiting.
For God’s love is what we need most. And our love for him should always outweigh our love for anyone else. Psalm 63:3-4 states, “Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.”