Here are 5 common reasons many Christian guys are not attractive to women.
And please note, I believe there are also many reasons rooted in women these days that make them unattracted toward some really great guys. I can talk more about that if there’s interest. However, in this article, I’m going to be focusing on some things men are doing that make them less attractive.
Also, the deadline to enroll in AGW University closes on 5/28/25. If you’re a man looking for biblical information on how to prepare for a godly relationship, click here to learn more!
1. Many Christian Guys Are Not Attractive to Women Because They Are Too Nice
Please don’t get hung up on that word, “nice.” You may use that word to mean something different than me. I’m using that word to mean something different than kind, respectful, or gentle. A godly man should be all of those things.
Rather, I’m using the word “nice” to describe a man who is a people-pleaser, who’s willing to get walked all over just to keep the peace, and who says untrue things like “happy wife, happy life.”
The truth is, a godly woman wants to submit to a man. She doesn’t want to be with a man that she can railroad. In moments of stress and hurt feelings, she might still try to dominate him; but she also wants him to fight back and not let her win every time her emotions tempt her to start pushing him around.
Sadly, some men have been taught that to be Christian, you must be “nice.” This is untrue. We must be kind and respectful, but we don’t have to be baby lambs. As Proverbs 28:1 states, “. . . the righteous are bold as a lion.”
For more on this, you can read my article called 4 Reasons a Man Should Not Be Nice.
2. Many Christian Guys Are Not Attractive to Women Because They Are Too Feminine
We’re starting to see the negative side effects of raising boys to be more like girls. Growing up in femininized schools and families, men are no longer asking women out, willing to pay for the first date, or to do other traditional things in relationships that women have come to expect. Now many worldly women are beginning to complain, “Where are all the men?”
While you are not after a worldly woman, the point I’m making here is that you have to renounce culture’s pressure on you to be feminine. Women may think they want a sensitive guy. But they don’t. They want a strong man more than anything. I’m not saying it’s wrong to be sensitive, but there’s a difference between being masculinely sensitive compared to just being a man who’s acting feminine.
Believe it or not, you don’t have to always talk about your feelings! I know that sounds like heresy in these feminine times of ours. But it’s a godly trait of strength to not complain (Philippians 2:14), get the job done, and move on without whining about things that are out of your control.
For more on this, you can read my article, 5 Signs You’re Unknowingly Projecting a Feminine Vibe.
3. Many Christian Guys Are Not Attractive to Women Because They Are Too Physically Unhealthy
In their book, The Boy Crisis, authors Warren Pharrell and John Gray state:
. . . a third of young men are not fit for military service owing to obesity and other physical and mental problems. And this problem extends to other professions on which our security depends: 70 percent of firefighters and 80 percent of police officers are also obese or overweight. The US has the highest rate of overweight males among all major countries.”
While being unhealthy due to poor life choices will negatively affect your appearance, which will then make you less attractive to women, there is a bigger reason being unhealthy will keep women away from you. A godly woman is looking for a husband. A husband is called to lead his family and take care of them. If you can’t even take care of your own body, how are you going to be able to take care of wife and kid’s bodies?
It’s just simple math. A man who can live a healthy lifestyle and presents himself as a strong and able person is more attractive to a woman who’s looking for a man to protect and provide for her and her future children.
At first, I was going to say women don’t like guys who are too fat. But then I realized that’s not really true. As a man, you can be a big guy so long as you still look healthy. I was then going to say you need to be in shape, meaning have some muscles. But again, I know plenty of skinny guys who are married to beautiful women. You can be skinny, so long as you look healthy.
So, this idea of “looking healthy” is very subjective, as it should be. We are all different, and there’s no shame in that. Some of us are naturally bigger and some of us are naturally smaller. Some of us were born with handicaps and some of us were born with amazing physical abilities. The key is to be a faithful steward of whatever God’s given you (Luke 12:48).
God commands us to honor him with our bodies (Romans 12:1). Whenever we obey the Lord, good things happen, so take a step of faith and honor him with your body. Just see what happens. Not only will you be more appealing to women, but you will also feel better in your own body.
4. Many Christian Guys Are Not Attractive to Women Because They Are Too Immature
Moms are holding onto their sons too long nowadays. In the past, a boy would enter into his father’s world sometime in his youth. Sadly, do to many fatherless homes or feminized fathers who are ruled by their wives, boys are not getting the male training they once did.
One consequence of this is that males are staying boys for longer. A mom without the balance of a good father just wants to keep a boy safe, keep him dependent so she can still mother him, and give him what he needs. A father knows that to become a man a boy needs to experience some danger, to become emotionally independent, and to be taught how to provide for himself rather than just given what he needs.
College has become ridiculous. It’s no longer a time to train you to succeed in life. It’s now a time to prolong adolescence and give grown men excuses to act like entitled boys. Taking out loads of debt so you can sleep in a crappy dorm and play video games with your friends is just dumb!
All that to say, if you want a godly woman, become a real man. Like Paul, leave the childishness behind (1 Corinthians 13:11) and learn to love like a mature man (1 Corinthians 13)
5. Many Christian Guys Are Not Attractive to Women Because They Are Too Lost
A man who is not on mission will be looking for his purpose. Inevitably, when he sees a beautiful woman, he will say to himself, “I’ve found it. She’s the meaning I’ve been looking for. Now I have a reason to live!”
This is idolatry. A woman is not your mission in life. Serving God is your mission in life. He may call you to sacrificially serve a woman as you lead her as her husband, but she can never be the center of your life. God must be the center.
And a godly woman knows this. She will run from the guy who wants to make her his world. She doesn’t want to be your journey, your mission, your adventure. She wants to with a man who can invite her on a journey, on a mission, and on an adventure. She wants to help you as you both live a meaningful life together (Genesis 2:18). She doesn’t want to be the meaning to your life.
If you want to attract a godly woman, you need to know your purpose as a man and live for the Lord.
And for those of you want deep, biblical relationship training on how to best meet, date, and marry the woman has for you, I’ve created AGW University for you. For more information about the current bundle of courses at the reduced tuition cost, click here before the 5/28/25 deadline.
