When I use the term “soul,” I’m referring to those parts of you that go beyond your physical body but which are still very much a part of what makes you who you are: your emotions, your thinking processes, your will that makes choices, and so on.
Therefore, when I use the phrase “soul tie,” I’m referring to those things on this earth that you are attached to and that have power over the immaterial parts of you: your emotions, mind, will, and so forth. I’m not referring to anything related to demonic possession, demonic oppression, or a literal mingling of the spiritual parts of two people.
So my definition of “soul tie” is this: A soul tie is a relational attachment to someone else that powerfully affects the immaterial parts of you.
(For more on what I mean and don’t mean by the term “soul tie,” you can read my article called, What Does the Bible Say About Soul Ties?)
When we use my definition of a soul tie, it’s clear that you can have both good and bad soul ties in your life. For example, I have a healthy soul tie with my wife because she has influence over my emotions and the decisions I make. I could let this turn into a bad soul tie if I started idolizing her or if we started manipulating each other, but God designed a husband and wife to have a healthy influence over each other. Thus there are good and bad soul ties.
So here are 5 signs God is preparing you to make a good soul tie with someone.
1. If God Is Preparing You to Let Go of Other Healthy Attachments to Make Room for a Weightier Connection, This Is a Good Sign God Is Preparing You to Form a Healthy Soul Tie
Throughout the Bible, there is a theme of letting go of something old to then receive something new. For example, in Matthew 19:28-29, Jesus said:
Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of Man will sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.”
When Jesus talked about the new world to come, he states we must leave the old world behind. Notice how this principle is even found in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Therefore, if you want to receive a new, healthy soul tie with someone, you must make room for this in your heart. Of course you must let go of bad soul ties, but you must also even let go of other good relationship attachments to some degree too. Notice that for a man and woman to become one, they must first leave their father and mother.
If you have all your emotional needs met in other places already, you won’t have room for a new emotional attachment. God will prepare you for something new by helping you detach in healthy ways from the support systems you need to let go of to become connected with someone new.
2. If God Is Preparing You to Sacrificially Lay Down Your Life for Another, This Is a Good Sign God Is Preparing You for a Healthy Soul Tie
Healthy relationships are always a two-way street. It’s easy to long for a relationship because you long to be loved by another in the way that God designed you to be loved. But for a relationship to work properly you also need to be ready to sacrifice for this other person.
Perhaps the best example in the Bible of a healthy soul tie can be seen between Jonathan and David. Obviously this was a friendship and a bond of brotherhood, but the principles seen in how Jonathan loved David can help us see what is needed to form a good soul tie with someone. 1 Samuel 18:1, 3-4 states:
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. . . . Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.”
Jonathan protected David when Saul tried to kill him. Jonathan was the rightful heir to the kingdom since he was next in line once Saul died, but Jonathan loved David and was ready to give the kingdom over to him if that was what God wanted.
Likewise, if you want to have a healthy soul tie with someone, you have to be ready to sacrificially love another for the glory of God.
3. If God Is Crystalizing Your Biblical Beliefs, This Is a Good Sign He Is Preparing You for a Healthy Soul Tie with Someone
As Christians, God has called us to be very careful about who we allow ourselves to get emotionally attached to. When someone has unbiblical beliefs, they will live an unbiblical life because our beliefs dictate how we live.
Therefore, if you want to be connected with someone who has the same biblical beliefs as you, you first need to really understand what it is you believe the Bible actually says. When you really know what you believe and why you believe it, your biblical knowledge will act as a safeguard against getting connected to unbiblically minded people. Notice the emphasis on unity of beliefs and unity of soul found in Acts 2:42-44. It states:
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common.”
Acts 4:32 goes on to say, “Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul . . . .” Their unity flowed out of what they “believed” which they learned from “the apostles’ teachings.”
Likewise, if you want to have a healthy soul tie with someone for the glory of God, you too must devote yourself to learning biblical truth so you and your future spouse can be united through believing the same truths.
4. If God Is Preparing You to Fulfill Your Side of a Godly Marriage, This Is a Good Sign God Is Preparing You to Make a Good Soul Tie
God made men and women different on purpose. These differences are not to be abused in the world. Rather they are to be embraced in the church and in the home. A man and woman should be free to fulfill the exact same roles in the secular workplace and in secular society. But when it comes to the Christian church, the Christian marriage, and the Christian family, God has called men and women to equally important but different roles.
This isn’t the article to fully unpack what those roles are, but if you want to have a healthy relationship soul tie in marriage one day, you can’t be fighting to fulfill the other person’s role. You have to learn to work together as you both display the glory of God in a way that compliments each other’s God-given relationship roles. 1 Peter 3:7-8 (NLT) explains:
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.”
5. If God Is Maturing You in Christ So You Can Display His Glory, This Is a Good Sign God Is Preparing You for a Healthy Soul Tie One Day
When the Bible teaches us about unity, it usually goes beyond a one-to-one type of unity between just one man and one woman. God has called Christians to be the one Church displaying his glory to a watching world. In John 17:20-23, Jesus prayed:
I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.”
If you do get married one day, you two will be a part of God’s Universal Church together. While your soul tie with your spouse will be different than your connection with the church, it’s clear that your soul tie with your spouse should never pull you away from your oneness with God’s people but rather it should add to the unity God desires for his people to display for his glory.