5 Signs the Holy Spirit Is Happy with Your Desire for Someone

The Holy Spirit is a person, which means we must have a real relationship with him. He is not a distant force or an unknown power (Acts 17:23). Rather, he is God, just like the Father and Son (Acts 5:3-4). And so, we can please him and displease him with our good and bad actions and desires (Ephesians 4:30).

Thus, in this article, we will discuss 5 signs that your romantic desire for someone is making the Holy Spirit happy. As you will see, this is not a guarantee that the Spirit will work to put you two together. He can be happy with our desire for someone while still knowing this is not the right relationship for us.

However, in many cases, as we will discuss, when the Spirit is happy with your desire for someone, this is also a good sign you two will end up together.

1. Your Desire for Someone Pleases the Spirit When Your Motives Are Pure

What are pure motives? Pure motives are when you don’t have a selfish reason for acting in the way that you are acting.

Behind every action, whether it be a positive or negative action, there is a reason in our heart for why we did it. As Jesus taught us through the sermon on the mount, God doesn’t just want obedience; he also wants us to obey his commands with pure motives (Matthew 5:20).

Thus, to know whether or not your romantic desire for someone please the Spirit, you must examine the reasons for why you desire this person. While Paul’s words in 1 Thessalonians 2:4-8 are obviously not about a romantic desire, we can see from this passage how important our motives are to God:

. . . but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.”

God was pleased with Paul “being affectionately desirous” because his motives were pure. He wanted the best for these people, not just for himself. Likewise, when you have a romantic desire for someone that is also motivated by a genuine concern for this person’s wellbeing, this pleases the Holy Spirit.

2. If Your Desire for This Person Has an Element of Faith in It, This Pleases the Holy Spirit

One common error Christians often commit when considering a possible relationship with someone is that they want God to give them perfect clarity before they take any steps forward. This displeases God because it shows we don’t really trust him.

When you need God to show you the future before you take a step in the present, it’s usually a sign you are living out of fears in your past. Because something didn’t go well before, you may now be hyper-focused on never experiencing that type of pain ever again. And so, you often keep asking God to show you what will happen if you were to pursue a relationship desire you have.

It’s right to seek the Lord’s guidance, but it’s wrong to expect God to tell you the future before you’ve lived it. Faith is not about knowing what will happen. Faith is about trusting God and obeying him even when you don’t know what will happen.

So if you really like someone and you are willing to take a risk to see what might happen with them, this pleases the Lord. It’s an expression of true love because true love sacrifices for the other person (John 15:13).

Hebrews 11:6 states, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

3. Your Desire for Someone Pleases the Lord If You Two Could Reject Worldliness Together

As Christians, we must begin every journey with the end in mind. What is the final destination you are trying to reach with these beginning steps you are taking? If the path doesn’t lead to glorifying God, it displeases the Spirit.

Therefore, if you like someone because you are looking at their character and the path that they are on and you then realize you two could form a biblical team for God’s greater purposes, this pleases the Lord.

Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

4. If You Sense a Biblical Peace When You Pray About This Relationship, the Holy Spirit Is Probably Pleased

While we must be objective, biblical, and factual to make sure we are truly following the Lord, we must also not forget about our own feelings and inner world. When it comes to things like romantic relationships, it’s supposed to be personal, not just biblical.

Therefore, if you feel uneasy and convicted even though there may not be a biblical reason stopping you from being with this person, perhaps the Spirit is just telling you, “No.” However, if you feel a healthy peace when you are spending time in the Spirit’s presence about this relationship desire you have, this is a great sign.

Romans 8:6-8, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

5. If You Would Be Happy to Make Loving Sacrifices for This Person, This Desire Pleases the Holy Spirit

Hebrews 13:16, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”