5 Things that Happen If You Think Too Much About Someone You Like

It’s actually very healthy to think about someone you like. When you are thinking about them, it can help you process if you really want to be in a relationship with this person or not, it can help you define what you feel God is saying, and it can help you formulate a plan on how to proceed forward.

However, there are dangers when you start thinking about this person too much. Overthinking can cause negative things to happen whether you get together one day with this person or never become a couple.

Therefore, in this article, we will discuss 5 things that happen when you think too much about someone you like.

1. If You Think Too Much About Someone You Like, It Can Make You Nervous and You May Act Unnatural When You See Them

Why do you feel so comfortable and confident around those people you are not romantically interested in but you get so anxious and awkward around someone when you are romantically interested in them? One reason this occurs is due to the mental build up caused by over thinking about this person.

“I wonder if they will be there or not? Should I approach them first or let them come up to me? Should I act interested or just play it cool? What should I say? What might they say to me? Will other people know that I like this person?” None of these thoughts are sinful. However, when they are flowing out of an anxious heart, these thoughts just add more fuel to the anxiety we have.

In Matthew 6:34 Jesus said, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” You’ll never erase all anxiety from life. But we make it a lot worse when we think too much about all the future possibilities.

Peace comes when we can walk with God in the present (Philippians 4:6-7).

2. If You Think Too Much About Someone You Like, It Makes You Feel Like You Know Them More Than You Really Do

Whether it be malicious deceit by an untrustworthy person or whether it be you just misreading a relationship situation, after it happens, you may say, “Why couldn’t I see the red flags? It seems so obvious now!”

One reason we can be misled even though we desperately want to see all relationship variables accurately is because we are thinking too much about things without having facts to really think about. When you barely know someone but you think about them a lot, you will be thinking about things you can’t possibly know.

You will start reading into minute details and drawing huge conclusions. When you think too much about someone, you fill in the all the information gaps with what you hope to be true rather than with what you know to be true.

Proverbs 19:2 says, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.”

3. If You Think Too Much About Someone You Like, It Can Make You Feel Like You’re Trying Something Even Though You’re Not

Logically you know that a real relationship will require you and this person to have real interactions.

Overthinking, however, can tempt you to feel like you are putting in the work. Thinking about someone a lot can be draining and time consuming. It will use up your emotional energy. Subconsciously, this expenditure of energy can make you feel like you’re really trying to be in a relationship with this person. But in reality, you’re not. You’re just thinking about it. Thoughts don’t accomplish anything. They can lead to action. But they are not actions themselves.

Thus, if you want to be in a relationship with this person, you want to avoid thinking too much if it is replacing action steps. Yes, thinking is required so you know what to do. But just thinking will get you nowhere.

Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Planning is needed, but if you’re not doing any work, God can’t bless your plans.

4. If You Think Too Much About Someone You Like, It Can Make It Harder to Get Over Them If It Doesn’t Work Out

Many people have asked, “Why can’t I stop thinking about this person I never dated? I know we are not meant to be, but for some reason I just can’t let them go.”

Many times people struggle to move on because they invested so much mental and emotional energy. It became their mental habit to think about this person, dreaming about the possibility of being together one day. But when it becomes clear that this possibility is not going to happen, the mental habit can still be there, causing it to be much harder to move on.

This why you must guard your heart in situations like this (Proverbs 4:23). It’s healthy to hope that you and this person will become a couple one day, but you also need to prepare for the possibility of this not happening too. Thinking too much about someone can set you up for a long recovery if the relationship never materializes.

5. If You Think Too Much About Someone You Like, It Can Cause You to Have Unnecessary Expectations If You Do Become a Couple

Have you ever heard the saying, “Never meet your hero”? It means that when you idolize someone famous but then you finally meet them, usually you are disappointed because the reality rarely matches the expectations.

The same thing can happen if you think too much about someone you like. Your expectations may get so out of hand that you will be unable to enjoy this person for who they really are. This will either cause you to break up and move on because they are not who you thought they were, or it will cause you have to go through some hard seasons together as you readjust your expectations to reality.

You can avoid all this by having a more balanced thought life before the relationship begins (Isaiah 26:3).

So what should you do if you are thinking too much about someone? How can you stop? Here’s a related article to help you stop thinking so much about someone if you know this is happening to you: How to Stop Thinking About Someone You Like