4 Signs God Is Saying “Give It More Time” About that Person You Like

Should you keep waiting for someone, or is it time to move on?

Here are 4 signs the Lord might be saying, “Give it more time.”

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1. If You Tend to Move On Quickly as a Defense Mechanism Against Getting Hurt, God Could Lead You to Give Someone More Time

• If you have a fear of rejection, you might have developed a defense mechanism of moving on quickly as soon as someone does not instantly match your level of excitement about the relationship.
• If you struggle with anxiety, you might choose to slam the door shut rather than waiting to see what happens because the unknown is just too much to handle.
• If you fear abandonment, maybe you deal with conflict by leaving someone before they can leave you.

If you struggle with something like that, that is a real problem that will negatively affect your relationships. However, this doesn’t automatically mean you’re unfit for a relationship.

Remember, as Christians, sanctification is a lifelong process (Hebrews 10:14, 2 Corinthians 3:18). If you wait until you are 100% ready for a relationship, you will be waiting your whole life.

One mistake we often make when assessing ourselves is by thinking in absolutes. For example, we might say things like, “I’m ready for a relationship” or “I’m not ready for a relationship.” That may be true, but in most cases it’s more accurate to say that “most of me is ready for a relationship” or “something in me is not ready for a relationship.”

My point is, just because there is a real need for growth in one area of your life, that doesn’t mean you should always run away from a relationship opportunity. Sometimes God might just be saying, “Give it more time.”

While giving it more time might result in something blossoming between you and this person, God could also be telling you to give it more time so he can heal and grow you. By facing your fears and not running away, even if the relationship doesn’t work out, you will mature for whatever the Lord does want to give you when the time is right.

2. If Things Are Still Too Early to Know What Will Happen in the Distant Future, This Is a Sign God Is Probably Telling You to Just Give It More Time

When you start connecting with someone, it’s natural to ask questions about your distant future together like, “Will we get married?”

It’s not wrong to wonder what will happen in this relationship or to make plans on how to achieve your goals. However, sometimes our questions about the distant future aren’t about planning; really, we’re asking because we’re worrying.

And then, when the answer doesn’t come, sometimes we want to rush it by forcing this person to give us an answer. Or sometimes we just leave this person and give ourselves the only answer that is in our control. In other words, we can’t make the relationship work. But we can make the relationship fail. And so, sometimes, we sabotage things just for the sake of clarity.

There’s a better way. It’s called patience. Biblical patience isn’t just about waiting. Rather, it’s about waiting well. You can wait impatiently. That is when you are filled with anxiety and fear, even though you’re still waiting. Through faith, prayer, and relying on the Holy Spirit, you can wait patiently and have the strength to act with self-control even when you’re experiencing internal suffering (Romans 12:12).

Freedom is found when we can trust God enough today that our doubt does not spill into worrying about tomorrow (Matthew 6:30-33). If a relationship is still too new to know about the distant future, trust God in the moment and give it time.

3. A Lack of Clarity About What You Want Is a Sign God Could Be Leading You to Give This Relationship More Time

When God tells you what to do, and you’re sure you heard him right, always obey immediately. However, when you don’t know what God wants, that’s when you should give the relationship more time. With more time, you will gather more data to consider about this relationship, allowing you to make a more informed decision under the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Proverbs 19:2, “. . . whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.”

4. If You Will Look Back with Regret One Day Because You Did Not Give Someone a Little More Time, It Could Be a Wise Decision to Do So

In the last 3 points, I’ve been talking about relationship opportunities that might turn into a real relationship one day. But now we should also talk about those instances where you will never date someone even though you have feelings for them. Will God ever lead you to give this person more time?

Yes. I believe God might lead some of you to give someone a little more time, not because this person needs this and will start to like you too one day, but rather so you can have peace of mind that you did what you could.

If you know this relationship will never happen, it’s hard to accept, but do it. Move on and let it go. However, if you’re unsure and really worried about missing out on something good by moving on too quickly, it’s not the end of the world to give it a little more time (Proverbs 16:3).

If you do give someone more time, I would consciously choose a wise timeline, and then once that deadline passes, I would then move on. I would not wait indefinitely for someone because you might just wait forever with no change.

So even if you are wrong and you and this person never date, giving them a little more time can still be useful for your own heart so you can be absolutely sure you did the right thing once you do realize it’s truly time to move on.

When God introduces you to the one, the time will be right eventually.

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